' j s?
JiiCil
Two Dollars per Annum.
HENRY A. PARSONS, Jr., Editor and Publisher.
NIL DESPERANDUM.
mm
VOL. VI.
My Heart Is Thine.
When spring's first violet on the gale
H ir tender p r'nme flings (
Whe i, deep in some sequestered vale,
The thrush hit love tale Bings :
When all bright things of earth and sky
In hvinnti i f praise o mbine.
One song, one prayer, alone broathb 1 1
" Sweet love, wilt thou be mine i"
When from the wjodiaml still and lone,
Through the long Bummer night,
Bad Philomel's impasbioned tone
Thrills with love's deep delight;
When, steeped in balmiest breath of Jane,
The earth seems ha'f divine,'
No change know I in words or time,
But sing: "Wilt thou be mine?"
Whon autumn's red and autumn's gold,
Faint wood and wold and hill ;
When winter nights grow drear and cold,
Love, I am chaugelose still.
Though violets wither, roses fade,
Love's calendar and mine
Mark summer still in sun and shade,
And still my heart is thine I
WHY MRS. JONES DIDN'T
MOVE.
In a comfortable quarter of a genial
street in the metropolis, at an inviting
breakfast table, Bat Theophilus Jones,
He bail long since climbed up to a good
position in tbe store which he had en
tered when a boy, and therefore took
his time at his matutinal meal, as be
came a man of his social and business
standing.
It was a rnnegy morning in March,
when the milkman's horse loomed
Ehautom-like through the befogged
aseinent window, and the newsboy
with his bundle of papers seemed part
and parcel of this ioiatomy.
As Mr. Jones wf nt over to the window
to help himself f.'om the newly manipn
lated sheets, a voice from the ki'.?hon
called :
"Gt-t the Herald, Mr. Jones."
And ha did get the Herald ; but as it
was notbiafavoritemorningpaper, lie got
it as a luxury, and put it by tho plate of
Mrs. Jones.
"Hum!" said that lady, entoring
with a smoking and savory dish in her
hands, and beholding Mr. Jones reading
his customary conservative sheet, "I
should think, Mr. Jones, as a matter of
economy, one morning paper would be
enough for yon."
" And so it is, Maiia," said Mr. Jones.
" I got the other for you."
"I'm inaeh obliged for your liberali
ty," she replied, " but it is a matter in
which you are about as much concerned
as myself. I wish you'd read out some
of the advertisements. If we're going
to raovo, we'd better begin to look about
us."
" To move? ' said Mr. Jones.
" Yes, to move. I thought that was
?et led last nigh1;. You say you won't
sleep on the third floor, and I'm sick
and tired of having our bed in the back
parlor. Kosalie nee. is the front parlor
for her company, and I certainly think,
Mr. Jones, that I ought at least to have
some sort of u hole to receive my friends
in."
" Well, but, my dear," expostulated
Mr. Jones, with his forefinger resting
upon the place in the editorial he was
reading, " why is it necessary that we
should be driven from the parlor be
cause Rosy has a beau or two there ?
Live and let live, is my motto. I
sba'n't mind them a bit. You and lean
chat and read and get along in our
usual way. We musn't be put out by
the young folks."
"Yes; but do you suppose the young
folks won't be put out by us? How long
do you imagine Rosalie would keep her
beaux if you and I were stuck there
under their noses all the time ? They'd
tako it as a prying impertinence on our
part; aud serve us right, too. It's about
time, Thoophilus, that Rosalio should
have the parlor to herself ; she was
eighteen last June."
"Yes, I remember," said Mr. Jones;
"the month of roses, Maria. And she
is ths sweetest rose we have ever owned.
It's hard to put her out of our hands in
this way, wife. I love to watch her
winsome ways, and hear the sweet toues
of her voice. Her tricks and witcheries
are dearvr to me, I'll wager, than to any
of the empty-headed coxcombs that
flock about our young maid."
"Yes," said Mrs. Jones, "you love
to watch aud listen; and there ain't a
young man nowadays that will stand
such a thing. You'll have our young
maid an ld miid ; then, perhaps, you'll
be satisfied."
Mr. Jones smiled gently but incredu
lously. " On the other side of the Atlautio,
my dear," he said, "they manage things
better than we do. The lads and lassies
there contrive to fall in love and many
right under the eyes of the old folks.
And it gives one a chance to get used to
the wrench of parting ; and mayhap, if
parents are overlucky, they grow fond of
the marauder hi'uself."
" Now stop there, Mr. Jones," said
his wife, putting the chairs to the table.
