Bit1' i HENRY A. PARSONS, Jr., Editor and Publisher. ELK C.OUXTTTIIE REpUBLlCAtfrARTT. Two Dollars pkb-Akkoic, VOL. I. RIDGWAY, PA., THURSDAY, APRIL 13, 1871. ISO. 7. MT OLD COAT. HT MonTIMEll COLLINS. This old velvet com has grown queer, 1 ad mit. And changed Is the color, and looeo Is the fit ; Though to beauty It certainly can not neplre, i tuzj oia coat lor a scai ny me lire. When I first put It on It was awfully swell : I went to a picnic, met Lucy Lepel, Jlado a hole lu the heart of that sweet little . . (fin, Ana disjointed the nose of her lover, the We rambled away o'er the moorland togeth er: -My coat was bright purple, and so was the ueamer; And so was the sunset that bluzcd in the . west, As Lucy's fair tresses were laid ou my breast. Vie plighted our troth 'ueath that sunset anamc, But Lucv returned t W Fml nil ti.n .,.. . She's a grandmamma now, aud is going down hill, But my old velvet coat is a friend to me still. It was built by a tailor of mighty renown, Whose art is no longer the talk ol the town ; A magical picture my memory weaves hen I thrust my tired arms through Its easy old sleeves. 1 see In my fire, through the smoke of iny Sweet maidens of old that are long overripe, Aud a troop of old cronies, right gny cava liers, Whose guineas paid well for Champagne at Watier's. A strong generation, who drank, fought, and kissed, Whose hands never trembled, whose shots never missed ; Who lived a quick life, for their pulBes beat high io remember them well, Sir, my old coat and 1. Ah, gone Is the age of wild doings at court, Rotten boroughs, knee-breeches, hair-triggers, and port ; Still I've got a magnum to moisten my throat, And I II drink to the Past In my tattered old ME AXD MY PAL.' A Tale of the Cnbnn Rebellion, My associates through life havo been many and various. I have hobnobbed with " noblemen, gentlemen of property, heirs to entailed estates, officers on full fap, and other responsible parties :" and have fraternized with grooms, game keepers, jockeys, trainers, and touts. Nay, on one occasion, being belated in a heavy snow-storm at the Bald-faced Stag at Finchley, I so won the heart of an inebriated hearse-driver returning from Finchley Cemetery, that with a blind confidence, born of our host's good rum, he thrust whip and reinB into my astonished hands, and climbing into the receptacle but recently vacated by his " fare," prayed me to pilot his sombre chariot home. Which, first stipulating for a temporary exchange of hats and cloaks, I did, to the admiration of all Camden Town the mutes attendant on the sad cortege following, appropriately speechlessly drunk, in a tour-wheeler. But of all the strange companions into whose society I have over been thrown by a perverse fate, or whose companion- snip a nave sought from what my friends are pleased to denominate " a taste for low lite (no idea could be more errone- ous ; I only thirst for knowledge), the person whom I am going to tell you aooui was, par excellence, the strangest ana tne most inscrutable. 1 am coin: to tell you a tale without a hero. Its " leading gentleman" (if such a term be applicable! is alluded to in my title un der " the first person singular, nomina tive case me (Mr. bqueers is my uu thority for this grammar) ; and the iden- tity of myself moi qui vous parte is merged in the endearing epithet of " my pal." This is rather perplexing ; but as tne wooie title forms an expression which constantly fell from the revered lips of -tin wnen, in tne intervals or protes sional discipline, he had occasion to al lude to the unworthy narrator, I have chosen to preserve it in its entirety, in memory oi tne most extraordinary man i ever met. His name was Jonas Baxter, aud he was the most intrepid, desperate, and skillful burglar that ever laughed at bcotland Yard, or goaded the New York ponoe to anger by his sublime indiffer ence to the terrors of the Tombs. At the time of which I write (very recently), he had long been an absentee iroin iiUglaud, having "quittted his country for his country's good," and ar rived in New York tia Australia, after Holding a temporary position under Her juajesty s government in that colony "When my story opens, Mr. Baxter ap pears before the publio as a filibuster. having (with a view to insular depreda tions; volunteered to aid the oppressed m redeeming tne " ever-laithlul isle from the stigma of slavery; and the writer, tired of doing nothing, had also ttiKeu service under the "Lane btar' Hag, and was appointed second in com wiaud of the expedition which had the honor of numbering that true patriot, Mr. Baxter, in its ranks; I was ignorant, however, of the great ness thrust upon me by his enrollment ln ,mv command until the day after we .had loft New York, when I had reason very heartily to be thankful for his en listment. The rank and file of the expedition were, as may be supposed, a "highly mixed-up lot Cubans, Swedes, Ger mans, Irish, Danes, Irish-Americans, Yankees, a very few English, and no Scotch. Of these the most unruly and thor oughly brutal were the Irish-Americans, the sweepings of New