N
El
,PRINTING
MEM
& SENTINEL
AND JOB,
r
OFFRJE 7
STREET, GETTYSBURG, PA.
tly added Largely to our already
Fancy Job Type,
pared to accommodate our old
ill others who may favor ua with
do the best style of the art, a
tire, and on the most reasonable
f every Dqicritption,
N EXECUTION
URPASSED
IN STYLE, AND
iIiZIMM ono
N en EA £ N ESN,
11"111I
& SEVI'INEI.,
e St., Gettysburg, Pa
LAIN
Ma
ental Printing,
,POEtTati4 to the tunalleN.
CARDEk
CIAL PRINTING
-.St'l:ll AS t
, CARDS,
C%ll, DEAFtS
ENVELOPES, .LABELS,
EMI
d: RECEIPT BOOBS,
ILLS, DODGERS, &c.,
iMgiii3
TD PAMPHLET
INTING,
rders, In as good style and at
any otllce In the country.
a trial by those, desiring
M .
EE BAnSFACTION,
k and promptness In filling
orders
L PROMPTLY AT
RD W. 4,
ETTYSBI - 111;
RMaililaDlA
ADVERTISING ,ME
7E78 COUNTY.
••• I. complies the
etsitatudty. It circulates
• tie fanners, and to read.
lie lerpet eimulation
Collates.
PUBLISHER irsullior isessimu
' • -
BUEI-4L—ER ofk.. CO.,
Minorca. Imposers Cburt-house asidDiamend.
OgUri. burr ,
TEEMS OF 113111.10A110:4
STAR AND SINTINIL is published Mr/ Fri
day mortdnig, MOM spur In advance or $2,80
not paid withinthe year. No sitbseriptions dis
continued until all arrearages are paid, finless at
~h e option of the publishers.
AD'
us Wetted at reasonable
rates. A tibetaltaduetion ant be made ta persons
+ advertising by the qaarter, ball year, or year.—
Special notices will be Inaerthej at special rates, to
be agreed upon.
Jar The circulation of the &ran. A.N I> &ENTIRE&
is one hall Larger than that ever attained by any
newspaper In Adams county: and, ass an adver
tising medium, it 'cannot, be excelled.
Jos WORIC of all Minis will be prompt!) execu
ted and at fair rates. Sand-bills, Masks, Cards,
Pamphlets, isx, l in every variety and style, will be
• printed at sbiort notice. TOM CAM.
grofiessional &rds, ift,c.,
J maw C zoom,
Armes oi..THE PNACE,
Collector of Book Amounts, Prmory Notes,
Judgment Notea, No= Stc., and prompt re,
turns made.. Also writing Deeds,
Mortgages, Juilits, NotitAgreements, Sm.
New Oxford Adams county, Pa.
Dec. 9,1870.-3 m•
eCLEAN ac MOODS.
..Ivl ATTOENEYs AT LAW
Girrnasrac, PL
Orima—On Baltimore Street, same heretofore
occupied by the late Arid of M. & W. McClean.
Nov. 18, 18.10.—tt
jIiCI W.
LAUTH,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Colleetions,and all legal business promptly at
tended to.
Moe on Baltimore street, south of the Court
h
June 18,1869—ti
MeCONAIUGHT,
. ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Office one door west of Busman's Drug Store,
Chambersburg street
Special attention given to Sults, Collections and
settlement of Estates. All legal business, and
• claims to Pensions, Bounty Back-pay, and Dam
ages against U. States, at a ll times promptly and
efficiently attended to.
Land warrants located, and choice Farms for
ale in loligsand other western States.
June IS, Ifo—tf
_
1. J. icovErt,,
1. ATTORNEY AT LAW,
prOmptly attend to collections and all other
Business trusted to his care.
Office between Fahnestocks' and Danner &
Ziegler's stores, Baltimore street, Gettysburg. l's.
Ifty 19, 1861—ti
DAVID A. nuzuvk
e
ATTOnNEY AT LAW,
Will promptly attend to collections awl all other
dosiness entrusted to hls care.,
Unice at his residence in the three-story build
% ag opposite , the Court-hOuse.
-Hay 29, 11167—t1
D AVED t ILLS,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
4 oltiee at ids residence in the South-east corner of
.Uentre Square.
-May 29, 1867—t1
u: 11. S. nupsz
• _
South-east corner of Chambersburg and Washing
ituu streets, t i =te Cot.. TAM'S ELOLI iiOTIJ-
June 1.1, 1
Jr . J. W. C. W.INSAL
.Has hi: crilkie at his residence in Baltimore street,
wo doom
Bti7 vethe Compiler ()Mee.
M11.2%.,1
.L. MILL, N. D.,
DEN ILST
kiAllre eikkinbersburg street, nearly opposite
the EAGLE Ham. Gettysburg, la.
q Having been.la constant practice over 20
years patients can be assured of good work.
.1 uly 9, 1067—U
.;11R. J. E. BERILSTILEASER D ,
, ENTLST.
liming located in Gettysburg, offers his services
.to the public. Ottice in the old - 6tntiner' office,
'. E. corner, Centre Square, where he will be pre
pared toattend to any case within the province
of the Dentist. Persons in want of full or partial
sets of teeth are invited to call. Terms reasona
ble.. July 90, 1869—G
*sift And gtotaurauts.
Eil,qlLE HOTEL.
The largest and most ecouunodlous In
GETTYSBURG, PA.,
ofr vtomberetnerg and Washington SU
JOHN 'L TATE, Proprietor.
sir Au Omnibus for Passengers and Baggage
ruin to the Depot, on arrival and departure of
Railroad Trains. Caret al servants and reason
able charger.
KEYSTONE HOTEL,
GETTYSBLRG, PA.
WM, E. MYERS, Proprietor.
NOW O-P E\.
frifiS is a new House, and has been fit.-
ted up'in the most approved style. Its le.ea
• tiou4 ; pleasant and convenient, being in the most
business -portion of the town. Every arrange
ment has teen maiin for the accommodation and
• comfort, of guests, with ample stabling attached.
With experienced servants, and accommodating
Clerks, we shall use every endeavor to please.—
This Hotel now open for the entertainment of the
public, and we kindly solicit a share of public
patronage. May ZS, 1867—kt
NEW HOTEL.
HARRIS HOUSE,
BALTIWORS 8211.111117, 011177111BU;80, PA.
T y d ava tru , i . e .
basisonle thresstory Brick on HaW
, more stood, twn 'dews tow Mace.
tiettyeimrs, Pa, antis awns
: mamma= tor tas emus
- a large spotter of
I business warrants = t lt S ii rtidesalon
I in every ease, sad be feels certain those who
:Opp with him Qum will gall manes
moderate.
Hisaable will always be supplied with the beet
: the and Mamma markets at.
I toed. NM have the choicest may
olaw,
Assam. aka, .
He also has male Mana us. with s. good Host
ler in Aliait i ejl e o publie w ill is aspe
Infrit nu eltirt will be swot to de_
serve it u A RR&
April 15, vat -tt
"UNION HOTEL,
[POE]WILT THIS
YORK SPRINGS, ...°Z,IPV•4'
`li ' • '
I HE undersigned has leamedg m ht itt.