"I know what you mean. I know
whioh of Rosalie's admirers is your fa
vorite ; and how you can stand the idea
of throwing away your only daughter on
that miserable Sootehmau up stairs, with
an invalid mother hanging on his hands,
and no salary to speak of or look for
ward to how you can be so indifforent
and criminal to the future of Rosalie, I
can't see. For my part, I hate foreign
ers. An American was good enough for
me ; though, goodness knows, siuce
you've been going over there to buy
eoods. vou've got to be such a toady to
their ways that you might just as well
be a serf yourself."
Here Mrs. Jones rang the breakfast
bell, and down trooped the boys and
Rosalie.
. Why she put up her front hair in pins
it would be hard to say. Barely it was
curly enough already; and her eyes had
all the blue of heaven in their dancing
depths. Her eyebrows seemed on a
perpetual spree of running up to meet
the waves of her hair; her nose also lift
ing itself to those delectable Heights,
There was a dimple in her chin, aud her
Hlmrt upper lip halt hid s row oi ex
auisite teeth. There wasn't a regular
feature there, bat somehow her face was
a delightful resting place for ,the eyes
that happened to be near.
"I hope you haven't wanted me,
mamma," she said. " I thought you
and Bridget could get along down here,
and I'd jnst run in and tidy up a little
for Mrs. Graham. Her door was open
as I passed. She was sitting in a chair
washing up the breakfast things, and
looking so wretched and ill, ma, yon
can't think. It's dreadful for Joe to
have to go away so early. "
Mrs. Jones winced at this familiar
rendering of the hated Scotchman's
name, but remembered that Rosalie was
rather given to abbreviating the titles of
her acquaintances.
"She hasn't eaten a mouthful of break
fast," pursued Rosalie, "and her face is
as white as the wall."
: "I'll poach an egg and toast some
bread for her byaud-bye," said Mrs.
Jones, who was by no means a hard
hearted woman because she wanted her
daughter to have the parlor to herself
and make a good match.
Nevertheless the chief object of inter
est just now was the advertising sheet
of the Herald.
"How would you like to live out of
town i" she said at last ; " to take a lit
tle place in the suburbs, where we could
have a garden and raise our vegetables ?"
Mr. Jones kept a judioious silence,
remembering the experience of some
friends.
"Ob," saul Rosalie, " wouldn't it be
nice? To have a vine-covered porch,
and lots of flowers, and hanging baskets,
and tubs of ferns, and and every
thing !"
"I'll get a Spanish cock and some
hens." said Bob : " it'll be bully."
" And let's have some pigeons and a
a bull terrier, said Charley. " Hooray 1
Mr. Jones smiled, and went away to
tho store. While Mrs. Jones aud her
daughter were about household cares
intent, they talked the matter over.
It was decided th it Rosalie should at
tend to the house during these trouble
some ides of March, and that the mamma
should have no cores but those connected
with house hunting.
"I'm sorry to give upthehoose on ac
count of the Grahams," said Mrs. Jones,
with a searching look at her daughter.
" They'll have to move, of course, for the
landlord won't rent the upper floor
separately."
" Oh, Joe will take care of that," said
liosalie. "lie 11 manage lor tnem in
soma way : and, besides, mamma, wot"
have her out to visit us, aud get her
orram, and strawberries, and new-laid
eggs, and everything.
Mrs. Jones found during her conver
sation that Rosalie's heart was not yet
given over to tho obnoxious Scotchman;
that she knew, of course, he admired
her; but, goodness gracious, that was
nothing. She liked him, too, he was so
good hearted; but, dear mo, tbero -irero
plenty of good hearts at her service, she
hopod. So the landlord was advised
of the change, and although sorry to
pai t with good tenants, was courteously
resigned.
" It's very nico of him," said Mrs,
Junes, one evening, after a fruitless
trump to the country " it's kind of the
landlord not to put up a bill right away.
One can't help feeling houseless aud
homeless after that
" I'm glad, then," said Joe Graham,
who began to drop in every night now,
and talk over their outlook for a home
" I'm glad I've made up my mind to
take the nouse myself, l ve hart tne re
fusal all alone, but hesitated. I've con
cluded to take the responsibility of let
ting the upper rooms to lodgers. Some
of our boys at tho store have engaged
them, and I can afford then to get a
good servant for mother. I think
she'll like this chamber, it's so pleasant
and roomy.
Mrs. Jones looked at the Scotchman
with a rising ire in -her still handsome
blue eyes.
"The impudence of it!" she said,
when Joe had gone up stairs; " to cool
ly prospect around aud shove people out
of their own house to make room for
his mother ! Pleasant and roomy !" re
peated poor Mrs. Jones, looking about
her upon the wide, bright, spacious
room. " I should think it was. There's
your Scotch blood for you canny, they
call it. Yes, indeed, he'll get along;
there ain't much doubt of that. He'll
get along if he has to push everybody
else to the wall to do it. The idea of
that Joe Graham hiring the house over
our heads!"
