YOU WANT TO GO TO COLLEGES
The incoming freshmen each
year are faced with many problems.
At least all the folders and facul
ty tell us we are faced with many
Problems...so, I guess we are.
One o ti biggest.prohl,ome
I.s that of adjustment. Adjusting paradox practicing which meets every
your slugs to fit the cigarette Tuesday in th 4 building that houses
machine, adjusting your crib sheets all chemical equipment for the pre
to fit your nett clothes, and many vention of cruelty to shoe-shine boys
other grave adjustment problems.
The committee will then discuss
There is also the problem of "Better Butter Bread." Butter bread
rules and regulations. All stu- can be bettered by boiling batter in
dents are expected to conform to stead of beating batter; but beating
the laws aad moral codes followed batter broadens batter better than
by all educAted, self-respecting boiling or broiling it.
members of society. Tese can be
summarized in the one great golden Bun batter and bread batter
rule of adut behavior--namely, better be baked beside each other.
"You can do anythin you want, as Baking both batters biologically
long as you dealt caught." bestows on each a bright, bilious,
Those who live by thi rule are brown.
recognized leaders in business,in
dustry, labor unions, and The Dana.
Beseeching better batter. is
lieved to be becoming better and, bet-
Getting bacL to the subject ter bi-annually. Believe me brother,
of incoming freshmen, we shall now better batter is a bonifitid bonus...
discuss the problem of bydgetinz bravo!
time. Host students rim into
trouble because they simply will
not bzeah the arozic and plebian
habit of sleeping. For advice on
how to lose this vice contact
Zachary No-Doze or Mary B. Bloc&
shot at the Collegian office.
See the next issue of this
snag uhen Ire will discuss the prob-
Due to the eC2ortsof Eighacres'
lea of hoi to study in the article
Student Govern: lent t,ssociation the
entitled -Readin', Writin' and
Student Union 3uileing is provided
Cheatinl".
with a 45 Ypm hi-fi juice box. It is
located in the ilaio roon and
is ,provi(ed ith a nicLel L,lot. This
ju2.:e box has not only )rovJd
to be a source of inco .e for tl'e
benefit of the ,Auduat body, but has
proved itself hirhl- enjo—ble to the
students. The House-Mules Conriittee
of the SGA is in cAar - e of the mach-
IZI=I
Heard at nidterm:
"Hew far are
correct answer?"
;Two seats.'
ou froth
Better Butter Bread...?
The time has come for all people
who are interested in the functioning
of the spasmodical paradox to be a
wake and ready for the annual appear
ance of such. This event will occur
through the kind cooperation of the
committee on watching spasmodical
(ed. note... Don't be confused upon
reading the above--the author, tho
a typical college grad was badly bent
on baking better butter bread at the
time
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tTiTI7; C I Y SIJ