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HENRY A. PARSONS, Jr., Editor and Publisher. .'" NIL DESPERANDUM. Two Dollars per Annum.
VOL. VI. TUDGWAY, ELK COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 2, 1876. NO. 37.
' Railroad Rambling.
A REMIHIBOBNOa OF TBI ORNTIKHUIi.
September enoBhtae'e golden light
Was patting the darkneee and gloom to flight,
When, after a romewhat rcctlf-wi night
Had departed, we started
To take the ears from Commnnipaw
That dropped na at Jenkintown Junotion.
And what we dirt, and what we taw,
From fie time when without eompnnotion
We wrre landed there, in a oarrent of air,
Ten mintitpd too late, with an honr to wait
Bofore the next train's conjunction,
Until we came back, on a different track,
It is proposed to etate and briefly relate
If these rhymes perform their function.
Jenkin'own Junction is near a town, .
And " Jenkins" to ns still remains but a nonn;
The " town " constats of a depot of stone,
Standing with one or two sheds alone
By a muddy stream, in a very stiff breeae,
Between bifjh bills and surrounded by trees;
The nearest dinner twelve miles away
And the final result five hours' delay.
We left the ttation as soon as we could,
With its wind and water and hills and wood;
At Fort Washington got a good, dinner, and
then
Begun to approve of the land of Penn.
Stone honsesnd barns, all built to remain,
Granaries filled with their e tores of grain,
Rich pai-turfB, orchards and fertile fields,
The choicest fruits whic'i the autumn yields,
Herds on the hillsides everywhere
Prosperity, comfort and thrifty care
We noted, wicb plenty of time to spare,
For the train was late, we bad to wait
(Our perpetual fate in the Kt yetone State,
Thon-h not to be o immended);
But at last, ai the sun its course nearly run,
With lengthening shadows blended
Deeeended to rest, in the bluing west,
Our first day's Jiurney ended.
The next day we rested, the next invested
In Centernial exploration.
3 he morni'ig wa fine at a quarter past nine
We arrived tit our declination;
Bod a fountains, hotels, steam whistles and
bli,
Cars, certs, a conglomeration
Of sigh's, Bounds and smells inoeeeantly
dvrol's
Around the Centennial station.
To eyes an! to eara "money!'' "money!"
appears
' In persistent reiteration
On the sins at the gato, by our side as we
wait,
And in every domestio relation.
A specimen graveyard on entering is seen
To the left while before us, in glistening
green,
The Barthnl Ji fountain while off to the righ
Maiu building and sick-chairs attention invite.
Within we found OUina, Japan, Algerines,
Bowls, bureaus and bedsteads, maps, kettles
a: d screens,
N mwmv and Sweden, with figures in platter
Ropresenting tbeir people in joy and dir aster,
The Ceuteuuial urn, Brya t vase, Buseian
eablos,
Fienoh glvc-, Spanish b-ota, Turkish pipes,
Chinote table,
Silks, satins und laces, rags, hardware and
drugs.
Model steamships, oil, diamonds, dried lizards
and bugs.
We went on the roof and then came down to
dine
Near some big earthen pots of domeBtio
design,
Then hurried across to Memorial Hall
As a shrieking steam engine came rushing
along
For locomotive?, great and small,
Buu rattling about through the sight seeing
throng,
Who somehow contrive to get out of the way,
Avoiding a Juggernaut display
(We bad several narrow escapes that day).
Here are paintings and siatu:a of all degrees,
From California's giant trees
To an infant attempting its very first sneeze;
And up from the juvenile aneeasr
To B zpau watching beside the slain,
The fieedman dashing aside his chain,
And the death of Julius Cesar.
In Mat hinery Hall we got some bricks
And candy, examined the weaving
Of oarpets and ribbons and glass, until six
O'olock oMuicei the signal for leaving.
The crowd was great, we got home late,
It rained and we got a wetting;
But things like these are borne with ease
As scarcely worth regretting.
After the rain we went again,
Completing investigation;
Saw Iceland and Spain, but searched in vain
For a Sioux delegation;
Stuffed sj'dtors and flib, frozen meat on a
dish,
A lighthouse and fog horn and cannon,
An improved oannou bill, Horticultural Hall,
Patent cars, and the traok that they ran on
Aorots the ravine, a dish washing maohine,
State buildings, New England log cabin,
With cradle and clock from behind Plymouth
Beck,
A bazaar with a living Arab in,
Agricultural Hall, where it seemed nearly
a'l
The machines had been sold to the Japs,
The Women's pivilion, instrueting the million
In infantile dresses and oaps.
We got some tin pails, were weighed on the
soles
Of Fairbanks and looked at a mummy,
Saw Japan's nous and rails, all built without
uaile,
And had a short ride with the dummy.
On a subsequent day we proceeded to pay
Our respeou to thi shiines of the nation-.