York, the very scum of the Bowery. .One of these fel lows was standing, half-drunk, under the break of the poop, indulging in a string of such meaningless and awfully blasphemous oaths as can only be heard in the " down-town" spirit stores of New York or Chicago. I could notice the intense annoyance, almost terror, of the commandant s wife (a Cuban lady), who was on the poop, unable to escape be yond ear-shot, and I accordingly ordered the ruffian to go forward. Excited by wnisKey, lie turned on me, and strewed sucn flowers of speeob, in Bowery argot, on my head, that, lax as our discipline witn tne men was, 1 was bound to pun ish him, and I accordingly ordered him to be confined. Immediately drawing his formidable knife, the rascal (as the Yankees say) "went for me." I was standing on the after-hatch quite un armed, having left my sword and pistols in the cuddy ; and, providentially, as he hurled himself on to me, his foot tripped on the combings of the hatchway, and he fell almost at my feet, the murderous weapon aimed at my breast just grazing my tnign. lie was up again in an in stant, with arm uplifted for a second and more fatal stab, when n crack like the smash of a carriage panel was heard, and Private Felix O'Gorman dropped with a fractured skull on the deck before a blow from a handspike, wielded by Mr. Jonas Baxter, burglar and Cuban patriot. There was no mistaking the man s nationality for a moment, even before he spoke. Such cordurovs I may I adopt the vernacular, and say "kick sees!'") were never made out of Whitechapel; and when he said, in a drawling, quiet tone so common to his kind, that he'd be blessed if he d see the captain bested by a Fenian, my memory flew back over the Atlantic ; 1 was again in lie' gent street at 4 r. sr. on a sunny after noon in May, and the persuasive chant or "Buy a little dawg, captain r once more rang in my ears. Scoundrel though the man might be, lie was an English man, and lie Had saved my lite ; and my heart positively warmed to him as I gave his hand a grip that made the big knuckles crack, and swore that I d stand by him to the end of the war. At my request, Colonel D'Olivarez made the expatriated " cracksman " sergeant an accession of rank with which he was hugely pleased, entering on the duties with all the glee of a child who acquires a toy drum, and rendering mine much less irksome by the whole some awe he inspired among his luckless subordinates, who feared us much as they hatei him. Do not think, how ever, that Mr. Baxter had any intention of following soldiering as a profession. He held the calling ot arms in the most unqualified contempt, and did not scru pie to enlighten me as to his roal inten- tions. (In explanation of the apparently undue tamiuarity with which my " dash ing white sergeant " treated me. I should here mention that we had been advised to use no more authority than was neces sary for the suppression of mutiny while on board ship over men who were used to no sort of control, and who valued human life at its lowest possible cost. There they were, probably food for Yel low Jack or Spanish bullets, and thev knew it ; and while prepared, ruffians as some of them were, to fulfill their part of the contract, and " fight till hell froze, and then fight on the ice," would have mutinied to a man had we worried them too much on the voyage.) Mr. Jonas Baxter, therefore, was good enough to express his approval of my being an Englishman, and to favor me with several episodes of his extremely chockered career, some of which may possibly prove amusing to my readers. In justice to this child of fortune, or ill fortune, 1 should, however, mention that with his garb and cockney accent his likeness to the stereotyped burglar ceased. His face was not that which has been rendered familiar to us in the pages of Punch as that of the gentl mian who performs the office of "the nasty man " in garroting circles. On the contrary, had Mr. Baxter been introduced into society clad in garments built in Savile Row, and been bidden to hold his tongue, no superficial observer could have dis tinguished him from the most llase fre quenter of the Burlington Arcade save by the massive squareness of his lower jaw, and the coarseness of his firm, sinewy hands. But let him speak for himself. " I saved your life, cap," quoth ho ; " and glad I am to have done it. I only wish I had had a pal like you in my business." Feeling that a uouioliinent was im plied, but being uncertain as to the branch ot commerce hitherto pursued oy my preserver, 1 made bold to ask him i. . , , , , . , . . ... m wuut ne una nirnerto devoted his ap parently inaoinitaDie energies. " Well," he replied, with a reluctance for which I could not at once account, " 1 open safes and and houses. Come with me," he added, with real zeal. " and 1 11 show you as I m no dufter." So sav. ing, he dived 'tween-decks, myself fol lowing', wnere ne opened a small brass- bound box, and disclosed to my astonished gaze a" jimmy," a small saw of exquisite workmanship, a centre-bit. and a quan tity or. otner tools, tne names ot