HIGHACRES COLLEGIAN
HIGHAC RES THROUGH THE EYES OF K,Q g BISHOP
FLAGPOLE SABOTAGED
The stars**&-stripes have not been seen
flying over HIGHACRES for several months.
Informed sources are saying that several
AFROTC cadets sabotaged the flagpole;*
HIGHACRES GONE TO THE DOGS?
Attention administration, a dog placement
agency is being run out of the girls
lounge. Don't let this thing get out of
hand }
NO PARKING COMMITTEE
Rumors state that there is* at the moment,
no parking committee here at HIGHACRES.
Hove fun while it lasts all you illegial
parsers«
BOTANY OR CHEMISTRY ?
I'd like to know who the smart guy is
who watered the plants in the !i Zoo lab"
with f urmaldehyde „■ I know the man must be
dedicated to science, but if he had only
come to mem I could have told him that
plants receive no beneficial affects
what-so-ever from furmaldehyde.
DO GIRLS BELONG IN CHEM LABS?
Hats off to Sandra Rimm for an intern-
es ting and educational experiment in the
Friday Chem 2B lab. Seriously., we are all
thankful that she was not seriously
injured. After all, if she were incapaci
tated, even temporarily, many of us would
fail miserably. Her guiding hand keeps us
out of the dark in chemistry and calculus*
-jj. i/ K # # 4;- ft ft ft -X- ft ft ft ft ft ft ft
VALENTINE TOMFOOLERY
Three of our Hazleton Center instructors
were not forgotten on February 14th, -
St, Valentine’s Day. Attorney Cohn rec
eived a lovely card from a "Mr, Tanner",
author of the Pennsylvania Business Law
textbook used in Commerce 30—31* Prof.
Longo received greetings from "Mr. Filene",
by John Zisek
a Boston merchant who is well known to
students of Marketing* As a crowning
jester, Mr, Peightal was the recipient
of salutations from "Fergy and Mac",
conferred nicknames of the authors of
a Political Science textbook. Please
note - These cards were all postmarked
Hazleton, Pa.
By a process of deductive reasoning, the
villain was narrowed down to a Business
Administration Student. However, due to
a normal guilty composure, an innocent,
but discriminating student was credited
with masterminding this brilliant plan*
Note to above instructors - Mike Tomai
will probably plead the fifth Amendment
if questioned, Mike was the sole pro
moter of this chef-d’oeuvre.
■» ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft -ft ft
NOT FOUND ON ATOMIC CHART
from Scranton's CUB’S ROAR
Name ? I’omen
SyruDol? WOW 1
Seespied Atomic Height! 12D
Occurrence»“ Found' wherever man exists,
seldom in free state.
Physical Properties! Boils at nothing,
lnsy~ireeze at anything;
melts when properly treated*
Chemical Properties* Very active, poe-
ssesses great efiinroy lor
gold; silver, platinum,
precious stonesj violent re
action when left alone,;
able to absorb great quant
ites of expensive food, tur-
ns green when placed next a
better looking specimen*
Uses* Highly ornemental, useful as
tonic for low is
probably the most powerful
reducing agent known*
Caution! Highly explosive*
Variations! All present-day models are
isotopes of origins] Eve.
ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft
A COLLEGE CALENDAR
Reglu^/atiojj
Matriculation
Dissipation
Elminiation
FEB. 28, 1958