Philadelphia then, with Its charter from Penn,
Commanded corisidertiou.
Independence Hall, Declaration, with all
The names of the signers faded,
Aud Liberty bell that sounded the knell
Of tyranny truly as they did.
At the mint we saw gold stamped, melted and
rolled,
And silver in brioka and in bars,
Coins tarnished aud bright, from the widow's
mite fc - -To
the broadest gold pieces of the ecars;
Spent a couple of hours with the engines and
flowers, f
At Fairmount, passed Glrard bridge aad sol-
lege,
And street after stieet that df not onmp'eto
Our architectural knowledge;
For the dwellings are small, with dark base
ments and all
Alike and without variation;
Bed brick and white atone being made to
atone
for want of imagination.
Limestone, iron ores, the pioluretqne shores
Of Wissahickon in turn olaimed attention;
Norristown on Its bill, the historio Sohujlkill,
And objeots " too numerous to mention,"
Aa the notices say, beguiled us aoh day,
That found but too soon termination;
Until Lehiifh and Easton, though last net the
least on
Our tour of investigation,
Faded slowly from eight, and the engine's
swift flight
Soon ended our twelve days' vacation.
THE RINGLEADER.
A STORT O WILDACRE SCHOOL.
When Mr. Red cami to take the
school at Wildaci'j. he found it no bed
of roses. lie watt a handsome young
fellow, with an eye like Mars, which was
greatly needed at Wildacre to threaten
or command, aud ta - muscle of an ath
lete. But Mr. Reed had an iuherited
habit of blushing, and the young ladies
were not slow to take advantage of it
Perhaps the 1 inffcder of the school was
Georgia Jones, as pretty a little witch as
everwjrked mischief: she it was who
6rst discovered his one weakness, which,
let us add, was not the result of busbful
ncss, but merely of a thiu skin. Per
haps there was no less bashful man in
the world than Mr. Reed, and Miss
Georgie was a mntch for him there, and
did her prettiest to put him to confu
sion. She sketched his unmistakable
caricature on the blackboard, whero she
had been sent to work out an algebraio
equation, of which he caught a glimpse,
turning his beael inopportunely. Before
her quick hauel could erase, he had stay
ed the movement by his own.
"Is that your unknown quantity,
Miss Jones ?" said he. "Please to finish
your problem."
Miss Georgio seized the crayon in an
instant of daring impudence, and wrote
off against the caricature, " plus his
!lush equals," aud then she paused.
Now the woman who hesitates, we
know, is lost.
"Can't you finish it?" asked her
teacher. "I thought you had committed
your lesson. Give mo the crayon, if you
please. "
" Equals Miss Jones, plus her imper
tinence," he wrote.
"Now prove it, Bir, if you please,"
said Miss Georgie, demurely.
" You may take your seat, Miss Jones,
and finish your lespou after school."
But presently the bell rung, and the
young lady whose business it was to an
swer the door brought up a note, which
run thus:
" Will Mr. Reed kindly dismiss Miss
Georgie Jon s at half-past ten, and
oblige her aunt ?"
"Miss Jones," said he, " you may bo
dismissed."
"it she as Keel, with an air of sur
prise. "I was to remain after school."
" Your aunt requests that you should
be dismissed."
"Oh, thanks." There was a general
titter as Miss Georgie decamped, casting
a triumphant look over her shoulder,
for they were all very well aware that
the note was a fabrication of her own,
carried out by Miss Eew, who had been
dismissed on account of a violent fit of
sne zing, aud returned by means of a
saiall urchin sho had bribed wjtli a
penny.
Unfortunately for Miss Georgie, Mr.
R-jod, having au errand at the railway
station after school, encountered her
aunt just stepping from the train.
"I didn't know you were out of
towu," said ho. " Have you been away
long?"
" Only a week's shopping. How is
Georgie doing, Mr. Reed 7 Do you
think she will graduate this year I I'm
anxious, because she will have to teach
when she gets through."
" Indeed I I hope she may find pu
pil -i as docile as herself."
The next time Miss Georgie brought
her pencil aud requested Mr. Reed to
sharpen it, as she sometimes did, he
a-ked : "Are you going to write me an
other note, Miss Jones ? '
"Another note!'1 she repeated.
" When did I ever write you a note f "
" Cau you say that you never did 1"
"What do you mean, Mr. Reed ?"
What does this mean V and he pro
duced the note in question.
She gave a light Jangh. " It means
that you haven't proved that problem
yet. All's fair in love and war, tbey
fay.
Mr. Reed's face did not reflect her
smile, aud Georgie noted the fact with
ustouishment.
" Do you think this quite honest I"
he asked.
"Horrent!" she repeated, coloring.
I certainly do not think it is polite to
coll me dishonest," defiantly.