which it would puzzle me to recollect. " These," he said, " were tho traps of poor Jim V , who was hanged emhteen vear ago at the Old Bailey. His widow, she were in Short Gardens, and I eave her 200 for the lot. D the Cubans !" he added. " In the bank at P are 6,000,000 dollars in gold. Let's fight till we get tnere, ana then let g turn up patriotism, and go straight for thebanl." "But," I said, "the cause sacred cause of Cuba, Sergeant Baxter." "Oh," said be, ' that's all played out." York, and confided to the joint execution of some four or five gentlemen ot burg larious habits among them my model sergeant but he, with true nobility of soul, had resolved to prevent the dissen sions that would probably arise from the division of the spoil by anticipating their arrival in the land ot promise, and as he expressed it, " taking tbe wholo pile." " And that," said he glancing with disgust at the tunic ho was altering to fit his burly figure, " is the reason you see me faked out in these here togs. On the same principle, I suppose, that the old Indian braves used to stimulate their children to future deeds of heroism and "hair-raising" by narrating to them the exploits of the former warriors of their tribe, Mr. Baxter sought to in crease the ardor for house-breaking with which it had pleased his fancy to invest me by toiling me ot Ins past achieve meats. " Do you remember," said he, " when the D mail was robbed of G0,000 in specie r 1 was 1 that did it. Bev- enty-four times did I travel down first class by that very train from Victoria Station before I got the chance I wanted, There were four of us in it ; and a very tew more journeys would have broke us lor what with railway lares, cigars from Pontet's, and brandy, such as Baron Rothschild drinks, at seven-and-twenty shillings a bottle, for the guard, it cost us a tidy lot before we landed. My pal he got seven years, he did, he added reflectively ; but suddenly remembering that the sinister late ot his former as sociate might have a depressing influence on my budding enthusiasm, he hastily added, " liut he was a fool be was. With Machiavehan subtlety the worthy non-commissioned officer allowed me no time to reflect whether the folly of the gentleman on whom misfortune had ful len did not primarily consist in becom ing the comrade ot so desperate and skillful a villain as himself, but plunged anew into anecdote. "'Twas I," he said proudly, who dis covered how to split the Bank of Eng land notes by placing tbem between steel plates covered with a strong cement, to which each surface ot tbe note ad' hered ; so that each half formed a per reel note, almost imperceptibly toiuner than the entire one. I should have made a fortune then." he sighed, " only, while I was passing the notes at the rate of tiuu a day, and olten more, at Tatter sail's, my partner he went and rounded on me, he did. " Did you ever commit mur That is, did you ever take human life .- asked him one day. " is ever but once, said he ; " and that was in self-defense. I had cracked a crib, alone, tip on Sixth Avenue, near the Central Park, and I was making my way down toward the river, with a basket with the swag in it ou my arm, when 1 came full-butt on to a policemen. His revolver was out in a moment, but was as quick as himself; and as his bullet whistled through my hat, mine went right through his brain. I heard afterward that he was the best shot in the force ; but on that night, his own revolver being out of order, he had bor rowed that of a brother officer, which he threw a little high, and he was not aware of it, or I shouldn't be here now telling you my adventures." in. IL No assurance on my part that mv feelings were opposed to the unlawful annexation of the Spaniards' gold could persuade Mr. Baxter to forego the pleas ure of mapping out a programme for our mutual aggrandizement. To my surprise I found that he was much bet ter posted in the geography of the island than myself : and he was also informed whether accurately or not I never had the opportunity of determining as to the strength of the garrison at P , aud the exact number of sentries who guarded his El Dorado, the bank 4 so that I found myself, under protest, pledg ed to join in one of the most gigantio gold robberies ever contemplated out of wan street, , With artles. candor Mr. Baxter inform ed me that his project had not originated in his own brain, but had been conceived by one of the largest speculators in New Thus the voyage passed away, each day leaving me more astonished at the extraordinary mixture of good and evil in this man s character. Hut tor the sacra fames I really think he might have been a respectable member ot society. He never gambled, or quarreled, or drank, and seldom ever swore : but for gold he hungered and thirsted. He used to dream of it all nicht. he told me. and by day certainly his only theme was gold and its acquisition. Ou this point I am sure he was a monomaniac. For the paper currency of the United States, he had the greatest contempt. The yellow metal itseii was his darling ; and even while conversing