.1 ed and popular Hotel, in
:springs Boroup.) The Hegel -
ted in the most badness part of the town. •
table will be supplied with the beg that the gm
ket can afford and the Bar with the choicest
Liquors. There is abo excellent Stabling, with
attentive hostile ra‘ This Hotel is the office of the
Gettysburg and Mechanicsburg Stage Line, also
the York Sprit s add New Oxford line. The
turner arrives - here at 1 P. H. on Mowdays,
Wednesdays and Fridays, from Mechanicsburg
for tiettystrurg; returning at 10 A. H. TUN
days, Thursdays and isaturdaye. The York
Sprinp line leaves the Betel dairy at 6 A. N., for
New Oxford, returning at 4P. M. He feet mitts.
tied that his long experience In business will ena•
ble him to let none seaway dissatimed, who may
:patronize hlm. tMarges moderate. Boarders
taken by the Weekos i mmuffile tams.
E. Nov. I . l Blfffit, Proprietor.
York Springs, Nov. 4, 11M1-11
thatagallik
I'IPTON 8i MYERS'
EXCELSIOR GALLERIES
GETTYSBURG, PA.,
Make ail styles of Pictures It istriattue to life
size, including the
"REMEMBUNDTS"
OR SHADOW PIC7.THMS.
Photogrsphs Fininhed in OH,
WATER COLORS. OIL INDIA INK
Views of the Battle-field !
PEND SOK COOL
/1 --
=K
= " ni t i
41114,1 gni Mad.
- monaisit. •
Doe. 7, 11170.r1f,,
VOL. LXXI. O. 5.
NISIUSS MVO.
PRIME OYSTERS tFahriestook Y Brother&
JOHN GRUEL,
Chambersburg at., Getttysburg, Pa., next
door to Eagle Hotel,
Has always on hand the very
B EST OYSTERS.
which can be commanded in the market, which
will be served up In any style desired. He has
special accommodations for LADLES AND
GENTLEMEN. Give him a call.
air Also always on hand a large assortment
of Confections, Cakes, Fruits, Almonds, Raisins,
Figs, Toys, &c. Nov. 4, 1870.—tf
MENEM
E W BUSINESS.
Upholstering & Trimming.
Ta AS opened an establishment opposite Wen
er's Livery Stables, on ash
street, for
covering
SOFAS, CHAIRS, MAI TRESSES, AND
_UP-
HOLSTERING IN ALL ITS
Re also continues his old bu4fness of Trimming
Buggies, Carriages, &e., and'splicits from the
their paimmage. Charges moderate.
Dec. 11-41
BLACKSMITHING.
B. G. I[OLLEBAUGH
H AS °mood a Blacksmith Shop on Washin
street, next door to Chritznian's Carpenter BLop,
and is prepared to do all kinds of BLACKSMITH-
LING, at reosouable rates, and invites a share of
public patronage.
REPAIRING of all kinds. hire la a
MI
April 30, 1569-11
COOPERING.
PETER CULP
C(i()PE RI ESS
In all its branches at his residence on the Mitigates
burg road, at the end. of Carlisle street Gettys
burg, Pa. The public can always have made to
order all kinds and styles of
MEAT VESSELB,
(TOUT STANDS.
TUBS,
FLOUR BARKELS.
I also manufacture 5 and 10ge c t ope Cider
Barrels. And all oiler kinds 4: 1 Re-
L
pairing done cheaply and with despatch.
IRe--t f ive us
a cal (Au g, patch
GRANITE YARD,
GETTYSBURG, PA.,
ON RAILROAD, NEAR FREIGHT DEPOT
PETER BEITLER
Is 'mewed to furnish GRANITE, tot all kinds o
BUILDING AND MONUMENTAL PURPOSES,
at reasonable Wee-,
Curbing, Sills, Steps,
ASHLERS, POSTS, MONIIMENTS, CEM
ETERY BLOCKS, Ike,
cut and finished In every style 4e4red. I, best of
workmen.
airOrderstrom a distance promptly attended to,
June 3—tf
REMOVAL! REMOVAL!
ROBERT D. AIMOR,
Gag Fitter, Plumber and Bell
Hanger,
[ Iday Id77.—tt
Can be found at bla reeidence on corner of 'Mast
Middle and Stratton atzente,
GETTYSBURG, PA.,
Will ProgintlyMOW to all orders in Ws line=
Work done in the moot as tilLtio a n atanner, and
at prices as low as can possiblir risotto mike
GAS PIPE
tt ... z.evi v ,v imm o r k ii.kit op t=
FmpigoL‘spd_ ,inacm,evoythkir .
to pa or wate r um.
Bens bung, awl furnished if desired. Locks of
all kinds repaired, [AOMI29, :14,-tr
GETTYSBURG BAKERY,
rrif.F. Arm of Nemport_j Ziegler twin bees
dissolved, the undersipied will continue tAe
Betting Maims, In Al lie branches, AS the om
etwel.
Corner of South Wasbuliton atul West Middle
streets, Gettysburg, Pal i ' .
•
• All kinds of
CUM:W.IOth
OARES
UREAD
ROLLS,
MEMEL% ac..
constantly baked and Jways rd.,* bad hush.
With many years emerleaceshnd sierr • -
lion to please, he feels that be eon p -
Laction in all cases. Orders solicited, sad
attended to. With many thanks for the •
bestowed on the old arm its continuance is as 't`•
April 9,1869-ti SALTERS NEWPORT.
STEAM SAW MM.
'VHS undersigned has in operation a STEAM
1 SAW MILL, at the 'WM& Mountain, near
Graeffeaburg Springs, and is prepared t 0 saw to
ceder bills of
Whit* Oak, Vise, Hanalwaik,
mo nny kind of Timber desired, at the ebortes no.
uos en o d a low rates. He also manufactures
Siting log, Palling &c.
14 if 3.4 R *.
*efeceeaciot attire UMW
de, -omit deducted forthecalhfig
3 per , • from the thus of d
or lute, for Digarlior4 hs
ery et A. -!, feethe
would deal. ~'r j ,to him at Greet,
All letters "
fenburg P. 0..0 r
• •
Oct. V, 1130—tt
GUNSMIT Y I,IING
RATTLE-FIELD RE:41041
Canes, Shells, Ballet I
E. WOODWARD
Would Ball **attenoa Us
=oe pu
eeelks rebus's ea
au el yeri s i isi "et wrivesess sad
oi's pu: se esitisar
" 2 "(NoWs,tr atintarVi
Tagar ma ilkasabial babe bait a,
medlosa la *When Paaarrivadia
WILLIAM E. CULP
BRANCHEI-'
liar commenced the
EMMT=
1141.4100114, iptimuit at.
FALL & WINTER.
GOODS.
Dry Goodt, Hardware,
QIIEENSWARE, CARPET,
Groceries, Cedarware,
-IRON, PATNT§, &e.
PUBS are cheap this season
DRESS GOODS—all the new styles and In every
variety
COLLARS, HANDKERCHIEFS and IiEEDLF—
WORK—the largest stork ever In town
at Fahaestock's.
SHAWLS of all kinds and prices
at Fabric Flock '
CHRISTMAS GOODS
CLOTHS, CASSLUrItti, tateglstyle
at Fahnegtock's.
CALlCO—test at.,12% cents
W STEN-PROOF CLOTIE from MOO yard rip
at Fateatok's.
RIBBONS luid DES TRIMMINGS
at Pahaeatock's.
GLOVES in large assortment
at Fahnestoek's.
Nov. 18,1876-it
.T. L. sCILICK,
ha the Largest and Brit Selected Stock of
DRY GOODS
ECM
NOTIONS,
bat hi beat brought to Gettysbnrg this Spring
which will be sold at, the owest possible rates. .
Siny 6. 1810-41
NEW FIRM.
REBVAT & BUSHMAN .