" was it polite to deceive me I
" Please give me my penoil," said
Miss Impertinence. " Your riddles are
too hard for ma."
"You may taks your seat. Miss
Jones."
Miss Jones took her seat obediently.
and presently the bell rung in the lower
ball. A straLger might not have discov
ered any connection between the two
facts; but the young ladies were allowed
to answer the bell by turns, and it so
happened that it was Miss Georgia's
week to perfom that pleasant office. She
rose quickly to the performance of her
duty. "Oomposo yourself, Miss
Jones," said Mr. Rued. " Miss Samp
son, if you will take charge of the
school, I will answer the bell myself 1"
There was a general titter, led by the
disgraced Georgie, as he suspected, for
when be reached the lower hall, nobody
was to be seen, not so much as a naughty
urchin scampering down the green or
peering from behind an elm. He went
quietly up stairs, but said aothing. The
next afternoon the bell . rung again.
You may go down, Miss Georgie,'' he
said. Miss Georgie did as she was bid
den, for a wonder, and returning after a
reasonable time, remarked that Miss
Kew was wanted. . Miss Kew was on her
feel bvfv.ro tho words were well out of
Georgie's mouth.
"Sit down, if you please, Miss Kew,"
said Mr. Reed. " I will go down myself
and see your friend; if it is anything
urgent, yon shall follow." Mr. Reed ac
cordingly descended; nobody was there.
" Yon may remain after school, Miss
Jones," he said, when he returned;
" and in the meantime I will, to prevent
any further interruptions from visitors,
invite you to take this seat, which, I
think, is more than arm's length from
the bell wire." Miss Jones had sat
where she could watch her chance, touch
the bell spring, and take an airing, fol
lowed by her favorite chum.
It must be confessed that after the last
lingering girl had disappeared and left
Mr. Reed alone with Georgie in the
echoing schoolroom, with its paneling of
blackboard and chalk marks, as if it had
gone into half mourning, that he felt
juRt a little nervous and uneasy. It was
rather tmgallant to ask her to come to
him, it was equally undignified to go to
her; however, he went presently, and sat
down in the seat just in front of her,
facing, and leaning one arm upon her
desk.
" Mis3 Georgie," he began, " I am
disappointed in you."
"In me I" looking -op arohly. "I
hadn't promised anything, that I'm
aware."
" I wish you would be serious, Miss
Jones," he pursued. " I assure you this
seems to me a matter of too much im
portance to admit of trifling. I could
not believe that you would stoop to such
devioes and deceits I Don't you see how
you wound, how you disappoint me!
How hard it goes with one who has
formed an ideal, and " he paused in
his eloquence; Miss Jones was regard
ing him with an air of surprise; he
blushed and stnmbled in his speech
" and and I don't know what I was
about to say ; however, I hope you are
sorry. Miss Georgie I"
"I am dreadfully sorry to lose my
tea; we were going to have hot muffins.
Aren't you hungry, Mr. Reed f "
" You tlon't mean to say that you are
not sorry ?" he flashed. "It cannot be
possible that you have so little regard
for truti, you in whom I have believed,
witL whom I would have trnsti d every
thing and anything, you whom I love "
He paused again, confounded by his
own words, which seemed to have
slipped from his lips unbidden.
"Mr. Reed, did you keep me after
school to listen to a proposal" she ask
ed, rising quite angrily. "It is some
thing quite unusual."
"I did cot intend it, believe me, Miss
Jones. Pardon me; but ont of the full
ness of the heart the mouth speaketh
I must have been thinking aloud. It you
havo found out my secret, I dare say
you are none the happier for it."
"I suppose I may be dismissed if you
have nothing more to say ?" There were
tears of anger or of something standing
in her eyea.
" You may be dismissed. I have said
too much; you have been terribly non
committal." He held out his hand, but
she did not choose to see it, or the dusk
prevented. The stars were coming out
in the evening sky, scents of wild rose
and sweet fern were blowing in through
the open windows, and a bell was tolling
softly in some remote church tower.
"Shall I walk home with you, Miss
Jones ' he asked, as he locked the
schoolhouse door; "you have quite a
walk over a lonely road."
"You'-E.ight have thought of that
earlier. I am not afraid, thank yon. I
know every rock between here and the
farm," she answered, as he held the
gate open for her to pass. Mr. Reed's
emotions were not of an enviable nature
as he walked home alone that evening;
he bad proposed to that little witch,
whom he found it impossible to hate,
and she had rebuked him. A pretty
affair between teacher aud pupil, verily I
How pleasant it would be to open school
next day, with each yonng lady ready to
touch his wound with the scalpel of her
ridicule, and Miss Georgie more auda
cious than ever 1 But Miss Georgia did
not present herself, and the mischief of
the others seemed to proceed lamely
without her. Mr. Reed thanked Heaven
that it was a half-holiday, and instead of
going home to dinner like a sensible
man though what lover ever is sensi
ble, for the matter of that! he struck
ont for the woods ami the river, a long
tramp in the burning sun, and being ex
bausted on his walk homeward, he
threw himself down in the shade of some
wild blossoming shrubs and fell asleep.