he would keep nervous ly twisting in his strong, sinewy fingers a great twenty-dollar gold piece, which I am sure no privations would have in duced him to change. But to the very last moment of his life for I regret to say tnat poor Mr. Baxter, as you will hear, " died in shoes" my property was sacred in his eyes. When my watch was appropriated by one of the enlighten- to patriots under my command, they had a very rough time of it betweeu-deck until my indignant sergeant recovered the missing property, but eave the un lucky thief such a practical homily on the tenth commandment as I am sure he never forgot; and when subsequently our privations rendered the men so des perute that they stole and fought for eaoh other's food, my ration always re mained intact in the watchful care of poor Jonas Baxter. l am not writing a history ot the Revo lution, so 1 will pass over all the details ot my campaigning in the island, mere ly remarking that tbe men proved amenable to no discipline, and that they fought independently, . ,as only reckless, desperate men. inured to bloodshed and the sight of death, in every form, could hght. As for Jonas Baxter, he was a host in himself. Everv day s march brought him near the goul ior wnicn ne panted, uis precions tools, I was well aware, were concealed in his knapsack; and when he pillowed his neaa upon it at nigbt. woe betide the man who should attempt to deprive him of one of those aids to boundless wealth. But, alas. " The best-laid schemes of mice and men Gang alt aglee." Mr. Baxter did reach P , and so did I: but it was as prisoners of war.' tnbnn in arms against the Spanish government, and with a pretty acute perception that scant eourtesy from our captors would be afforded us. . r. .. . ; .'.... .. We were lodged with other prisoner in a large cell in the town iaiL which occupied one side of the principal place, and from the closely barred window we could . see the very bank that had lured my poor, covetous comrade to his doom, lie was almost grand in the sublimity of bis despair. " Six million dollars in gold !" he would repeat gaz-1 ing fixedly t the fatal building Six million dollars in gold!" I thought of Napoleon at bt. Helena. But though his dearest hopes were frustrated, and all chance of escape was denied him, he oenavea who a gameness and pluck I rarely saw equaled, never surpassed. I had been wounded, and was in a verv lan guid state not improved by the thought that I had been rather a fool to get into bucq a mess ior no reason at all and to SKETCHES BY A COSMOPOLITAN. Tricks of the Trade " For ways that are dark, and tricks that are vain," Y asbington market deal ers are rather " peculiar." It may in terest larmera and fruit growers to know how their produco is manipulated by these clever operators, more especially at iDis time, when tue railroad enter prise promises to facilitate matters, so nroe.iirA nm Rome lit.tla nnrnftivl. trt? n.lt. he persistently refused to partake) this that ,R no distnn day we may be en. uaroened thiel parted with his beloved R"1, twenty-dollar piece Neither of us son- the inl posed for a moment that our lives would An(l first as to the cherry buyers, who be spared, and though I escaped (how 8(,em to be a class by themselves. They and why need not be detailed here), not nake their appearance during June and many days nad elapsed alter our arrival ulyi iurnisueo witn cpriug balance in 1' when they took poor Jonas Baxter out to be hanged. The gallows was erected in me large place on which our wmoow looked, and, led by a hor rible fascination, I drew near to it, and warn- - a the awful proceedings. Good-by, captain," said he, as they led him out ; " though I'm to swing, I'm right glad to think that you'll swing char. I played for a big stake, and I've lost; but it I could, I'd do it as-ain Just think, six million dollars in gold 1" And away he went, his irons clanking ueavuy, out ms aemeanor as unconcern ed as if ho were merely going to smoke a pipe with his friend Mr. By kes, of Tiger's nay. He died as he lived, deGnantly. His last breath was used to chaff his execu tioners and beg tbem to make haste, - as he " had an appointment, for which he did not wish to be late ;" and as the drop ieii, ana nis Douy swung slowly round, now facing his beloved bank, and now turning the swollen, blackened face to ward the jail, 1 am not ashamed to con- less that bitter teurs rolled down mv cneeKS ior tne sad late ot the poor re probate who was what crime and crim inal laws had made him. but who. under different circumstances, might have been worthy ot a better end. An Amerieun Arcadia. in tne AjUKe 01 ireten is an island on which stands the little isolated town of Hores. Of its inhabitants M. Morelet, in his "'iravels in Central America," translated by Mr: and Mrs. M. ' F, Squier, draws an engaging picture : in tne streets ot iloris there are neither shops nor artisans j there is no market even j every one depends on his own production, or on such exchanges as he may be able to make with his neigh- bora, for his food. " If any one has need cf uioney, he