"But, mv dear," said Mr. Jonr-s,
" why not Joe as well as another? I'm
glad the poor lady can be so comfort
able."
" Of course, of course," said Mrs.
Jonoi. "Glad! you'd be delighted to
have your own flesh and blood fu the
street to acoommodate a foreigner."
Rosalie, who was i itting on the arm
of her father's chair, here pressed his
hand warningly, and presently went
over to her mother, and begun to comb
the whitening but abundant locks of
that poor tired hou-:e hunting woman
Yes, Heaven knows she was weary
and sick at heart with her undertaking.
Day after day she had plodded on with
that dogged pluck and perseverance
which were the main points in her char
acter, and day after day she became
more disheartened.
None but suburban house-hunters and
a pitying Creator can conoeive the
dreariness with which Mrs. Jones set
out on the day after Joe's revelation
that he hal taken tho house for him
self.
She hurried breathlessly to the train,
to wait a full hour at the depot, and
studied in the meanwhile the meagre
advertisement of the rural landholder,
Leaving the train at a station overhang-
ing tho railroad, seemingly a part there
of, aud having no apparent connection
with a collection of houses in the dis
tance, she beguu to walk and walk
pant empty lots and sunken commons,
through streets just begun and others
half completed. Not a creature with-
in sight, except a goat or two, which
animal is always suggestive of misery to
the denizen of a city.
At last she reached the shed set apart
for a real estate office, and found it
closed. The agent was away; no hotel
or restaurant near. The March wind
begun to rise and roar, and blow the
red dust of these desert streets into her
eyes and nostrils. Faint with hunger
and weariness, she dragged herself back
RIDGWAY, ELK COUNTY, 'A., THURSDAY, JUNE 8. 1870.
to the station just in time to hear the '
toot of the engine and see the outgoing
of the homeward train.
Just an hour and a half to wait,
said the station master; and bao'' in
search of the house agent went Mrs.
Jones. This time he was in, and ur
banely desirous of taking her to the de
sired premises. Then they begun to
walk and walk again, till her head seem
ed to leave her shoulders and go up in
the air, and her body to leave her legs,
whioh went walking and walking on. At
last a row of new brick houses reared
themselves before her on the brink of
one of those dismal gorges, the back
kitchens propped up by posts, the
chimneys topped by queer monsters to
induoe them to draw a whole row of
staring brick houses, with little court
yards in front, and a funeral urn in the
middle of what looKed -iiKe a newly
made grave. The agent opened the first
of the rusty iron gates to these little
courtyards, and entered.
"Why, this isn t the cottage adver
tised, is it ?" said poor Mrs. Jones
this isn t a cottage at all. It s a house,
a regular brick house."
" We call them cottages here," said
tho agent, mildly; "we call them brick
cottages. But walk in."
Which was easier said than done, the
occupant opening the door an inch and
parleying with the agent.
xou ll be coming here beiore break
fast, and after we go to bed, the next
thing," she said. But seeing the white,
wau face of Mrs. Jones, she added :
"(Jome in and sit down; you do look
beat out. Yes, ma'am, there's, three
rooms on this floor"
" Four," said the agent.
" Well, if you call that cubby hole
under the stairs a room, all right aud
they're every one as damp as they con
be. With this roarin' fire, you can see
for yourself the paper's all peelin' off
the walls. There's a laundry down
sta;rs yes " (to the agent). "Don't you
be afraid I'll forget the laundry. It's a
very handy laundry, 'cause the water's
knec-deep there all the time; leastways,
it comes and goes with the tide in the
back lots there. There's four rooms up
stair-. as cold as Greenland in winter,
and hot as Africa in summer. There
aiu't a garret on the loft that you can
tuck away as much as an old hoopskirt.
Hut come on up stairs; i ll show you the
hull premises."
Mrs. Jones declined. She was not
quite able to continue her work that day.
Could she (turning to the agent) get a
i iaek in tne vicinity to take to tho sta
tion again ? She didn't feel very well,
ami a storm had gathered. The snow
began to whirl around in the front lots
and back lots that comprised the view,
covering up the ashes and garbage, fall
ing into the pits from whence dirt had
been taken, and upon tho heaps where
dirt had been thrown.
A hack 1 Well, no; there wasn't any
hacks to bo had. A conveyance of any
kind, for which she would willingly
pay if Well, no, he didn t know of any.
if she d take his arm, he d help her
town to the station. And, more dead
than alive, the poor lady found herself
again walking. The agent put her on
the tram, glad to be rid of what seemed
to him then an impending evil; for she
looked bad, very bad, and there was no
place "in Rosedalo for people to be sick
that he knew of.
But a haok was to be got in the metro
polis, which Mrs. Jones reached at
nightfall, and she fell from the steps of
the coach into the arms of her aston
ished and terrified husband.