He was awakened by the sound of
voices. Were the leaves talking ? Was
the .wind syllabling familiar words f
" Georgie had a headache this morn
ing when I called for her ; lectures don't
agree with her digestion." All at once he
sat upright. It was Miss Kew who was
speaking, and he could see her and half
a dozen others through the opening
among the boughs, weaving oak leaves
and gossiping idly.
" Poor Mr. Reed looked like a ghost
this morning a broken reed indeed !
I guess he found that Georgio belonged
to a stiff necked generation."
"I wonder what they talked about.
Do you suppose she promised better be
havior T"
" Maybe she promised for better or
worse."
" Pshaw 1 put in Miss Kew: "I
asked. her if he said anything tender,
and she said : ' Tender 1 is a bear
tender?'"
"He hugs "
"I've told her that he was dead in
love many's the time," continued Miss
Kew, " and meant to marry her some
day, with all her imperfections on her
head."
" I dare say she wouldn't say no.'"
" Indeed, you needn't dare say any
thing of the sort. ' Georgie Jones is
above marrying a poor pedagogue."
one s poor nerseir. Her uncle s only
a farmer, and she's got to teaoh." '
" But a beauty like Georgie doesn't
need to jump ont of the frying pan into
the fire. What sort of a match would
Mr. Reed bet" . , : '
" A lucifer, I guess." . ; . ! V,';
. Surely listeners never hear an) good
of themselves, thought Mr. Reed, t n he
picked up his hat and strolled quietly
rway, screened by the friendly leaves.
He felt as miserable as a man of twenty
nine Is capable of feeling who has been
guilty of nothing but an error of judg
ment. His t rm would end in fort
night, however, and then he would
throw up his situation and leave Wild
acre forever. He walked on and on in
an unnatural mood, taking any route
that invited, trespassing over cornfields
olimbing stone walls, crossing lazy
streams, till all at once the sky seemed
to change to inky blackness, shot across
with blinding flashes of light j an Atlas
weight seemed pressing upon his brain,
the sound of roaring cataracts was in his
ear, and unconsciousness followed.
There was a young girl rocking and
sewing in the farmhouse near, who,
roused from some absorbing reflections
of her own by the approaching feet and
the tremor of anxious voices, moved
leisurely to the doorway, and encounter
ed the hired men bringing in a burden.
" It's a sunstroke, I reckon," said
one. " Don't ye be scared, Miss Geor
gie; 'taiu't none of your folks."
"Oh! oh! ohlv' cried Georgie.
" Call Aunt Sue ; call TJno'e True. Run
for the doctor, Jake run for your life.
Oh ! oh I Is a sunstroke very danger
ous ? Can't I bathe his poor head, or
do something f Poor fellow ! it'll break
somebody's heart. Why, it is it is,"
with a gasp "it is Mr. Reed! Go,
both of yon, all of you go for the doc
tor. I will take care of him. Mr. Reed
dear Mr. Reed speak to me look at
me. I am your own Georgie, and I am
so sorry so sorry, and I will never,
never vex you any more if you will just
say, 1 love you,' again, just once
again !" and the tender words somehow
reached the half consoions ear, and he
moved his lips feebly, whispering, half
inandibly : "Love i love you ! Hove
you !"
And so it happened that Mr. Reed did
not resign his situation at Wildacre,
though the trustees were obliged to find
a substitute for many a week, while be
was recovering from the sunstroke,
while he made a wedding tour. And so
it happened that the Wildacre school
became the most orderly in the country,
perhaps because he married the ring
leader !
The Man who Gave Odds.
After a strange man had finished eat
ing a hearty meal at one of the stands in
Detroit, the Free Prest Fays, he re
marked to the woman :
" As I was sitting down to this meal I
said to myself that I'd bet ono dollar
against the dinner that the greenback
candidates would not carry a singlo
State. If I hey do, yoU have won the
dollar, and shall have it."
" I want thirty-five cents of you," she
replied, pulling off her comforter.
"Or I'll bet you five dollars against a
meal that the Democrats carry New
York State," he continued.
" I want my poy,or there '11 betroublo
right here I" she eT.olaimed, slipping off
her bonnet.
"Or I'll bet the same sum, on the
same terms, that the Republicans will
carry it," he remarked, as he wiped off
his sandy goatee.
" I never bet, and I want my pay I"
sho called out, being now all ready for
action.