prepares some article of domestic consumption such as chocolate, bread, or candles, and sends his children about with them, from hut to hut, in search of a purchaser. At long inter vals some enterprising man among them takes a cow or horse to Belize, and ex changes it there lor a petty puckage of Englih goods. ' Very little suffices for a population whose only ambition is to live without labor. European activity. which unceasingly applies itself to the accumulation of woalth, could not be comprehended by the inhabitants of Peten ; but, on the other hand, they are ignorant of the infinite annoyances which follow on tho laborious formenta tion of the Old World. No one here ever thinks of speculation as a means of acquiring wealth. Destitute of ambi tion, and without strong passion 01 anv kind, the certainty of a sufficiency . for scales, lanterns, attendants, etc.. and es tablish themselves at various points in the market, and throughout the entire night they lay in wait tor game. Their men are sent out in the streets to inter cept the countrymen as they cross the u 1 iierem xerries, or drive down lrom Westchester county. Soon thev begin to arrive, and then all is bustle, contu sion ana rascality. 1 he modus optrandi is as follows : Af ter making the price as low as possible (and being all combined, and bavins- a perfect understanding, the price is about wnac tney please), they then begin to weigh. The principal takes his place at tne oesit to enter tne weights, a good op erator engaged from year to year, and who is very Bkillful in this peculiar line. commences to weigh the baskets of lus cious fruit The countrvman. intending to uo very watoniui, keeps his eye 011 the scales, but, bless your heart, he might just as well look at the back as the face, for, in the first place, the scales are "fixed" tor the purpose; and be sides that, they are carefully hung just the proper height that tbe operator, by clapping his foot under the baskets, his heel resting on the floor, and the basket resting down on his toe, so that it is made to weigh lust what thev nleaK ; and by this means, together with some wild figuring when the account is made up, why. the chorrv trade is well wnrr.h looking after; more especially as thev frequently buy up several tons in one night during the height of tho season. "Tubbing up" is a very interesting procefcs that may be witnessed any morn ing before trade is commenced ; it con sists in emptying the greater part of a barrel of potatoes, apples, onions, etc.. in a large tub, taking out the largest as they run out; then empty the tub care fully back into the barrel, and place tue large ones on the top ; by this means a barrel not nearly full will be rounded up nicely, and look quite as good as it is. When potatoes are carried to the stands from the boats or cars, where they are in bulk, the dealers seud good largo barrels, and thoy feel aggrieved if uy using small, barrels thev cannot make an extra barrel on every ten when they are sold out again. Indeed, the business is transacted for the most part in a manner peculiar to tho place. When a lot of peaches urn lauded on a stand, being covered with muslin covers, they are immediately turned upside down, and then the fruit is allowed to settle back again very care fully, and they are set down very care fully, and must not be disturbed. You see them clap a hand over the mouth of a strawberry batket (holdiner about n. handful), turn it over, and jar it slight ly, ana set it carefully down, and thus bare existence is all thev reauire tomaka them happy ; and this certainly is as- everything is topped off, loosened up. sured to them by the extent and the fer- uuu maue tue most ot. Jue good church tneir neaas, pelted them from every point, ana tne rabble finally returned it, with interest, until it became a scene of wild disorder, that would tax the pencil 01 nogartn to depict or the pen of Dick- ens to describe. The Jlnale was that we were obliged to clear the docks to sive further depredations, and that was no easy matter by any means. It was d ring Buch a season of plenty, when the market was overstocked every day, that uut in i.ua commission dealers snowed me the following bill rendered to a fru grower: : ' New Tobk, Oct., 1800. Messrs. Sold for Mr.- 150 BnsketB Peaches 15c., 4 Barrels Marion 8quashes SI, cuir.CES. Commission ou 150 baskets Peaches, " " 4 barrels Squashes, Freight and Cartage, $13 40 8 94 as 09 uaiauee uuc, l.o'J. ricse remit. It is but lust ice to the dealer to sav. however, that the shipper was but a transient customer, who would not have sent to him under other circumstances j but he confessed to having sold some of the fiuit as high as fifty cents per bask et, and from that to tho price rendered in the bill. The request for a remittance was a bit ot humor that pleased him iui mensely. A few scenes more embodied in per- nnps one suetcti, and ere we becom tiresome, wo will bid adieu to the classi locality known as the Washine-ton Mar- ket Docks, with its rude sheds, among which we have wandered, and over which we have watched so many dreary nights ; and then, reader, with your kind permission, we may betake ourselves to "other fields and pastures new." We may not even conhno ourselves to the city of hew York, but, by virtue of roving commission issued by our an cestors, may journey to other cities, to the country, perhaps to the praiiies of tne tar West, and compel them to fur- nih material for theso " sketches " bv a citizen 01 tne world, lor " No pent-un Utlea contracts our nowers. 