" Don't be alarmed, dear," she whis
pered; " don't mind, Toffy; but I'm go
ing to die, I think."
" Hold on I cried Mr. Jones to the
hockman. Then he carried his
wife into the house, and jump
ing into the cab, went after the family
physician.
sue must be very bad, whispered
Mr. Jones to himself. "She hasn't
called me Toffy,' nor put her arms
about ma in that way, since our honey
moon." The doctor looked grave, ordered per
fect quiet; a sedative. The next morn
ing he looked graver still. Ice was put
upon the poor lady s head, which rolled
helplessly to and fro upon the pillow.
And there she lay for four long weeks.
it was a season of wretchedness and
despair. Nobody knew how dear and
necessary was this rather sharp and per
emptory matron till there was an im
minent danger of losing her. Then all
was remembered and clung to tearfully
Jones found his heart contracting with
agony, and could think of no way in
which life would be endurable without
her. To contend with business affairs,
to shape the future of this pretty Ro
salie, to manage these three boisterous
boys, without Maria without Mrs,
Jones !
" My God ! Joe," he cried, that night.
bowing his head upon the marble table
and bursting into tears, " I shall go
mad.
"Hush! take heart. There's a faint
hopo, said Joe, coaxing the cold,
trembling fingers of Rosalie into his
keeping.
Oh, what would they have done with
out him, these Joneses, who knew naught
of sickness save the little ills that yon
der fainting hand npon. the bed bad
guided safely into health again ? Joe
had dealt with it all his life.
That dreadful night not an eye closed
in the house, save, perhaps, the tear-
swollen ones of the boys. Early in the
day Mrs. Jones had fallen into a slum
ber which the doctor had said would
probably lead from unconsciousness into
death. But the next morning, though
still asleep, her pulse was stronger ; a
gentle perspiration bathed her forehead.
The doctor's eyes gleamed suddenly
with hope, and he drove them all down
into the front basement to tell them that
perhaps there was indeed a moderate
chance for the life of Mrs. Jones.
Which soon ripened into a certainty.
Once giving that good lady a foothold
upon the shore again, there was not
much danger of her drifting out. She
became gradually conscious of all that
nad happened.
"It was the wonderful goodness of
Uod, said pure and gentle Mrs. Ura
ham.
"And, under Heaven, my strong
constitution," said Mrs. Jones, that
was proof against house hunting; and
more is due to the care and nursing of
your strong, good son. Uod bless him,
anyway 1" she said, tears rolling out of
her eyes. " I'm glad he's got the
house, as long as we naven't. We must
begin to look about us now; it must be
well on the first of May."
Then her weak, wandering sight be
gun to fall npon each well beloved arti
cle of furniture filling its appointed
place, upon the still bright and cheery
carpet that had been fitted to the par
lors so many years ago. npon this and
that bracket on the wail, this and that
niche for familiar household gods.
"Oh, dear!" she cried to herself,
pitcously, " am I going now to be a
weak, maudlin woman, and cry over
what can't be helped?"
"Joe," she said that night to young
Graham, " I wish you'd look up a house
for us. Jones isn't worth a pin that
way, and you see how it is. Do, like a
good boy, just get us a place in the city,
as near by as you can."
"Why, Mrs. Jones," said Joe, "I'm
sorry if it displeases you, but we were
compelled to do something, and I
thought perhaps you wouldn't mind just
living as we are for another year
mother and I upstairs and you down, in
the old way."
" In the dear, blessed old way," mur
mured Mrs. Jones, holding out to him
her shaking hands. "God bless you,
Joe!"
Giggling Girls.
A lady writer gives the following well
merited remarks on what she terms
"giggling girls": The Te hes. Per
haps you don't know them by that name.
Well, then, suggest? a better. They are
the salt of our society, in one sense ;
girls of good minds minds that will be
good if they survive the giggling age ;
girls of good families, well dressed,
polite, and fine looking, bnt possessed
of the insane idea that they must laugh
upon all occasions, whether there is any
thing to warrant it or not else they are
not jolly, gay girls, and lively company.
A bevy of them came into a public library
one day. One had lust had an ad
venture, which was to be recited. She
dropped into a chair, bent over, and
held her sides, atd they all chorused in.
They hadn't heard it yet ; but of course
it would be awful funny when it was
told. She was coming np the street
when she stepped on a rotten plank te
he I he ! chorus, te he ! and down she
went. Oh, dear! te he 1 he ! and her
foot got tangled full chorus, te he ! he!
he! and a mnn came along with a
horrid check shirt on he ! he ! he !
big checks : perfectly horrid 1 he ?
and helped her up he ! he 1 he I Then
a waving of the bodies back and forth,
and a grand te he ad libitum, all to
gether. They were splendid girls ! I
speak sincerely. But what an exhibi
tion ! I saw an old graybeard take a
book he didn't , want and hurry away.