" Great Heavens I but look at the odds
I offer you I" he gasped. "I not only
let you bet on either side, but I offer
you the most fearful odds that have ever
been given since the advent of the Chris
tian era I"
" I can't help the odds," she answer
ed, as she got hold of his coat tails.
"You don't leave here till I got my
money."
. " Or, I'll bet you $35 against this
thirty-five cent debt," he went on,
" that neither Hayes nor Tilden will be
elected. One of them must be, but I
effer to bet thoy won't be, simply to per
mit you to coin $35 out of my hard
earnings. Great Jigs ! but such another
offer was never known since Oliver
Cromwell kept a fighting dog 1"
" Thirty-five cents I" she shrieked,
pulling him around.
"Last, but not least, I'll bet you
forty to on that I haven't had thirty
five cents about me for a month !
Come, now, I offer you every chanes to
win."
She gave bim two solid kicks, and was
designing and drafting a third, when he
made a bolt and left a coat tail in her
grasp. While an officer was looking for
him around the market he was placidly
surveying the soldiers' monument and
picking his teeth with a straw.
James Lick's Old Flour Mill.
One of the late James Lick's most
profitable investments in California was
an old flour mill in Santa Clara. It did
not cost much, and at first was of little
use or profit to its new owner. He used
to get up at daylight, breakfast sparing
ly, aud trudge off to Santa Clara with a
lunch of doughnuts in bis pocket pre
pared by his landlady. Returning in the
evening, he would retire after supper to
his own room, whioh no one ever enter
ed but the person who kept it in order,
and not emerge until next morning,
when the routine of the day before was
renewed. How he amused himbelf in his
privacy no one knew and no one cared to
inquire. Subsequently he built a mag
nificent new mill on the site of the Santa
Clara mill. He is said to have spent
upon it at different times an aggiegate
of $100,000, tnough the exact amonnt
can never be known. He finished it in
the most elegant manner, the office,
staircases, floors and even the hoppers
being of mahogany. But the flour made
there was of a superior quality like
everything else that Mr. Lick had any
thing to do with and commanded a dol
lar or two more per barrel than that
which came from other millers. He se
lected his wheat carefully and always
paid a high price for it. "Lick's flour "
was known far and wide upon the Pa
citio coast, and the demand for it became
very general. Mr. Lick was very proud
of his mill, and finally gave it to the
Tom Paine Society cf Boston, by whom
it was forced into the market at $18,000.
The owner was highly indignant at the
sacrifice, and eschewed the society
thenceforth,
Masteb Tommys View of It. Master
Tommy (he had been very naughty,
and was now amus i g himself with his
Scripture prints)" u ere's Daniel in the
lions' den 1" Mamm u (incautiously)
"Ah I what was he out into the lions'
den fori" Master iMnmy (with tri
unph) 'Cause be was good I"
Sealskin Sacks, Ltc.
Sealskin sacks remain the most popu
lar fur wraps, notwithstanding the in
troduction of seal dolmans and long
cloaks. New sacks are sloped in to the
figure by a seam in the middle of the
back, and are longer than those of last
season, measuring twenty-eight to
thirty-two inches. The front is double
breasted, and is fastened by crossbars
made of bars of fur and cords. The
rolling collar has fur on both sides, so
that it can be closed high about the
throat if liked, or else worn open ; the
breast pocket is inside. Cheap seal
skin sacks are npt to be badly made by
inexperienced workers, who out the gar
ment from the whole skin of the animal,
and piece it so badly that the fur turns
the wrong way, so that, after being sat
upon, the garment is all out of shape.
More plain, nntrimmeil seal sacks are
sold than trimmed ones, because the
first are less expensive, vet the trimmed
sacks are most fashionable. Many
ladies who have worn plain sacks for
two or three winters are now having a
border of different fur put on, not
merely for its beauty, but to add greater
length. The strong Alaska seal sacks
without trimming cost from $50 to $200 ;
$125 buys a very good durable Alaska
sack. Kuotland seal sacks, untrimmea,
are from $75 to $300. Trimmed seal ;
sacks are usually longer than plain ones.
The fur borders are wider than last year,
measuring six inches if the purchaser
can afford it. The most inexpensive
trimmed sacks are those that have black
marten borders, and cost from $100 to
$150. Black beaver borders are very
popular this season : a sack with border
of this fur costs from $100 to $200.