Dry Gam, Carjett, Glum, &c
riIHE drill at Behest & Elliott_ Is_Mg_. been dis
k solved, it ls succeeded by WIWI' & BUSH
MAN, who will continue the Mercantile bushiess
at We old iMaM, on IjoUtlisswa street.OPPolffeihe
UoW-house, G .yaherff,. The ur i i*lt n u partner
bee Attlee+) WAR en exp Zed in the
store or .1 L. Week, rdare p to his
new position an Mato th.O b. &mess P
st:seed by few.
eir iVec w ik e rw offered owing to la d ri=ma
.0 toile (Vara eta and eittuig
allse - fttiit i rge, their wttri e tetelYs=
tory._ The Bulucements they offer cannot be m
edics la Um of #or poupty. They make a Spe
*AY tl
4 , 4-PMEY PRP B GOODS,
W l ' via titiaMa aa gra 47/gon
up 6
POE GEWLEMMti WEAR,
they otter a lame lad Tided atOolt, alat fewl ear.
tame that an wto arse main salted la goods and
UNA" . 8 c lvans OM
ft. U r i%
1 41. Tr0 La yrrirti, with the bat
twos &
pewees wUt be dais to render pet
tstaatioe. lam
, earn a Mewl shun of PoDuo
Talmage which they
AY
li( I Va
(ov. Z. Iltrlt-tt J .
NNW "
Fall and Winter Goods
AT GRIEST & BOWERS,
York Spriop, Po.
XOTTO—"Qulek Bake. Oman Web and Quick
iberehe"
;. .‘ ~. :, oZ tretmlled from
the (Ulnae of
. i. 4 • r,• • of , I 10.0 dig,
• ' , L . : ..,L -'- : o ' ' V; : i7f 7 . -- . - '
''
.. -1:
... --... that -_ • , better bar
= '.. Al o gestlikalletaerneall!
m i k bt
ilir • • , • lot cir ready- OVEB;-
",44, be . '', -„ came for 'Malty,
.i •
= .la4d uanot 44 . : ~ 1 . . .!', ' ~. '-'9 I
e -: it BOWERS.
Oat. 25, 103.—tt • ,
L
NEW FIRM.
Aiwpoßin.b,ig
TOWelsterel 4
tioU
fir".
nry og#lB, :anwories
mordinow amemsimemb .
snot „It Pam.•4ll.e.
market vim I , — H a t — _ e a saa
illargoVitLlito desibere.
our • oine.'
k s t - COVER,
A -4 13P.KRGEE-
Arendt:llTß%.
Baltimore - Lock -Hospital.
Physician of this celebrateil Institution, has-dis
covered the most Certain. *may,. Pleasant and
Effectual Remedy in the World,for ail 4
DISEASES OF IMPRUDENCE,
Weakness of the Back, or Limbs, Strictures, Al
fecUons of the Kidneys, or Bladder Involuntary
Discharges Impotency, General Debility, Ner
vousnass,DPPlrdsli Languor, he art. Writ os
in/11011ot Mese, alp Cation of the Timidity,
Trembling, Dimness of Sight, or Giddiness, Di
sease oftO Head, Throat Nose or Skin, Affec
tions of. the Liver, Lungs Stomach or Bowels—
those terrible disorders arising from Solitary Hab
its of Youth--eacsar and solitary Practices, more
fatal to their victims . than theso of the wrens
to the Mariners of Ulysses, blighting ngs their most
brilliant hopes, or anticipations, rendering mar
riage, &c., impassible.
YOUNG MEN
especially, who have become the Victims of Solt-
tars Vice, that dreadful sad destructive habit
which annually sweeps to an untimelygrave
thousands of oung men of the most exalted tal
opts and Nill ient Intellect, who might otherwhie
have entranced listening Senates with the thund
ers of eloquence-. or waked to ,ecstacy the living
lyre, may call with full confidence.
Married persons, or Young Men contemplating
suaniage, aware of Physical Weakness (Loss of
Procreative Power—lmpotency.) Nervous hat. cita
bill ty, Palpitation, Organic Weakness, Nervous
Debility, or any other disqualification, speedily
relieved.
at Falmet4tock'a
He rriro i rlaces himself under the care of Dr. J.
may religiously confide In his honor as a gentle
man, an confidentially rely upon his skill as a
physician. •
ORGANIC WRAII3.IESS,
/MPG TENCI*. LOSS OF POWER,
at Fabtestock's.
Immediately Cured, and Full Vigor Restored.
This distressing affection—which renders life
miserable and marriage impossible—is the penalty
paid by the victims of improper indulgences.—
Young persons are too apt tor commit excesses
from not beingaware of the dreadful consequen
ces that may ensue. Now, who that understands
the subject will pretend to deny, that the power of
procreation is lost sooner by those falling into lin
proper habits, than by the prudent t Betide being
deprived of the pleasures of healthy offspring, the
most serious and destructive symptoms of both
body and mind arise. The system becomes de
ranged, the Physical and Mental Functions Weak
ened, Loss of Procreative I'ower, Nervous Irrita
bility, Dyspepsia, Palpitation of the Heart, Indi
nion, Constitutional Debility, and Wasting of
Frame, Cough. Consumption, Decay and
Death.
A CURS WARRANTED IN TWO DAYS.
Relief in Six Hours No Mercury
at I+atsumtpck•s.
Persons Ruinedby Ignorant, Trilling Pretenders,
and their Deadly Poisons, should apply •
Immediately.
Dlt. JOII18TON,•
rildiestudes.
Member of the Royal College of Surgeons, Lou
don. eraduate of one of the most eminent Col
leges in the United Wales. and the greater part of
whose life has been spent In the Hospitals of Lon
don, Parls,Philadelphla and elsewhere, has effect
ed sonic of the moa astonishlagetres that were
ever known; many troubled with ringing in the
bead and ears when asleep, great nervousness,
being alarmed at sudden sounds, bashf with
derangement of mind, were cured immediately.
TAKE PARTICTLAR,NMICE.
Dr. J. addresses all those who have injured
themselves by improper indulgenceb and solitary
habits. which ruin both body and mind, unfitting
them fur either business. study, society or mar
liafiisse are some of the sad and melancholy
effects produced by the early habits of youth, viz:
Weakness of the Back and Limbs, Pains In the
Dead, Dmness of Sight.. Loss of Muscular Power,
Palpitat i on of Mel - least Dyspepsia Nervous Irri
tability, Derangementof the Digestive Functions,
General Synintoms of • nsumptiom &e.
lazzrrala.v.—The fearful effects of the Blind are
much to be dreaded. Loss of Memory, Confusion
of Ideas. Depression of Spirits, Evil Fore
Aversion to Society, Self-Distrust, Love=
tude, Timidity, &c., are some of the evils pro
duced.
. .
Thousands of persons of all ages can now Judge
what is the cause of their declining health, losing
their vigor, becoming weak, pale, nervous and
emleated, having a singular aparance about the
eyes, cough and symptoms of Consumption.
who have injured themselves by a certain prac
tice, indulged in when alone, a habit frequently
learned from evil companions or at school, the
effectaof which are nightly felt, even when asleep,
and if not cured, renders marriage Impossible,
and destroys both mind and body, should apply
immedlatee t:
What a ty that a young man, the hope of his
country, pride of his parents, should be
snatched from all prospects and employments of
Life, by tbe coequence of deviating
secret;frohe path
of nature, and indulging In a certain habit.
Such persons must, before contemplating
reflect that &sound mind and body are the must
necessary requisites W promote connubial happi
ness. Indeed, without these, the Journey through
We becomes a weary pilgrimage, the = a t
hourly darkens to the view the mind
shadowed to despair, and fil led ith the melan
choly reflection that the happiness of another is
blighted with our own.