Thou another girl toolr it tip, and Paid
her book was so comical she just howled
over it he I he ! They must all read it
they would laugh so. As if that was
the end and aim of. a girl's existence.
When a man is amused he laughs with
gusto, and then straightens his face till
the next time. And it has some mean
ing. But the perpetual grin or giggle
is detestable. At a lecture recently I saw
six young ladies seemingly convulsed
with laughter for five minutes or more
at the accidental dropping of a paper
of candies over the floor. I think I can
go into a social parlor and select the
groups of married ladies from those of
the girls not by their faces nor by their
dresses, but by the amount of giggling
done. Matrimony subdues the snickerer.
A Practical Joker.
There is a man in New York a Cali-
fornian who is never so happy as
when ho is playing a practical joke. The
othor night he was at the theater and
saw with his military eye i. e., white
turned up with red how much the
couple next to him were enjoying them
selves. They cooed in the sentimental
passages and nearly dissolved away into
tears on one another s shoulders wnen
the pathetic incidents were unfolded.
" I'll spoil their fun," thought he. So
he tore off the back of a letter and wrote
on it in load pencil as follows: " If any
thing should happen to me, have me
sent to the Hoffman House." Then he
handed it to the young gentleman who
made one of the happy pair. He read
it, then they looked at one another, and
then they looked at him. He is a pale
man, this little joker, and he can assume
a deadly-lively expression at win. mot
another blissful minute did that cooing
twain pass that evening. Every other
minute they would look toward him;
not an instant did he assert his natural
vivacity. "A night with a madman"
was nothing to it. But at the close of
the performance this pale man arose,
followed by the anxious eyes of the hap
py pair, and slowly mingled with the
throng. As he turned away an appreci
ative smile lit wp his olassio features
but they will never know.
A Monster Fruit Farm.
In Santa Barbara county, California,
there is an immense farm of 2,000 acres
owned by Mr. Elwood Cooper. He has
in prospect a small fortune from his
nut bearing and fruit trees. He has
12,500 almond trees three years old, also
3,500 walnut trees from one to three
years old; these will begiu to bear in
about five years. Of the olive he has
4,000 trees, and will plant out 1,000 cut
tings this season. Of the domestio
fruits he has large orchard. He has a
warm, sheltered nook in a canyon in the
foothills, just large enough for 1,000
lemon trees, which will be planted the
coming season. Mr. Cooper will go to
Sicily this fall and, procure the pure and
unadulterated Sicily lemons, the best
known to commerce. Of the forest
trees he has 60,000 of the Eucalyptus
globulus and 10,000 Eucalyptus ros
trata, or red. gums. He has a large
number of the Yarrah, a variety of the
Eucalypti. This tree, unlike the others
named, is of a slow growth, but a much
mora durable quality of timber. When
the orchards of nut bearing trees come
into full bearing, one hundred men will
be required the year round to cultivate,
gat her and prepare the fruit for market.
An exchange remarks that as the aver
age age of a farmer is sixty-five years,
aud a printer only thirty-threo, the for
mer should pay the latter promptly.
THE ART OF rRIXTfXG.
The Pree nt the Ontennlnl Exhibition
The Old Franklin Preas, eic.
At the end of the United States' long
line of printing presses, in Machinery
hall on the Uentennml grounds, stands a
broken down, dilapidated piece of ma
chinery, whose only present ontward
glory consists in a brass plate, which is
far from being polished to too high a
luster. Its homely appearance forbids
tho "supposition that it ever slept the
sleep of the aristocratio just in Wardonr
street, soho, and yet, in spite of its
want of ontward attraction, some one
has taken measurable care of it. The
brass plate alluded to furnishes the key
to the humble mystery. Let every visi
tor who approaches this relio of the past
brush up his history and polish his
bump of veneration, for it is before the
printing press at which honest old Ben
jamin Franklin toiled and sweated 148
years ago that he stands. Speaking of
one of the incidents of Franklin's Lon
don life in 1768, this brass plate reoords:
" The Dr. at this time visited the print-,
ing office of Mr. Watts, of Wild street,
Lincoln's Inn Fields, and, going np to
this particular press, thus addressed the
men who were working at it: 'Come,
my friends, we will drink together. It
is now forty years sinoe I worked like
you at this press as a journeyman
printer.' The Dr. then sent for a gallon
of porter, and he drank with them,
Success to Printing.'" How easily
one can picture the doctor gently re
placing the pewter pot upon the bench
or handing it to his nearest neighbor,
and then, with a sigh of satisfaction,
wiping tho foam from his lips with his
big bandanna before proceeding to give a
series of contented rubbings to his
broad forehead. : . . - i
Franklin's press, says a Times corre
spondent, is only a little less rude than
Caxton's; it is only a little more rude
than Stanhope's, which is to-day repro
duced with more or less elaboration in
all the hand presses known to that world
in itself the job printing trade. This
old press of Franklin's is only behind
Stanhope's inasmuch as it does not pos
sess tho toggle joint, a joint bringing
about a pressure somewhat similar to
that induced by the sudden straighten
ins of the human knee. It is a wooden
framework, about seven feet high, with
two uprights and two cross-heads, one
stationary and the other sliding, by
means of which the levir, working the
screw, forces the platen down.' The
table moves backward and forward, the
traversing being worked by an ordinary
crank handle, which runs two small
wheels furnished with reverse straps.