There is also an especial fancy for what
is called silvery black marten andflUveryr-
beaver borders, which are merely the
usual black furs with gray hairs sewed
in at intervals. The purchaser should
blow back the fur and make sure that
these gray hairs are sewed into the pelt,
hair by hair, instead of being pasteil
there, as in the latter ease they will fall
out when exposed to dampness. It is a
new idea to trim seal sacks with Chin
chilla borders, and in the present fancy
for this lovely gray fur this will meet
with favor, especially for yonng ladies ;
with Chinchilla borders, the sacks cost
from $150 to $200. Warm looking blnck
jeaunette borders are also used. Among
the richest borders are those of dark
otter. The handsome unplucked otter,
with its long glossy fur, is shown in'
sacks that cost from $75 up to $275 ;
the plucked otter borders with shorter
fleeco, from which the longer points
have been plucked, is very soft and
velvet-like ; with this border, the sacks
cost from $100 to $200. Exceedingly
fine sacks of Shetland seal with sea otter
border cost $450 to $500. Fisher tail
borders make the sack equally expen
sive. Seal dolmans have been intro
duced, and will be worn to some extent,
but they are too heavy and clumsy for
comfort, and will not be generally used.
Long cloaks with mandarin sleeves are
also made of sealskin and lined with
squirrel lock fur. They are fifty inches
long, are left open up part of the back
seam, and have a broad Russian collar.
These garments are excellent for car
riage wraps, and for invalids who re
quire great warmth, but are too clumsy
to be comfortable to walk in. They
cost from $400 to $600. Bazar.
No Savey Sue.
Sansome street, San Francisco, re
sounded to the echoes of a policeman's
whistle in the hands of a miserable,
miserly looking old Chinaman. A
policeman hurried to the scene, and
found that the celestial wanted a citi
zen arrested who owned him some
money and refused to pay it. It was in
vain that the officer tried to point out
ivith the legal acumen that the China
man's remedy was at civil law that ho
should sue the refractory debtor. No,
he wanted criminal process.
" Me no savey sue ;' savey, he got my
money ; savey, me want it back."
" Oh, come, get out of this," said the
guardian of the public peace, gently
shoving him away from his debtor, who
walked quietly off.
" What you shove me for. Get me
back me money. Chinaman he no pay
white man money he go to prison ;
white man ho no pay Chinaman he walk
off. You say 'sue, sue.' Me no savey
sue.' Savey you allee same fool."
Here the officer made a grab for John,
who effected his escape.
Spunk by a Woman.
A Colorado correspondent writes :
We had the honor, not long since, of
seeing one of the first ladies who ever
voted in the United States. She ca-t
in her ballot in Wyoming, and gave the
following reason why she voted at all,
laughing as heartily as any of htr hear
ers. She said she was standing in a
store one day, when a largo black dog
came in, holding a basket in his mouth.
It was election day, and some of the
men standing round talking about the
late woman suffrage act, passed in the
Territoiy, said Jack (the dog) should be
allowed to pnt his vote in if the women
were, for he certainly had just as much
sense about such things. The lady said
she made up her mind instantly to go
directly to the polls and vote, thortgh
sho hod no idea of doing so before that
man so slandered her sex.
A Man's Life. Wm. H. Erwin shot
Royal H. Plumb at Pittsfield, Mass.
Erwin was a man of standing and influ
ence, and his viotim, who had given him
some provocation, was of bad reputa
tion, shiftless and - friendless. Erwin
was convicted of manslaughter, and hij
counsel pleaded for a light sente -.ce on
the ground of the dead man's worthless
ness. The court, however, did not take
that view, and sentenced Erwin to im
prisonment for twelve-years.
Understood It. A native citizen of
Bangor, Me., was passing by where
some Irishmen were at work exoavatiug
for a sewer, and one of them was jabber
ing away briskly in his mother tongue,
whom he saluted, saying: - w Why don't
you talk so that one can understand ?"
Pat, with the ready wit of his people,
responded: " Yer grandfather was the
boy that could understand it, and talk
it, too, be jabers 1"
Anecdotes of Rnfus thoate.