When the misguided and imprudent votary of
pleasure finds that he has imbibed the se ed s of
this painful disease it too often happens that an
111-timed sense of shame or dread of discovery de
ters him from applying to those a ho. from educa
tion and respectability, can alone befrieud him,
delaying till the constitutional symptoms of this
horrid disease makes their appearance, surh as
rated sore throat, diseased nose. noctpthal
s pans In the head and limbs, dimness of sight,
eatness, nodes on the shin bones and arms,
blotches on the head, face and extremities, pro
gressing with frightful rapidity, till at last the pal
ate of the mouth or the bones of the nose fall in,
and the victim of this awful disease becomes a
horrid object of eommiSeration till death puts a
rind to his dreadful sufferings. by sending him
it .
fi o y lied, counig,. - from 'iN hepfe 40 .
ettirt .
It is ame ly fact. that thou,sault DIE vic
tims to this bre diseaM, through !ling into
the hands of Jgnorant or Unskillful PRETEND
ERS, who by the use of that deadly Poison, Mer
cury. &e.. destroy ;he constitution, and incapable
of curing, keep the unhappy sufferer mouth after
month taking their noxious or injurious com
phi:lnds, and Instead of being restored tb a renew
al of Life, Vigor and happiness, In despair leave
hint with ruined Health, to sign over his galling
dLsappointaegt.
To such; therefore, Dr JOirorros pledges him
self to preserve the most Invio4ble Secrecy, and
from his extensive practice and observathms n
the great Roof-tale of gurgle, and the flre i t t i:
this country, viz: England, Mnce; Philadel
and elsewhere; is enabled tooffer the moat Speedy,
Certain and Effectual Remedy in the World for 01
diseases of imprudenee.
DR. JOHNSTON,
OFFIC,F.7. 7 SOUTH FREDERICK" STREET,
11.s.Vmdoag, ?dn.,
left band side going irOM 11444134 strca., few
doors from the writer. Fa! not td dirsehe the
name and number.
..No letters received unless postpaid and con
taining a stamp to be used on the reply. Persons
writing should state age, and send a portion of ad
vertisement describing symptoms.
There are so many Paltry, Designihg arid Worth
less' Ittipostiaq advertising themselves as Physi
cians, titling lthaya ruining the health of all
who unfortunate y f nto their power, that Dr.
Johnston deems it necessary to say especially to
those unacquainted with his reputation, that his
Credentials or Diplomas alwayshang in his office.
ENDORSEMENT OF THE PRESS
The many thousands cured at this establish
ent, after year and the numerous Surginal
(
normal b Dr. Johnston witnessed
by ' p.s the press and Many other
&ons. notices • Iv et 140
agitin hedOrnitte Du Ile, besidft ..ih rOVA
as 11, ionitkalan us littaratter an 4 raapopal ty,
a att=eat guarantee to the Meted,
SIMI DISEASES SPEEDILY CURED.
March 1870-Iylpr
dyer's Cathartic Pills,
Fag *1.4, THE PUPOSEB OF A
LAXATIVE MEDICINS
•
Perham no one medicine is so universally re
quired by everybody as a cathartic, nor WS ever
fieryanrtiefore so universa adopted Into use,• in
eMmtry and smong ll _ y all chose% as this mUd
but_ cadent, purgative rut. The ()bylaw
_reason .
.Is, that it IS more reliable and far moreWeettud
remedy than any other:- Thom who have tried it,
nlinw . tbatlt' OUVL these who liave not,
know kno w that
and all7mMi r esi g g clr itce
—that it never falls through any fault or
of its composition. We have thousands
•- soon
thousands of certificates of their remarka ble
einel of the following complaints, but ewes
are known In every neighborhood. and iwe need
non publish them. Adapted to all agek And eon
din Inalledimates ; containing neither calomel
.or any deleterious drug, they may be taken with
byanybody. Their sups costing Preserves
sitethind makes thempleasant totake,
a g e 11 ? 4,, upn can mile
frkperateliy - WenEW4ful inflo an iff u ta
sheets to purity the bibod
li the isno itomm lumn i atVt=m o 4 o VrE c ol
the body, mitering intgular acUon
and by correcting, wherever they exiatonen de
,••• -• ; • asarethe.drst origin of disease.
" • - directions are given in the nimer on
r I ' CKerainit these
• w '; ';i ' • • •
1:. r t 4.. • is iist ip at s erlide i4
n moUndlly to undo
restore Ilanikanap-SOW •
For 1 • CommArandifgMaltell'
c l iV • •.• • • and - Wits
• • 3 , ni:or emelt
Fi ns= • •• • • Onion or rennntethe
fiihrteAtism___LL lamp ••••
bur w-r pc ,lpli t aldlites, but one Old
dose is= u lt ilm nittned-
Fur • Gm, OnAvin.,PaLlTrATlOir
./tigAr , ? Pk' 8 1 11 S RAC/ and
A. itiinirlettiatogit.
GETTYSBURG, PA., FRIDAY, DECEM 31 - 1, -23. 1870.
Vitthel.
DR. JORJUTON,
MARRIAGE.
YOUNG UEN
MAERIAGE.
DISEASE OF IIdiTUDENCE.
. -
i - ) ) 1
..
1i
i /1111 ~ I ..I t
\ . tT,N ~ \
eirrvinure iminaness DIRECTORY.
(Sce Adverttiements.)
♦rroaxsir AT L.A.W
R. G. McCreary, York street', lu residence.
1). McConatighy, snb Orsberg st., residence
J. M. Krauth, Baltimore st., second square.
D. Wills, on Public Square, in residency,
A. J. Oover, et., pear Fahaestpocks' store.
D. A. Buehler, Baltimore street, in residence.
McClean& Woods, Baltimore st., near diamond.
sixsas
Baltzer Nesspyrt,cor, Washington and Middle sts
BOOTS AND sHpEIiAREIts.
D. D. KlNgeL.Baltimore Itreet, seficel Rquare
BLACIM2MI/! ,1 0.
u. Hollebaugh. Washington street
BUMMLESO
Stover & MUle, Ctuunberaburg street
coiiiscrioxs, roye, ac.
John Gruel, Ctuunberabarg st., near Eaglr Hot el
AND CONTRACTORS.
Wm. C. enuninalth & Son, York st., first square.
Geo. C. Ca.qhman, Stratton street. nearlianrond
caggLiatits,
Banger 4; Ziegler, Middle street, net x Baltimore
W. K. Gallagher, East Middle st., second :quire.
Weaver It Co., Washington st.
CIAYrRom.
R. C. Cobean & Cunnin..oam, Baltimore street.
F. CunnlnAtam, Chamberaburg St.. first Square.
T. C. N South west corner of Diamond.
Samuel Wol , corner of York and Public Squn re.
Picking & Co., Chambersburg street, first .plare
430.41, LCXBral, LINE.: 41C
C. IL Buehler, corner of Carlisle and Rsllroak sts
Cashman & threrdeer, cor. Stratton tine R. B. sts.
COOPERS.
Peter Cutp, Union street, in resideum
EMMISI
J. E. Berkstrkstresser, S. E eor. Centre square.
J. L Hill. Chambersb'g st.. opposite Eagle Ho n.l
DFICGOISTS.
A. I). Ifuehler, Chatobersburg street, tir.t ~itutre
Hubers, Baltimore street, first square.
B. Horner, CLiambersburg street, first sq tut re.
DliT GOODS.