Such is the simple machine by whose
slow and labored means the book educa
tion of the world was carried on a hun
dred and forty-eight years ago.
Walking along the line of presses we
jump over a century and a half, and we
find the progress made in printing
presses most wonderful. It is only a
few years since the old hand press was
discarded from the large printing offices
to make room for the first power presses.
The London Times was first printed by
steam pewer on the twenty-eighth of
November, 1814, and the issue of the
ensuing day, the twenty-ninth, contains
a self-congratulatory comment on so
auspicious an event. " Our journal of
this day," says the Times, "presents to
the publio the practical result of the
greatest improvement connected with
printing since the discovery of the art
itself." Wonderful to relate, this press
printed 1,100 sheets per hour. It was
a wonderful thing in those, days, but
now in the same line with the old Frank
lin and the Ramage stand presses that
will turn out 17,000 fully printed papers
per hour, equal to 34,000 impressions.
Verily, the art of printing has kept
pace with the wonderful things of the
century.
Centennial Notes.
Six thousand silkworms from China
are on exhibition at the Centennial.
In the cataract in the annex of Ma
chinery hall the sheet of water is thirty
three feet in length, and has a fall of
thirty-five feet.
The number of cases in the vicinity of
the Exhibition of drunkenness, disor
der or dissipation is said to have been
thus far very small.
The national parade of firemen will
take place in Philadelphia on the sixth
of September, Hamilton Disston, of
Philadelphia, grand marshal.
Cinada has contributed a section of a
white pine tree, eight feet five inches in
diameter, perfectly sound from bark to
heart, although its age is estimated to
be bo4 years.
A poplar tree on the grounds has been
decorated with hanging branches of
moss from Georgia, illustrating the
manner of growth in the swampy lands
of the south.
The following alteration and addition
have been made to the list of special
displays already announced : Early
grass butter and cheese, June 26 to July
b, instead of June Id to 17; grapes, Oc
tober 10 to 14.
The Boston Pest remarks: If the Cen
tennial authorities should see fit to offer
a prize for the pink of politeness it is
questionable whether American exhibi
tors at Philadelphia could stand any
chance by the side of their foreign
brethren. Take, for instance, the man
ner adopted by the different exhibitors
in giving notice that their goods are not
to be handled. The blunt Yankee
" hands off," printed in bold letters and
fastened in half a dozen places on every
case, looks brusque beside the courteous
"please not handle" of the English ex
hibitors, and the still more polite " vis
itors will confer a favor," eta, etc,
which is the way the request is worded
by the French, Egyptians and others,
" High ' Life Below Status I
Master (sniffing) : "There's a most ex
traordinary smell, James; "I've noticed
it several ' Hall Porter : " I don'
wonder at it. sir. I've spoken about it
down stairs. The butler, sir, you see, is
igh (Jhuron,' whim he as nt up anora
tory in the pantry, and burns hinoense.
We could stand ' that: . but the
cook is the ' Low Church ' persuasion,
and she burns brown paper to hobviate
the hinoense. It's perfectly hawful on
saints days, sir 1 1 1 -runcA. .
Bringing Bad Luck.
Can there be such a thing as ill lnck
in mv Vinililinor ? asks a correspondent.
Some persons who take the affirmative
point to the grand warenoune m iuuou
tpntr. Xnw York, onoe occupied by C.
W. k J. , T. Moore k Co., dry goods
jobbers. This house made money until
they took this stand, and then they soon
. - . . . ml I
ney soon
failed in a hopeless manner. The next
tii t- T...,ii'nnfnn
tenants were .uamruy , uuuu.i.6,
who had also reached wealth in
tho fitimo trade. They also failed, and
their families are now living almost in
destitution. Prior to this the spot had
been occupied by the Broadway Thea
ter, and there was so such iniquity per-
pertrated there that, as some think, it
left a curse whioh must for a while rest
nn Mm nronertv. Old Stephen Whitney,
who was in his day the largest owner of
real estate in the First ward, firmly be
lieved in luck as oonnectetf with busi
ness localities. I am not a convert to
this opinion, bnt would say that the
qnestion is open, and any of our readers
can test it by hiring the Leup mansion
nn Madison snuare. which has been
termed an unlucky house. The first
nnnnimnt was its builder. Chas. M. Leup,
once a rich leather merchant in the
swamp. He had the finest gallery of
piotures at that time in New lorkcity,
and lived in grand style ; but his splen
did career came to a sudden end by sui-nii-ln.