On a very hot day Mr. Choate was
arguing a case at a law term of the su
preme court before the full bench. He
evidently had the wrong side. Besides
other ca"es against him, a decision of
the supreme court of Pennsylvania had
been cited, which was exactly in point
and conclusive against his positions. He
was apparently in the full tide of suc
cessful argument, and was approaching
its end, when the chief justice said :
" What do you say to the Pennrylvania
case, Mr. Choate 1" " Your honors, I
have not forgotten that case. By no
means. I was coming to it-directly. By
turning to it you will notice that the de
cision was given in the month of July,
in the height of the hot season, in the
extremely hot town of Harrisburgh, in
the interior of the State, far away from
the ocean breezes which heri', at this
moment, are beginningto fan the heated
brow of ju tice. We all know that
Homer sometimes nods; and I submit to
your honors whether it is not indisput
able that the judges of the supreme
court of Pennsylvania convened in the
very heated interior of the State, in the
extremely hot month of July, probably
on one of the hottest days of that month,
and in the afternoon, as the report for
tunately happens to inform ns were, at
the time of pronouncing this abnormal
decision on which my brother so much
relies, either most of them profoundly
asleep, or all ' nodding, nid, nid, nod
ding,' and so not responsible for the
strange doctrines laid down." There
was great merriment amoDg the judges,
and it was-, increased by the profound
pravity of Choate. The chief justice
(Shaw) shook bis sides till it was thought
he would roll off his chair,
-A priori, one would have said that no
sncn style oi speaking as unoate s wouia
be tolerated in a Massachusetts court of
law, it was sometimes so violent, so fran
tic, so extravagant. When greatly ex
cited, ho appeared to be almost in con
vulsions, every fiber in his body quiver
ing with emotion, his faco ashy pale, his
eyes flashing, his gestures most violent ;
aud ho would shout, and even scream,
with all the force of his lungs. He did
not, "in the very torrent, tempest, and,
as I may say, whirlwind of his passion,
beget a temperance that gave it smooth
ness." Like a high mettled steed, he
was off at a tremendous rate from the
word "Go!" and he kept up or increased
the pace to the end of the course. When
I have seen Choate employ two extra
ordinary instruments of expression his
nose and his - heels drawing in the
whole volume of his breath through his
large nose with a noise heard all over
room, and then, to double the force of
the expression, closing bis sentence by
coming down on his heels with a muscu
lar effort which shook the whole court
room ; when I heard of his tearing his
coat from top to bottom, by the violence
of his gestures, I was pleased at reading
that a gentleman in England told Choate
that he had frequently seen Erskine, in
addressing a jury, jump up and knock
his feet together before he touched the
floor again.
How Badly they Felt.
Term was over, the coach was full of
young Oxonians returning to the respec
tive colleges ; the morning was cold,
wet and miserable, when a well appoint
ed "drag" drove up to the "White
Horse Cellar," Piccadilly. " Have you
room for one inside" asked as pretty a
girl as you would wish to see on a sum
mer's day. "What a beauty !" exclaim
ed one. "Quite lovely I" said another.
"Perfect!" lisped a third. "Quite
full, miss, inside and ont," replied the
coachman. "Surely, you can make
room for one," persevered the fair one.
" Quite impossible, without the yonng
gentlemen's consent." "Lot'sof room,"
cried the insides ; "we are not very
large ; we can manage to take ono more."
" If the gentlemen consent," replied the
driver, " I can have no objection."
" We agree," said the inside quartet.
" All right," responded the coachman,
the fare was paid, and the guard pro
ceeded to open the door, and let down
the steps. " Now, miss, if. you please ;
we are behind our time." "Come
along, grandfather," cried the damsel,
addressing a most respectable looking,
portly, elderly man ; " the money is
paid, get in, and be sure you thank the
young gentlemen ;" at the same time
suiting the action to the word, and,
with a smile, assisting her respected
grandfather into the coach. " Here's
some mistake ; you'll squeeze us to
death," cried the astonished party.
" Sorry to incommode you," replied the
intruder ; " I hope you won't object to
have both windows up, I'm sadly troubled
with a cough." At this moment, "All
right, sit fast I" was heard ; and the
" Defiance rattled away, best pace.
drowning the voioes of the astonished
Oxonians
The First he'd Heard or It.
A blacksmith having failed in busi
ness, a friend, to enable him to start
onoe more, loaned him some iron.
which a creditor attached at the forge.
The friendly owner sued for his
iron. Choate appeared for him, and
pictured the cruelty of the sheriff's pro
ceeding as follows : " He arrested the
arm of industry as it fell toward the an
vil ; he pnt out the breath of his bel
lows ; he extinguished the fire upon his
hearthstone. Like pirates in a gale at
sea, his enemies swept everything by
the board, leaving him, gentlemen of the
jury, not so much not so much as u
horseshoe to nail upon his doorpost to
keep the witches cfl. The tears came
into the blacksmith's eyes at this affect
ing description. One of his friends,
noticing them, said to him : " Why,
Tom, what's the matter with you!
What are you blubbering about! '
hau no idea," was the reply, lu a
whimpering tone " I had no idea I
had been so much a-a-a-abused I" .
Thr Mean Wbetoh. Mr. Dorkins
hurried into the house, and exclaimed:
" I ve got another, my dear a good one.
If you were on the top of a ehurch
spire on the back of a goose, how would
you get down I" Mrs Dorkins thought
she d jump down, slide down the liuht
ning conductor, fly down on the goose,
full 'down, and then she gave it no.
" Why, if you wanted to get down, you
uuuu pick it oo me dock oi me goose,
said Mr. Dorkins, exultantly.
Items of Interest.
A large number of cotton seed oil fao
tories are being erected in Georgia, Ala
biuna and Mississippi. .
Since 1873 the Consolidated Virginia
mine has yielded $40,000,000, nearly
one-half oi which was gold.
The London Timet has been trying
American made paper, and praises it as
the best article in the market.