Fahriestock Brothers, cor. of Balt. & Middle sts
J. L. fichlek, cor, of Baltimore & Publle square
Reber% & Elliott, Balt. st.. opposite Courtieutee
FORWARDING AND C0.11X113910N notnE.,.
Blithani & Co., cor. of Washington and Rallroa,l
Jobs Cress, corner fitrallou and Railroad.
Jos. Wihin & Son, cur. a,hiugton and Italli( , ad
Robert McCurdy, Carlisle titreet.
GRANITE Y 11D
Peter Beltler, Railroad, Ea.,t of Stratt"o r• .1
GAS
B. D. Armor, Ettst Middle street
GISOC YJUSS.
Wm. Boyer &Son, York st., opposite at. Bank
Wm. J. Martin. cor. of Italtimore and Iligh sts.
J. M. Walter, York street, first square.
Fahne,stock Brothers. cor. Brat. and While sts.
Bigham & Co.. cur. Washington & Railroad sts.
H. IL Bearuer, cor. dituliond and Carlisle street.
SWeitzer & Bro., Carlisle street, second square.
RAILER! RE Atil) CUTLERY.
Dazuer & Ziegler, Baltimore street, first mto.tre
Falutestock Brothers, cur.Baittruore &111thile.,ts
liweitzer & Bro.. CarUsle street, secoutl square.
namizee,
D. McCreary& Sun. Baltimore street.
John Culp, Carlisle Street, near pasbenger ,lepot
HATS, CAPE, SHOW, &c
Samuel Wolf, cor. York at., and Public Square.
T. C. Norris, South West corner of Diamond.
IL C. Cobean & Cunningham, Baltimore street.
Picking & Co., Chambersburg street, first square
IMEMI
Eagle Hotel. J. 1.. Tate, propriflor. e.irner
bersbarg and Washington.
Keystone . Home. Wm. .E. Myers. proprietor.
Uhambersburg street, opposite Christ's Church.
Harris House, Win. V. liarrts, Baltimore street,
second square.
LIVERY bTABLES.
Weaver 6: Co., Washington street. rnn th o
Chambaraburg.
MARBLE TAUD3,
Wm. N. Miller, eor. Baltimore and Middle sig.
Meals & Brother, lork street, east of Stratton.
PIIOTOGILUIIERS
Tipton & 3Tyers, York st., opposite Nat. Bank
.1. W. C. CYfileat,ltiniore street. near High.
IL S. Iluber, cur. Chambersburg and Nt esti. sts.
Robert Horner, Cbambersborg street. first square.
mtricrtico Orr We.
Star Jc Sentinel, Baltimore street, midway be
tween the Court House and Public Square
west side.
sTovEs, &C
C. IL Buehler, corner of Carlisle and Ilailroad
EOM
J. Jambe, Chambersburg street. lirst vinare.
VIiDEIiTAYER & PAPER lIARGIR.
Jeremiah (*Wm York street. second square
I=l
Wm. E. Culp, , Washlngton st., near Eagle Hotel.
WATCHMAKER.
Wm. P. McCartney. Baltimore street. first square
A. B. Felstle, York street, first square.
surreitous.
"Rum did it all," said a man on the
gallows "and 1 . ,11 never drink another drop
as long as I lire. -
TILE youth who left Louie beeauxe his
mother would not let him wear a standing
collar, Is . now acting as corresponding
secretary to a circus.
"TRE ATTEurr,•' says an exchange,
•`to start an asylum for useless young men
has failed, as no building could be con
structed large enough."
urri..r: girl, lookin;; af, t picture of
Eve in a Boston gallery, exclaimed: "Oh,
mother; I should think that woman would
be afraid of grasshoppers!"
GRACE.—"I am going. to see Clara to-•
day have you. a ines;age?•'
CBARLOTTE.—"I wonder how you can
visit that dreadful girl, Give her my love."
Sounzu being asked if he met with
much hospitality when in Ireland, replied,
"That he was in the hospital nearly all
the time he was there."
"Mons, will you take sonic of this but
ter r' i)cloags to
the temperance society—can't take any.
thing strong," answered Digby:
Grim a small child a pack ov cards and
a spellin hook; and he will learn to play
a good game of .hi-10-jack long before he
kin spell a word of two sillables.
Oivz Pittsburg man arrested another for
'calling him a "schweinegle." Ile said he
did not mind the name so much but Wants
to know what it means.
' GPPvEe, gm now PPOP F/Pglanfl µla1 a
pocket ou the inside of the palm, to
suit the habit indulged in by" the fair sex
of carrying; money in that position. .
A conple.cif farmers in Harding county,
lowa, went to law five years ago over $25.
The suit his just ended, and both fanners
bad to sell their farms to pay the costs. ,
As Ohio widow was requested by the
dear departed's aristocratfo relatives to
give a false namb when she went out
washing so as not to disgrace the family.
StiC,h thOughtfulnes is touching.
A f47sti's fool condemned to die, was al
vwo/4 tg clic,osethi.t form of death ? and
chose old age. An loa a girl being asked
the same question, remarked that if she
must die she preferred to be smothered—
with kisses.
"Wm.!. my dear," said our good pastor,
at Sunday school, to a tow-headed ur
phhi, "I am glad to hear you are getting
to be a better boy : " "Why, sir," said
little Joe looking up with grave, earnest
ness, "gosh I ain't been sick."
ONE of the New York shoddy aris' to
crate, a member of a fashionable church,
electrified a music-seller some time iliac°
by inquiring for "Solomon's Song,”
hie sointstyr had spcilfen of * air is re
dreittoP of great ge.** , 11 0 d
:that he wanted his daughtes to awe it!•
di*lintncerro.s. — From SirriOse
come s the story of an old Mow who
got very if 107 411 because his young wife
went to a ball with a good locu c l iw fan .,
and Strayed out until broad . daylight
The old_ hap went to aiusilie oldie peace
and told his story, winding up with "I
wao yet to help me, for that thing has
waving tip *boa 04 enough." "Well,
sakclothi .iteiwieet "yen 04 write freWii . IA
!sake &Sim if S o l" o f Ur lawien met
ipstp you, a divorce." "Dinned' no,ficed
the angry nab , " who th e detioe _.‘ants
a divorce?" Th•--justioe began to get
lir OW ( If you doe% mat tAlvotos t
duee-tranght you here?"
atililleitotititftastopfkrth
er Preeeedit4iPit" ' • "
_
TIII CHRISTMAS DOOR.
BY LOIS BROOKE.
Anglo: year long the moon gives light
And /flakes a silver day of night:
But once a year
She seems more near,—
Shows every night her steadfast face,
And fills the sky with tranquil grace.
'Tis hard to tell when day is done,
For day and night flow into mfe.
So Heaven shines downward all the while,
And lights us with Its constant smile;
But once a year
It draws more near:
Wide open stands the shining door,
With gleams of light unseen before :
And all across flash glimpses th'et
Of upper joys and radiant feet.
'lts ever so 9 Ince love broke through.
And down the widening spaces flew :
That h'.essed year
Our Lord came near;
F. Him swung back the starry bound
Deepened far up the great profound :
All Iteavetovrept outward at his birth,
lid naught was narrow but ne earth!
Now evermore lie stands and waits
:ome lifting of these lower gates:
lint once a year
lie waits more near:—
Shall the blest door he thrown so wide,
And only we the entrance hide?
Unbar all hearts, make room within,
And let the holy Christmas In:
for Jwi ;T.
CHRISTMAS CAROL
=II
th,t .••; ,t song in the uu !