1 ne wnoie, me nounuicss comment, is ours." L. R. T, tuny 01 tne lanus oy which they are surrounded. Possession is the only title to the soil which they recognize. Any one who clears a piece of ground, makes use of it us he pleases, aud if any dis pute arises as to its ownership, it is sjon settled by the paternal authority of the corregidor. However, there is this ad vantage in Flores, that instead of one's ear s being deafened by the discordant sounds ot tho hammer and the suerar- mill, they are filled constantly with the nurmony ot musical instruments. As soon as the sun goes down and the evenins breeze sets in, the town is full of sounds ot mirth and hilarity, which continue until the night is tar advanced. And thus life ebbs away in the midst of per fect quiet, and in utter indifference as to what the future may bring forth. The desire for novelty, improvement or change never enters into tho thoughts of the inhabitants. Every one bavins re ceived the same amount ot education, and enjoying in an equal decree the privilege ot doing nothing, the most perfect equality exists in society, which is not troubled by the pretensions of its members on the score of birth, learning or loriune. . Few days pass consecutively in Flores without the sound of the marimba inviting its inhabitants to some new fes tivity. No other form of invitation is extended. The door is open for all. The spectators assemble in groups around the entrance, looking on with democrat ic freedom, and making their comments aloud. There you see the aloalde or the corregidor alternating in the same faiu. dango with the meanest citizen. The mother succeeds the daughter, the ne gres the white woman; rank, age, caste all the conditions which else where separate society seem to ba con founded here. Persons giving parties do the honors of the house in the most unpretentious manner possible : a dozen caudles, a supply of chairs collected from a dozen neighboring houses, a few home ly ref reshments, and tho engagement of one or two performers on the marimba, constitute the entire preparations. Our notions ot delicacy occasionally receive end un bv dumpinar the balant-A off ihn oumeiuiug 01 a suocm. irom ceitain cus- aocit Dy cart loads, to get the empty tonis here, which, to say the least, are of baskets aud make room for fresh arri an extremely primitive character. The vals. This I have seen done rpniatoi1 1 17 same glass, for instance, circulates among during the height of the season : not bv tbe guests until drained, while a spoon any means worthless fruit, either, but man was asked on one occasion, " How can you reconcile your plan cf doing uuowitaj wim your proiession 01 relig ion this putting the finest fruit on tho top, and shaking them up so that the baskets and barrels may auoeur fuller than they really are f Is it not a decep tion '(" " Why, bless your simple heart, no," said he : " our customers know iust how the matter is, and would be greatly ueceiveu ana disappointed if they did not find them topped off." And when the women who sold apples and other fruit on the sidewalk by the post office and elsewhere would come flocking urouuu tne 01a "aeaoon- to replenish their stock. I have overheard them ask, " Arrah, thin, honev. tell us the thrnth. for a daceut ould man that ve arn.' " Well, Mary (all apple women are Ma- rys), they're no larger or better in the bottom than you see them on top." And that was a safe assertion for tho " deacon." One word as to the commission deal ers, bomo ot them are honest and un. right in their transactions, but a greut many are quite the reverse, being as ar- 'rant a set of knaves as can be found in any line ot trade ; and, it. one is dis posed to be dishonest, opportunity is not wanting. The usual commissions al lowed were five per cent for selling beef and hogs, one shilling each for sheen. one shilling per basket for peaches, aud for poultry, eggs, butter, cheese, and general produce and fruit, the rate was ten per cent., the consignee paying freight and cartage. However, the pro ducer was often at some remote place ; perhaps in the far West, or South ; and the dealers were, many of them at least. aufait in making out bills, so that their ten per cent, would be doubled, and in some cases trebled. When there is a glut of perishable fruit in the market (which is often tbe case with peaches), then a wide margin is offered, that dis honest commission dealers are not slow to take advantage of. Peaches may be worth one dollar a basket in the morn ing, half a dollar at noon, and before night a drug at twenty-five cents, and alternates from hand to hand, ,with the same