Great Britain has 75.OCO.000 of Mus
sulman subjects, and is, next to Turkey,
the largest MuEsulnfan power in the
world,
A tall man having rallied a friend on
the shortness of his legs, the friend re
plied: "My legs reach the ground
what more can yours d; I"
The value of the natural and manufac
tured produots of Rhode Island for thu
year 1875 was over $500 for each man,
woman and child in the State.
Gen. Cortina, the notorious Rio
Grande robber, but recently a prisoner
in the city of Mexico, is again at work
plundering and murdering on the fron
tier. " Bright of my xislOce I give me an
M--1" said a printer 2 his sweetheart.
She made a at him and planted her
V between his 2 ii's, whioh made him
O .
Thoughtless, that is to .say, selfish
people who hoist car windows at this
season of the year, and let the wind
blow upon peoplo behind them, are
morally responsible for colds, consump-"
tion and frequent deaths.
A Springfield girl, having rebuked her
brother for using the term "sweat," the
latter bitterly remarked : " When it's a
horse, he's sweaty; when it's a man, per
spire is the word; but when it's a yourg
lady, like you, she only glows."
When any one is run over in St.
Petersburg, the carriage causing the ac
cident is confiscated, the horses arc
taken to the fire brigade for public use,
and the driver is imprisoned and flogged.
Hence fewer acoidenta than anywhere
elr,e.
One of the chief results of the election
is to convince a large number of young
men who made bets that.it isn't going to
be a very cold winter, and that an um
brella trimmed with fur will be a very
comfortable substitute for a winter over
coat. She wouldn't stand to have a tooth
pulled for one million two hundred
thousand dollars, she said, and yet the
walked the street all day in tiny gaiters,
two sizes too small for her, and thought
nothing of it; but then nobody saw that
tooth, and several saw the gaiters.
An agent representing several compa
nies of English capitalists, has written
to the Tennessee bureau oi agriculture,
statistics and mines, asking whether or
not there are 300,000 acres of coal lauds
in the State for sale, and if so, to in
form him at onoe, that his principals can
purchase.
Several months ago the practice of
shaving the heads of prisoners in the
San Francisco jail was resisted in the
courts by Chinamen, who prqserva their
queues as a part of their religion; but
the judicial decision is in favor of the
officials, and tho hirsute desecration
goes on.
When Prince Allrert died, an editorial
in the Ijondon Telegraph so gratined
the queen that she ordered a copy of the
paper to be sent daily to each of the
royal palaces. Ever since then a royal
edition of twenty-five oopies has been
daily printed in the highest style of art
and duly forwarded. No payment has
ever been asked or ordered.
A professional trapper with two hun
dred traps is catching musk rats on the
Housatonio river, below Pittsneld, Mass.,
moving two miles a day anil catching
about three hundred rats a reek. He
bd that' in twenty years' experience he
has never seen them better or pleutier,
and he gets twenty cents apiece for
tbem from the dealers of New York.
One of the richest men in a New York
town put au attachment upon the pots
toes of a poor creditor, and in its exe
cution the matter was complicated by the
exhumation of fifteen bushels, more or
lefs, of potatoes belonging to a paupet
who bad expected soon to be able to re
lieve the town of caring for him by the
crop, but now falls back into the arms of
the town again.
"L." writes to the London Times
that his butcher sent him prime ribs of
American imported beef at nine pence a
pound. The meat was fresh and teuder,
although perhaps not of quite so fine a
quality as the best English. He pub
lishes the fact as an encouragement, not
only to American exporters, but to ail
countries where meat is cheap. The
lowest market price for prime ribs in
London is a shilling a pouid.
A Ladies' School.
A school for ladies has been opened
in Berlin on a plan decidedly novel, but
very practical. The building contains
lodging-rooms for forty girls, school
rooms, working-rooms, an immense
kitchen, and a permanent bazaar. In
the schoolrooms every branch, that will
fit the girls for situations in banking,
commercial or mercantile establishments
taught. Various trades that ladies
can follow are exempiinea by skiuea
operatives. The kitchen is, perhaps,
the chief schoolroom, for all the work
there is done by the girls under the su
pervision of one of tho best cooks in the
city. This feature has become so popu
lar, from the large number of betrothed
maidens who flock thither to obtain
good domestio educations, that the man
agers have begun to charge for instruc
tion in cookery, and the receipts gener
ally pay the expenses of the other do-
dartments. ,
The Widow and ihe Bouquet.
A pretty widow, whose husband has
been dead several years, received a
beautiful bouquet the other day. The
man that sent it has been flying around
her with an earnestness worthy of a dry
goods clerk, and it was with extra de
light he saw her pass his store that even
ing with the bouquet of flowers in hand.
"Am so pleased to see you with
them," said he, and a thousand little
cupids dimpled in his smile.
Yes," she replied, it was very kind
in you; I always knew yon liked him-1
am taking them to his grave."
1