There's a star in the sky:
There's a mother's deep prayer
Aod A baby's low Cr)!
And the star rains its fire while the Beautiful sing
Fur the manger Bethlehem cradles a King!
Tlu•r,••1 A tAinuot of Joy
O'er wenutou rul birth,
Fur the Virgin's sv..•et boy
Is the Lord of the earth.
Ay! the star rains It, lire and the Beautiful sing
Fur the manger ~f I:v[11101..1n (Tattles 3 King!
In the light of that star
I.le.the ages impearled
And that song from afar
Has swept over the world.
Every hearth Is aflame. and the Beautiful sing
In the homes of the nations that Jesus is gulp
AEI
W.• rejoice to th ,
And we echo the ,tau.;
That comes dot%a 1.111 , 101 U.
From the heavenly 111P.I/g.
Ay: Ate , 110111 to the i4,so•ly eVangel thtl bring,
And AN - 0 0'4'14 in Iti. , radie our Saviour and King
ti..•ri6m , r'l , for Jonv,,rp.
THE DARK HOUR
'•I can't stand it any longer, Jane. I'll
go out. and perhaps smnething will turn
up for u.."
'lt', a told night. Hobert."
"Cohl, yes! But it's not Much colder
outsider than in. It would have been
much better (or you if you had married
John Trematn," he said bitterly.
-Don't gay that. Robert, I've never re
gretted my choice."
"Not even now, when there is not a loaf
of bread in the house for you and the
children."
"Not even now, Robert. Don't be dis
couraged. God has not forsaken us.
Perhaps this Christmas eve the tide will
turn; better days may dawn upon us to
-1:110170w."
Robert Brice shook his head despond
ingly.
—You are more hopeful than' I, Jane.
Day after day I have been in search of
employment. I have called at fifty places,
only to receive the same answer every
where."
Just then little Jimmy. who had been
asleep, woke up.
"Mother," he pleaded, "won't yon give
me a piece of bread? lam so hungry."
"There is no bread, Jimmy darling,"
said the mother with an aching heart.
When will there he some?" asked the
child piteously . .
Tenn: came to the mother's eyes. She
knew not what to say.
-Jimmy, I'll bring you some bread,"
said the father hoarsely, and he seized his
hat and went to the door.
His wife, alarmed, laid her hand upon
his sleeve. She saw the look in his eyes,
and she feared to what step desperation
might lead him.
"Remember, Robe ," she said solemn
ly, "it is hard to starve, bat there are
things that are worse."
Tie shook her hand, but not roughly,
and without a word passed
Out in the cold streets! Th• • would be
their only home next. For a b :ef time
longer he had the shelter of a c ; • :rless
room iu a cold tenement house, but he
rent would become due at the end of t
month, and he has nothing to meet it.
Robert Brice was a mechanic, compe
tent and skillful. Three years since he
lived in a country village where his ex
penses wpm ;moderate, and he found no
difficulty in meeting thorn. Bat in an
evil hour lie grew tired of hls village home
and removed to the city. Here he vainly
hoped to do better. For a while he met
with very good success, but he found his
tenement house, in which he was obliged
to live, a poor substitute for the neat cot
tage which he had occupied in the coun
try. He saw his mistake, but was too
proud to go back.
"Of course I can't have as good accom
modations here as in the country," he
said, "but it is something to live in, and
be in the midi of things."
"I'4 rather be back again," said his
wife; "somehow the city doesn't seem
like home; there I used to run in and take
tea with a neighbor, and have a pleasant
social time; here I know scarcely any
' may. "
"You'll get used to it after while," said
her husband.,
She did not think so, but did not like to
compleM.
BUt a time of greet depression came,
and with it a suspension of business enter
prises. Work ceased for Robert 11 ‘ ce
arid many others. If he had been his
old home he could have turned his
to something else, and at the worst could
bare borrowed - of his neigkhois until bet
ter times. But the friendly relations arts.
ing from neighberhood do not exist in the
city to tbe same extent as In the country.
Bo day by day he went out to seek Ina,
only to find himself one of slattern:As;
all of wb 41 4 1 Were fioaree4 to ißea.
_ROA
meat. If he bad Wen alone he couldttave
got ahing iomehow, but itwss a sore trial
to come, isto a cheerless room , and pale
wife amilumiy.:childrent;With
,no relief
to, offer them. - .
..
Wheil ow tbig• - • Cbrbltioa" II" Robert
liriee went io . to the streets bobs:di:Vow
how be was golig ri to redeem the *Min
lw.had made lit* Aimmy, Ite wsui al).
eautob penntloss,. and had been so for
Woo days. Theewlras_ :;/WitgalVtb*t he
was. Ilk* to *id to d 9 at wil#At•,. '
"I will pawn, my coatvr he said at last.
Ef=29
=I
'•I cannot see my. wife and children
starve.•' .
It was a well worn overcoat, and that
cold winter night he needed something
more to keep him warm. Weakened by
enforced fasting he was more sensitive to
the cold, and shivered as he walked along
without it, but I cannot see my children
starve before my eyes."
Tie was not in general an envious man,
but when be saw sleek, well fed citizens
buttoned up to the throat in warm over
coats, come out of the brilliantly lighted
shops, provided with presents for happy
children at home, while his were starving,
he suffered some bitter thoughts upon the
inequality of fortune's gifts to come to
his mind.
Why should they.be so happy, be so
miserable ?
There was a time, he remembered it
well, when he too suffered not the Christ
mas eve to pass without buying - some
little gift for Jimmy and Agnes. How
little he dreamed then that they would
ever want bread.
There was one man shorter than him
self, warmly clad, who passed him with
his hands thrust into the pockets of his
overcoat. There was a pleasant smile
upon his face. He was doubtless thinking
of the happy circle at home.
Robert knew him as a rich merchant,
whose ample warehouse he had often
passed. He had applied to this man only
two days before for employMent and been
refused. It was perhaps t ,the thought of
the wide difference between them, so far
as outward circumstances went, that led
Robert to follow him.
After a while the merchant—Mr.
Grimes—drew his handkerchief safely
from his pocket. As he did so he'did not
perceive that his pocket-book came out
with it and fell to the sidewalk.
He did not perceive it, but Robert did.
His heart leaped into his mouth and a
sudden thought enttred his mind. He
bent: quickly down and picked up the
pocket-book. He raised his eyes instantly
to see If the movement was noticed. It
was not. The merchant went on unheed
ing his loss.
- This will buy bread for my wife and
children," thought Robert, instantly.
A. vision of the comfort which the
money would bring that cheerless roam
lighted up his heart for an instant, but
then, for he was not dishonest, there came
another thought. The money was not
his, as much as he wanted it.
"13nt I cannot see my wife and chil
dren starve," he thought again. "If it is
wrong to keep the money God will par
don the offence. Ho will understand my
motive."
All this was sophistry, and he knew it.
In a moment he felt it to be so. There
were some things worse than starvation.
It was his wife who said this just before
he came nut. Could he meet her gaze
when he returned with food so obtained.
"I've lived honest so far, — he thought;
`•I won't turn thief now."
It was with an effort he came to this
decision, for all the while there was before
his eyes that vision of a cheerless home,
and he could hear Jimmy vainly asking
for food. It was with an effort that he
stepped forward and placed his hand on
the merchant's shopkler, and extended
the hand that held the pocket-book.
"Thank you," said the merchant, turn
ing round, "I hadn't perceived my loss."
"You dropped it when you took out
your handkerchief."
"And you saw it and picked it up. I
am much obliged to you."
"You have reason to be,"
_said Robert
in a low voice. "I came neariceeping it."