Tim neit occupant was the Ro
nalds family. They were very stylish,
and Mrs. Ronalds was nn admired singer,
whose receptions were noted for fine
mnsienl entertainments. It was not
long, however, before a shadow fell upon
the house. The family was broken up,
the husband and wife parted and are no
more known in sooiety. The Athenreum
club then took possession. This institu
tion contained a number of Utterateurs
aud some men of marked talent ; but it
did not succeed. The members fell to
disagreements and some were Bued for
their share in the debts, and so the whole
concern went to ruin. An ambitious
merchant next took .the house. His
nnnm was Barreda. and he was a
Peruvian who by importing guano had
got rich. His wealth, however, soon
took wines and he was obliged to seek
an humbler abode. The Leup mansion
is again in the market at a low rem.
A Co-operative Store.
A co-operative association, now in
successful operation in New York city,
exhibits some features of interest in
showing another method. In Novem
ber. 1875. thirty eentlemen of means
and position united under the laws of
the State and opened a co-operative
store for their own use and benefit.
Each member contributed one hundred
dollars in cash, and, under the manage
ment of a board of directors, a compe
tent manager and four assistants were
engaged at reasonable wages. A small
store was hired, a choice stock of gro
ceries purchased, a few simple rules
prepared, and the store went into opera
tion. By these rulss, each member
makes all his purchases at the store, and
either nay cash or opens an acoount
that must be paid on the first day of
each month. The member has nothing
to do bevond thij. He pays in his
hundred dollars, forgoes all interest in
it, and expects no bonus or dividend of
any Kind. J.ne pront comes in uie re
duced cost of the Roods.
Once each mouth the business oi the
store is examined by an advisory board,
and, if there is a profit over the expenses,
the prices are lowered sufficiently to ex
tinguish it. If there is a loss, the prices
are raised sufficiently to cover it during
the next month. The experiment has,
so far, worked smoothly and proved a
success. The store not only supplies
the members with the best goods, but
delivers them free at their residences at
a very material reduction from the retail
market rates. The store itself is per
fectly plain, and is exceptionally neat
and attractive. mere is no guumg or
display, not even a sign, except a card on
the door. It is only open by daylight,
and is only visited by the members.
No member is liable beyond tne
invested on joining the association, and
any one may withdraw at any time py
giving sumcient notice, and may tnen
recover his money in the form of a
gradual abatement on his monthly
purchases.
The Black Hills.
Gen.
Sherman, in a published letter,
savs: 1 have been to tne jrresiaeni
with Gov. Thayer. After reading the
papers, aud some discussion, the Presi
dent said that the peopio wuo naa gone
to the Black Hills of Dakota, inside the
Sioux reservation, or who may here-
after co there, are there wrongfully, and
that they should be notified of the fact,
uui iue govermuBuu io cugugou w vrx-
tain measures that will probably result
in onenincr nn the country to occupation
and settlement. Meanwhile the Indians
should not be allowed to scalp and kill
anybody, and you are authorized to af
ford protection to all persons who are
coming away and who are conveying
food aud stores for those already there.
I understand that arrangements are now
progress with "lied Uloud and
.. is,-rrT(i -ion T.n remnvH. nn i Tnenn-
'Spotted Tail" to remove, and mean-
whife the agency Indians should .kept
near the agencies, if satisiactory ar-
rangements are not oonciuueu, new
orders will be made as to the whites
, i l . i a
new
nrhn linTTQ intrinloil nn t. m tSinnv reser-
vation.
Going to the Bad.
About eight years ago Emmet, before
then a negro minstrel, started out as a
" Dutch" comedian, and won popularity
and a fortune in a play called "Fritz."
He is said to have made $150,000 ii five
years, as bis ability to draw large audi
ences enabled him to dictate terms with
managers. Drunkenness was one of the
results of his success. During his last
engagement in New York city he was
often peroeptibly intoxicated when on
the stage. A letter in the San Francisco
J'ost says that on the stage of the opera
houte in Melbourne, Australia, be was
recently so drunk that he fell while try
ing to dance, and soon afterward fell
asleep in the midst of a scene. The
stane manager roused him and led him
bt hind tho scenes, and the audience de-
parted in disgust. . j
NO. 16.
Items of Interest.
The clink of silver mmey is for cash-
ears.
The art of life consists of being well
deceived.
A man must be very hungry to like
the sound of a dinner gong.
Sinoe the introduction of silver there s
uf. nnt. an mne.li nlnuiffp.