jar of sweetmeats. Nor da thn ladies, after the fatigues of dancing, hes itate to recuperate their energies through just such as would bring a dollftr more per basnet under other circumstanoes. One night in particular. I remember that the denizens of Washington street the aid of a glass of rum. at tho sama and vicinitv vnt wind nf rl. . . J o uuiyuiuic time lighting a cigar of size and strength process, and literally swarmed the place sathoient to turn the stomach of our to get their supply; men, women and hardest smokers." children, with baskets. tm,la iit . O ' Was it at a rattle that the publio ear ? the man won aprons ; and the good natured bova that were busy clearing out not only filled their vessels, but dumped them over Going the hounds. Once in a while a paragraph or an ad vertisement appears in some out-of-the- way newspaper that somehow or other seems to tickle the American journalist. who sets it a-going in such a way that it speeony travels all over the countrv For example : Some little time since s " broken-hearted woman," as she calls herself, Mrs. Laura Hunt, of Broadalbin, Fulton county, New York, notified tho publio through the Airmterdam Intelli yencer that her aear huuband, Josiuh Hunt, had left her bed and board, and strayed to parts unknown ; and she for bid all girls, old maids, and widows to meddle with or marry him under nenaltv of the law. She earnestly entreated all editors " throughout the world " to lay this information before their readers. " Mrs. Hunt will please perceive that , .... r . . . - wo nave complied with her request. courier. Ana we (WOJ too. 1 rnnxc.ript. Ana we tnree. Utncinnati Mirror, 1 A 1 J I, rv. , ? ... Ami w iour. oianaara. " Ana we hve. Western Methodist. " And we six." Aion s jieraui. " And we seven. M.iine Free Prtst. " And we eitrht." Mobile Free Press. " And we nine." WoodstocK Whig. "Leave her bed and board, the villian I And we ten." Na tional Fugle. " And strayed to parts un known, tho vagabond I And we eleven." Daily Advertiser. "He left her bed and boa-d, the vagrum !" Statesman. "And we start him again." Miner's Journal. " Break a woman 3 heart, the fiend I Take that I" Telegraph. "Go ahead, and hunt him, Laura." Sentinel. " Pats him around, ani start him again." hcer -to- many " ibids." Editor's UiiAWER, in Harpers Magazine for April Critical Tei iod of Human Life. From the age of forty to that of sixty a man who properly regulates himself may oe considered in the prime of life. His matured strength of constitution render j him almost impervious to the at tacks ot disease, and all his functions are in the highest order. Having gone a year or two past sixty, however, he ar rives at a critical period of existence; the river of Death flows before him, and be remains at a standstill. But athwart this river is a viaduct, called The Turn of Life," which, if crossed in safety, leads to the valley "Old Age," round which tne river winds, and then flows beyond without a boat or causeway to affect its passage. The bridge is. however, con structed of fragile materials, and it de pends upron how it is trodden whether it bend or break. ; Gout, apoplexy, and other bad characters, are also in tbe vi cinity to waylay the traveller, and thrust him from the pass ; but let him gird up his loins, and provide himself with perfect composure. To quote a metaphor, the " Turn of Life" is a turn either into prolonged walk or into the grave. The system and power, having reached their utmost expansion, now be gin either to close like flowers at sunset, or break down at once. One injudicious stimulant, a single fatal excitement, may force it beyond its strength : whilst a careful suppIv ri nmt ,t,a the withdrawal of all that tends to force a plant, will sustain it in beaut and in vigor until night has nearly et in. . . . Nrrao Glycerins day morning, March 12th, seven hun dred pounds of nitro glycerine exploded in a small wooden building on th went side of the Hoosao tunnel. The buildine was of course blown to splinters. The cans, in which the glycerine was kept, .17.11-1. ,n. rnA i. - - 3 . 1 . " nfiMu uuii u raggeu Bnapes. A young growth of birch and mania via cut through for a distance of twenty rods, the path being six rods wide. The trees, three inches in diameter, were torn and twisted into withes. The vil lage of North Adams, two and a half miles distant, was shaken as if by an earthquake. No lives were lost, hut t Via explosion was terrific. SlCELIiASEOl'S HEMS. A writer in the Golden Age says that Miss Kellogg Bings " Sweet Home " at if sho lived in a hotel. -,1, ' , A clergyman in the West, seeks dama ges of a journal which published a re port of his lecture, Mind and Matter," under the head of " Wind pnd Wator.," , "Pupmatio" is' suggosted as a . pew word admirably adapted to "desoribe those individuals to whom the applica tion of " dogmatio " would be too digni fied, , , A' man ' from the country visitedall the stores in Jasper, Ind., recently, t buy a divorce. He was told they were just out of divorces, but would have a 4' . . 