"That would have been dishonest,"
said Mr. Grimes, his tone altering, slightly.
-Yes, it would; but it's hard ou a man
to be honest when he is penniless, and his
wife and children without a crust."
"Surely you and your family are not in
that condition?" said the merchant earn
estly.
"Ycs," , said Rotryrt, "it is only too
true."
"And you are out of work?"
"For two months I have vainly sought
for work. I applied to you two days
since."
•"I remember, you uow. I thought I
had seen your face before. You still want
work."
"I should feel grateful for it."
"A porter left me yesterday. Will you
take his place for twelve dollars a week."
"Thankfully, sir. I would for half
that."
"Then come to-morrow morning, or
rather, as to-morrow will be a holiday,
the day succeeding. Meantime take this
for your present necessities."
He drew from his pocketbook a bank
• %, and put it into Robert's hand.
'lt's fifty dollars!" said Robert in
mazement.
"I know it. The pocketbook contains
a thousand dollars. But for you I should
have lost the whole. I wish you a merry
Christmas."
"It will, indeed, be a merry Christmas,"
said Robert, with emotion. "God bless
you, sir. Good night."
Jane waited for her husband in the
cold and cheerless room, which fir a. ,few
days longer she might call het. home.
"Do you think father will bring some
bread?" said little Jimmy, as he nestled
close in her lap.
"I hope so, darling," she said; but her
heart misgave her, Sl fogs 4 it was a
delusive hope.
An hour past—there was a step on the
stair—her husband's. It could not be,
for this was a cheerful, elastic step, com
ing up two stairs at -a time. ' She looked
eagerly to the door.
Yes, it was he. The door opened.
Robert, radiant with joy, entered with a
basket full of substantial provisions. •
"gave you some bread, father?" asked
Jimmy hopefully.
"Yes, Jimmy, some bread and meat
from a restaurant, and here's a little tea
and sugar. There's a little wood left,
Jane, Let's have a bright fire and a com
fortable meal; for, please God, this /dull
be a merry Christmas."
"How did it happen? Tell me„ Robert."
So Robert told his wife, and soon a
bright fire lit up the before cheerless room,
and there were four happy hearts that
waited in joyful hope for the dawn of a
"Marry Cluistnuis Day."
The nest week they moved to a better
home. They have never since known
what it is to want. 'Robert found a firm
Yriend in the merchait, and has an au
count is the savings bank, and has rea
son to remember, with a gratotki heart,
God's goodness on that,Christmas Eve;
A Ihunkhi.Paorr MEPOIM—Petu ink
ana paper ara shammy; new nil& is nam
ehanplii Intim are hemp wheat is -
grain better than oats; - wines and liquors
gene:slit have $ sininrwant .teldeaq;
mao-clates are rbdug. •
1=
:
\ ,
, .
1 \
\T'
- 1.
11121
WHOLE NO. 3645.
A SLACK HUSBAND PUNISHED.
"Mr. Moneition," said my graiaLmnth
er, "I have no wood to hum to- daylythat
shall I do?"
"Oh! send Lowisa round to pick up
some." said the good man, making a stride
toward the door.
"But she, has picked tip all-' e can
fifins
'Met' let her break up some old stuff."
"But she has broken up everything al
tWy. "'
"Oh! well, then dothenext best thing—
I must be oft," said the farmer; and no
doubt wondering in his heart what the
next best thing would turn out to
Noon came, and with it came my grand
father and his four hungry labOrers.
grand-mother stood in the kitchen, spin
ning on her great wheel, and singing a
pleasant ditty; Louisa sat scouring tins in
the back room, and the cat sat purring en
the hearth, before a black and fireless
chimney. while the table sat in the middle
of the room, spread for dinner, but with
empty dishes.
"Well, wife, here we are." said my
grand-father, cheerily.
-so I see," replied sbe, placidly. -Have
you had a good morning in the corn
field ?"
"Why, yes. ,o-so. Ihtt where is, this
dinnei.`?"
"In the pot on the door-step. Won't
you see if it is done yet ?"
And on the door-step, to be sure. sat the
great iron pot, nicely covered, hnt not
looking particularly steamy. My grand
father raised the cover and there lay all
the ingredients for a nice boiled dinner,
everything prepared in the nicest manner,
and the pot filled with the clearest of
water, and all the vegetables and meat as
raw as they had ever been. My grand
father started and my grand-mother join
ed another roll to the yarn upon her distaff
and began another verse of her song.
"Why, woman, what does this mean?"
began my grand-father, indignantly.—
"This dinner isn't cooked at all?"
"Dear me, is it not?" asked the good
wife in pretended astonishment. "Why
it has set in the sun this four hours."
•'Set In the sun!"
••Teo. you told me to try the next best
thing to having a fire, and I thought set
ting my dinner in the sun was about
My grand-father stood doubtful for a
moment; but finally his sense of humor
overcame his =ease of injury, and he
laughed aloud. Then picking up his bat
he said:
boys, we might' as well ',tart for
the woods. We shall have no dinner till
we've earned it. I perceive.-
••`f'on't you have some bread and cheese
beLre you go?'' asked my grand-mother,
generous in her victory, as women always
are. And so she won the day.
The cellar-stairs in the old farm house
had become broken and so unsafe that my
grand-mother besieged her husband, early
and late, to repair them, lest some acci
dent should happen. Ile always promised
to do so, and always forgot to fulfill his
promise. At last, my grand-mother fell
in going down, and spilled the milk she
was carrying.
"A.re you hurt?" asked my grand-fath
er, smoking his pipe beside the fire.
"No matter whether I . am or not," re
turned the angry housewife, re-appearing
with her empty pan. "That is the last
time I carry milk down those stairs until
they arc mended!"
••Please yourself, and find the next best
way to get it down," said the husband, a
little vexed at her tone.
"I will," said my grand-mother and she
was as good as her word. The next eve
ning my grand-father went down cellar to
draw some eider.
••W hat in thunder!" exclaimed he,—
nothing worse, I assure you, for he was
not a profane man. "What in the thun
der is the matter down here? Why,
woman, your milk is all over the cellar
bottom!"
"It is!" replied my grand-mother tran
quilly. "Well, I think that is likely
enough, falling so far."
"Falling so far! What do you mean ?"
"Why, you know I said I shouldn't car
ry the milk over those broken stairs again,
and you told me to try the next best way
of getting it down, and so I took up a
board in the kitchen door, threw down the
pans, and strained the milk into them."
The cellar-steps were mended next day.
—Hearth and Home.
A capital joke, and all the more palata
ble because it is true, and can be vouched
for, took place a few Sundays since at one
of the prominent churches in New Jersey.
It seems that a very worthy deacon had
been very industrious in selling a new
book costing 73 cents. As the ser
vice in question the minister, just before
dismissing the congregation, rose and said,
"All you who have children to baptize
will please present them next Sabbath.''
The deacon, who, by the way, was a lit
tle deaf, and having an eye to selling the
books, and supposing his pastor was refer
ing to them, immediately jumped up and
shouted, "And all you who haven't any
can get as many as you want by calling on
me, at seventy-five cents each."
The preacher looked cross-eyed at the
brothers, brothers looked at the clergy.
man, the audience punched the audience
in the side, the bubble grew larger until .
it burst into a guffaw; ladies colored up,
blushed, and thanked the Lord for the low
price of peopling the earth. There was no
benediction that morning worth speaking
of.
The deacon, after he found out the
mistake, changed his pew from the front
of the church to the third from the rear,
and though he cannot hear the sermon,
he is rionsoled with the thought that the
youug ladies cat snicker at him.