- . V.
TIia TtnlMmore sun advocates appenu
, ,, . n,
ing to every death notice the name of the
doctor.
Tim difference between an overcoat
and a baby is, one you was and the other
you wear.
Motto of a Portland temperance re
form club: '" We bend the knee, but not
the elbow.
Dr. Parr once asked Porson what he
thought of evil. "I see no good m it,
was the reply.
Which is the easiest profession ?
Divinity, because it is easier to preach
than to practice.
Tim utmost that severity can do is to
make men hypocrites; it can never make
them converts.
An old maid, speaking of marriage,
says it is like any other disease while
there's life there's hope.
Men of force and industry every
where will tell you that it is the hardest
thing in the world to do nothing.
Until he measures himself by others,
the self-made man is never quito certain
whether or not he is well made.
The life of a rich old bachelor is a
splendid breakfast, a tolerably flat din
ner, and a most miserable supper.
A conundrum that has never been
satisfactorily answered How many
bootjacks does it take to kill a cat?
A clergyman, who lives on the sea
shore, says he likes calm Sundays, be-
cause he is opposed to oaooaiu ureun-
ers.
During a recent hail storm in Kansas
the hailstones in certain places were
drifted by the wind to a depth of four
feet.
No vouner man should think of send
ing poetry to a publisher without send
ing the names of a few subscribers as an
atonement.
A young lady who had a now hood,
and was asked to lend it frequently,
said she was getting tired of keeping a
neighborhood.
The French invention of toughened
gloss is in some respects less satisfac
tory than was at first supposed. It is
true that it does not easily break, but it
cannot be cut.
A London doctor has discovered that
yon may cure the toothache by dissolv
ing half a drachm of bicarbonate of soda
in an ounce of water ana noiaing uie
solution in your mouth.
The other day a Black Hills stage
driver undertook to horsewhip his pas
sengers into getting out and pushing up
hill, but the gold seekers held a cor
oner's inquest and found that he died of
pneumonia.
A hotel in Kansas has the following
notice displayed in the bedrooms :
Gentlemen wi'shiDg to commit suicide
will please take the center of tbe room,
to avoid staining the boa lineu, wans
and furniture with blood.
Some one asked the elder Dama? for
his autograph. " My autograph ! ho
cried; "you can find plenty of them
floating about in the shape of notes, aud
you will know that they are genuiuo by
their being all protested."
Young miss, fond of pets "Oh, I m
so glad you love oirus, jur. onooiis;
what kind do you admire? loung
man, who is quito poetical "Well, I
think a good tuikey, with oy.-ter stuff
ing, is about as good as any.
Experiments lately mado in Franco
show that air laden with coal dust is
highly explosive. Several cases of ex
plosion in coal mines nave oeen iruceu
to the action of suspended coal dust
when no fire-damp was present.
" How shall we settle the labor ques
tion?" exclaimed a politician in the
midst of his speech. "By all going to
work and earning your living honestly '"
thundered a spectator in the gallery.
That sentiment brought down the house.
If a man is looking for a situation
and can show a good recommendation
from hismother-iu-law, it will go further
toward securing him the po.-ition than a
dozen testimonials from his uncle or
brothers-in-law. But such recommenda
tions are extremely hard to get.
In renlvinc to a toast to his health,
on a recent occasion. Lord Suaftesbury
told the story of a man who said, when
his lordship was presented with a
donkey by the costermongcrs in ljon
don : " Somehow or other, I shall never
again see a donkey without thinking of
your lorusuip,
In Binsharapton, N. Y.. there is nn
insane man whose ailment is a symptom
of a lingering type of hydrophobia. He
was infected by being bitten by his wife,
who died of 'hydrophobia about four
years ago. See was bitten by a aog
when she was a gin, ana iiveu mteuu
years without any symptoms oi iuo
disease.
Two snarks from London once came
I .... . . -. .
H& S:'
mi
' H w. BB
. - Y - - f
hrflW .. ai, T'J.Tk JZI
P " . . ., .
here, I suppose?"
"Farrer than that."
"How is thatY"
mists gang awa
Yu jist wait tule the
and you'll see the
mune."
A gentleman cave his servant maid the
following character the other day : "Tho
bearer has been in my employ a year
minus eleven months. During that
time she has shown herself diligent at
the house door ; frugal in work ; mind
ful of herself ; prompt in excuses ;
friendly toward men ; faithful to her
lovers ; and honest whysn everything
had vanished."
Formerly rain was unknown upon the
northern part of the Red sea, but si;ce
the building of the Suez canal showers
have fallen regularly ahou1 once a fort
night. The result has been to start
vegetation np, even upon the Asiatic
side, in the most wonderful manner. If
things go on as they have begun, the
sands of tbe isthmus will be covered
with forests in another fifty years,