1 1 - 1 I - r . j .1 , ,3. $28 60 Duppiy 111 a jew uays. liichtor says! "A man takes contra diction and advice much more easily than people think, only he will not bear it when violently given, though it will be well founded. Hearts are flowers ; they remain open to the softly-falling dew, but shut up in the violent down pour of rain." 7 " You haven't got such a thing as a pair of old trowsers, have you i" ' No, my man," said the merchant; "I'don't keep my wardrobe in my counting house." " Where do you live rejoined Pat, "and I'll call in the morning ior the. ould pair you've got on." A minister once gave -a Commentary to an old Scotch lady who was well versed in the Scripture. He thought she would enjoy the explanations of her fa vorite passages. Calling on her a few days afterward, he said: "Did you like the book I gave you '" " Ay, mon, it's a gude book, and the Bible explains it amazingly." - A beggar asking alms under the name of a poor scholar, a gentleman to whom he applied himself asked him a question in Latin. The fellow, shaking his bead. said he did not understand him. "Why," said the gentleman, " did you not say you were a poor scholar Y" " Yes," re plied the other, " a poor one indeed, sir, for I do not understand one word of Latin." In one of tho pleasant villaces in Western New York, the other day. a certain worthy housekeeper thought she would can on her nearest neighbor. Khe was about entering the door, but hesi tated, thinking tbut the family might be taking their supper. , " Come in," said the hostes", " we are having tab leaux." " Yes," replied the visitor, "I thought I smelt 'em." A resident of Taunton. Massachusetts. - has obtained his ice for summer use, for : several winters past, in the following manner : rrocunng about fifty empty flour-barrels, at a cost of twenty cents each, he gradually pours in water until each contains a solid mass of ice. The barrels are then put away in his cellar and entirely covered with sawdust. As ice is required, a barrel is tapped. A negro boy who went to church was cautioned to remember the text, which was : " Why stand ye here idle 'i Go into my vineyard, and whatsoever is right I will pay thee." Tommy came home, and was asked to repeat the text. He thought it over a while, and cried out : hat d ye stand round here doiuer nuffinfor'r' Go into my barnyard and work. I'll make it all rieht with vou." The following recipe for the cure of inflamed eyes is given : " Take a potato, and after quartering it, grate the heart as fine as possible, and place the gratings between a piece of cambrio muslin. Place the poultice over the eyes in flamed, and keep it there fifteen min utes. Continue the operation three successive nights, and a perfect cure en sues." It is worth trying by those afflicted with sore eyes. It has been found by experiment that animals die in a few weeks when fed upon fine flour alone, but would live -long when fed upon the whole flour. . There is wisdom in the old-time prac tice of restricting prisoners to coarse bread, as when denied all other food. life could not otherwise ba sustained for any great leneth of time. Coamn ; bread is also necessary for the proper gmwiu uuu penuction 01 toe teeth. , In the Arctic regions, the Esouimaux and Greenlander live principally on the fat of seals, boars, and whales; by such food only are they enabled to endure he extreme cold without see minor to Buffer more than we do in our severe winters the resident of the tronica . lives chit fly on watery fruits and vege- ' tables, with very little oilv food. From this we may learn to eat more of the . oleaginous elements in winter than in . summer, in order to keep up our animal heat. A prize of ten dollars was recent.lv-. offdrred to any member of the Georgia ' Teachers' Institute who would' write ' and spell correctly the words in the fol- lowing sentence : " It is an agreeable sight to witness the unparalleled em. barrassment of a harnessed pedlar at- ' tempting to gauge the symmetry of a ' peeled onion, which a sibyl has stabbed - with a poniard regardless of the innu endoes of the lilies of . the loornelian hue." Thirty-eight teachers competed 7 for the prize, but not one was success ful. ' - ' ' A pretty good story is told of an Irish. man named Billy, who had long been , tmployed as a teamster by the occupant i a ooai wnarr in rmiadelphia. ue 1 as a fixture, and the owner thoueht he i could not get along withouk Billy., But I , as both employer aud man were the pon. seasors of more or less irascibility, frei-. .. quent were their explosions, and Billy ' was aiscnargea at least once a day; out ' though frequently discharged, he never '! went off. One day the employer, durine one of these passages, burst out 1 1, , " it I no sort of use, UUly ;, I can't . earn you anything at all, and hav"l been trying for years." . 1 ou.,;.i.a " bhure and ye nave, then, lairnt m i wan thing," said Billy. - . 1 , ( :i'tl . " What is that r"'Wa asked 1 -Iakall 1 be glad to hear of anything you have learned." " Shure, sir, yea have lairnt Til A Tliafc fifteen hundred makes a ton 1" uuiy mew too much to be spared.