Menem, Max.—There is an expression
on the face of a good married man who
has a goal wife that a bachelor can not . '
have. It is indescribable. He is a little
nearer angels than the prettiest young fel
low living. Yon oan see that his broad
breast is a pillow for somebody's head,
and that little angers pull his whiskers.—
No one ever mistakes the goodinerried
man. It is onlythe erratic one who leaves
you in doubt. The good one can protect
all the unprotected females, and Make
himself generally agreeable to the ladies,
and yet never leave a doubt on any mind
that there is*" precious little woman at
home worth all the world to him.
A. GRAND jury, ignored a bill against a
negro for stealing. Before the judge dia.
„shims' Us from Ctistsody be called up
tM mscsuud and s aid in k hini, "You can
go now, but let m warn you never
to airpeor bare again,'' 4ohn replied,
SO A broad grin, "1 wouldtit,been here
*no only de constable fetchhd
• 1 4
rkr:
SAL Asp JAzz;—"Git eout, , yew uasty
trarirls* merabous i o os. VIL tell your
maP' eried.out Bally to her lover Jake,
who sat *boa ..lem het from her pulling
dirt from the °Kinney jam.
=I
"I ain't tonching' o,n yon Sal,'L-1-eqponcl
ed Jake.
"Well, perhaps you don't mean to
nuther—do yer?"
"No I don't."
"'Cause you're tame! scary! you longs
legged, lantern-jawed, slab-sided, pigeon.
eyed, gangle owl, you! you bavn't got a
bit of seem! git along home with you."
"NoW Sal, I love you, and can't help it,
and if you don't let me stay arid court you,
my pap will sue your'n for that cow ue
sold 'tother day. By jingo,le said he'd
do it."
"Well, look here, Jake, if you Rant to
court me you'd better do it as a white
man does that thing, and not set orf thar
as if you thought I was pizen."
"How on airth is that, Sal?'?,
"Why ride right up here, and hug and
kiss me, as if you had some of the bone
and sinner of a man about you. Do you
suppose A woman's only made to look at,
you fool yon?"
"Well," said jake, drawing a long
breath,"if I must I 'spose Imust, for I
love you Sall" and so Jake commenced
sliding up to her. Laying his arm grace
fully upon Sal's shoulder, and placing
himself in a theatrical attitude, we thought
we heard Sal exclaim in sweet silver)
notes like those of a dying swan:
"That's the way to do it, old boss!
that's it." "Oh Jerusalem and pancakes!"
said Jake, drawing the back of his hand
across his mouth, "Buckwheat cakes, slap
jacks and lasses ain't no whar, long side
o' you Sal!" Hero their lips came togeth
er, and the report that followed was like
pulling a horse's hoof out of the mire.
A SECOND WkSIIINGTON.—Na*,
I commenced being good at a very early
age, and built myself up on the beet
models. I was yet an infant when I read
the affecting story of the hacking down of
cherry tree by George Washington,
and his manly statement to hisi.father that
he could not tell a lie. I read the story,
and it filled me with the disire to surpass
him. I was not going to allow any such
boy as George Washington, if he did af
terwards get to be a President, to excel
me in the moralities. Immediately I seiz
ed an axe, and cut down the most valua
ble cherry tree my father had; and more,
I dug up the roots and burned the
branches, scrthat by no means could the
variety be produced, and I went skating
one Sunday, so that I might confess the
two faults, and be wept over and forgiven
on account - of my extreme truthfulness.
The etperimenta were, I regret to say,
partial failures. I was very , much like
George Washington, but the trouble was,
my father didn't resemble George Wash
ington's father, which was essential to the
success .of my scheme. "Did you cut
down that cherry tree ?'' asked he. "Fath
er, I cannot tell a lie. I did it with my
little hatchet," I answered, striking the
proper attitude foalhe old gentleman to
shed tears on me.. But he didn't shed.
He remarked that he had rather I had told
a thousand lies than to have cut down
that particular tree, and he whipped me
till I was in a state of exasperating raw
ness. My skating idea was no less a fail
ure. I broke through the ice that. Sunday
and was pulled out with difficulty—and a
boat-hook. As I lay sick fora month with
a fever, I didn't get a chance to get off th.-
Washington remark.
COULDN'T SEE Erie, Pa., thew
is an-elderly gentleman who, until recent
ly, was much annoyed by visits from a
life insurance. agent. One day an agent
named Wilson called upon him, and in
a glib manner commenced enumerating
the advantages of insuring in a trust
worthy company.
'What's the use of insuring my life?'
said Mr. B. 'lf I die it won't do me any
good. I don't see the sense of it.'
Wilson then proceeded to tell him that
in case of his death his wife would receive
the amounp.ffir which he was insured and
would thus‘be placed beyond the reacl,
of want.
On hearing this Mr. B. became furiow.
and shouted—
`Oh, that's your game, is it? Well,
wouldn't I be a pretty fool to be making
things comfortable for my wife's second
husband? Just after insuring I'd be c: 1.-
tahi, almost, to get sick and die. The
my wife would go among her neighbor,.
and brag about the money she had revel N
ed from 'your company. Some
blasted fool, hearing of her gtkel hie':
would propose and marry her, and thou
he would take her on his knee and kiss
her; and *ugh over my stupidity while
they were spending my money: and I
would be compelled to lie in my grave,
like a darned fool, unable to, say a word.!
TIED Dow` AT lioxE.—A friend u
ours, says an exchange, was one day im
portuned by his wife to treat her to a ride.
The gentleman, being a man of businelis,
pleaded his engagements, when the wife
replied that if any person would furnish
him with clothing to wear, and enough to
eat and drink, he would be willing to "be
tied down at home."
A few days after, the gentleman came
home earlier than usual and being
fatigued, lay down on the sofa and fell in
to a sound sleep. His wife took cords and
slyly tied his hands together, served his
feet in'the same way, and made him fast
to the sofa. She then set a table with all
that the house afforded, and placed an
extra suit within his reach. This done,
she started to pay a friend a visit. rpon
her returning late in the evening, she
found her subject of domestic discipline in
the same position, , except he was wide
awake and very mad. •
"What on earth does all this mean V
said he.
"Nothing," quietly remarked his wife,
"except the consummation of your earthly
wishes, enough to eat, driuk and wear,
and to 'be tied down at home."'
They were seen riding out the next day
' OLD Junor B—, of New /lamp hire,
was what Artemus Ward would call a
"sociable cuss" off the bench, and was
noted for his claiming acquaintance with
any one whose appearance happened to
please him. Entering a crowded car on
the Boston and Maine Road one day, his
honor found the only unoccupied seat to
be by the side ,of a smartly-dressed and
rather good-loiiking woman. Ascertain
ing that the seat was not engaged, the
judge settled himself comfortably in
and turning with his accustomed bland,
fatherly swill to his fair companion, said
"Your face seems familiar to me,' my
dear; I think Z must know you."
"1 should-tbink yen might," said the
Onknown, in a hoarse, whisky, contralto
voice, turning a vindictive pair of eyes on
the astonished judge. - "I should think
you might; you sent me to the house of
Correction foi three months last winter,
you interne) old scoundrel."
The judge did not press his claim for
acquaintance any further in that quarter.
Bsernstos, afthr all his matrimonial
attempts, pathetically exclaims: "When
I remember 411 the girls I've met togeth
er, I feel like a rooster in the fall, eXpos
ed to every weather; I feel like one who•
treads alone some barnyard all deserted,
whose hone are dead; wad off to market
!tatted."