The Beer Drinker's Manifesto
by Our Man With Vision
Brett Taylor
Collegian Staff Writer
As my eyes frantically
scanned the letter in my hand, I
~ , thought: How did I get on Karl
The highest purpose is 1 Marc’s mailing list? Didhe trade
to ha ve no purpose at all. address books with the Christian
This puts one in accordance Anti-Communist League? But
with nature, in her manner this letter was signed by Bobby
of operation." Unser Jr. The Bobby Unser Jr.
I read
- John Cage
I never asked to be a man with
vision. Being the beacon for an
entire generation of lost souls is a
burden I would not wish upon
any mortal being. But such is
my station in life, and I accept it
happily. Still, the demands
millionaires want to raise
taxes...while special tax
loopholes which favor the rich
remain on the books. We beat
them last year because we have
something even the rich and
powerful don't have strength
in numbers
And now the Revolution
awaits: a dark, looming beast
that was always there, skulking
around the comer, biding its
time. And now the time has
come. The Revolution calls and I
will respond.
it has never been so
necessary, so urgent, for you to
take action. Because , if we
don't, we will lose a lot of
money and much more
Think Skiing
Erie Offers More
Than Rain and Fall
By: Millicent E. White
Collegian Staff Writer
When late Saturday afternoon
rolls around and you have all or
most of your studying done, what
does the typical Behrend student
have to do? The question here is,
what do most Behrend students do
with their free time, and most
importantly what do those of us
who don't go home for the
weekends do to have fun and make
the most out of our college lives?
Everyone has seen the college
orientated movies like "Animal
House,” which show the kids
having a great time getting drunk
and being rowdy, well here at
Behrend that kind of fun can be had
if you really desire it or you can
take it easy and relax. It's up to the
individual, Behrend is only what
you make it.
I am a freshman living on a
floor with 31 other freshman girls
who all have different personalities
and ideas of what is fun. We all
managed to agreed on one thing,
though. It was sleep. It seems
catching up on much needed sleep
is a very popular thing to do on
the weekends. I thought sleeping
was a fine idea, but after a little
thought we came up with some
other interesting activities.
For those of us without cars or
any other form of transportation,
the Blue Bus is a very valuable
asset. The Behrend Blue Bus is the
link between the campus and many
of the worthwhile and fun activities
that we discussed.
Erie and the north western
Pennsylvania area offer a number of
seasonal activities. When we first
arrived in August the weather was
warm and many of us hopped the
Blue Bus or bummed a ride to
Presque Isle State Park for a little
Host Demonstrates
Coritd. from Page 3
physically threaten one of the men However, it was the actual name
on stage! Is this any way to calling by one of the supretnists
Geraldo to conduct himself? that really started everything. (He
Instead of objectively exploring a called one Jewish guest a "kike".)
delicate subject as he should have, Despite this, I think that if it had
Geraldo helped to promote the not been for the subjective and
tension which eventually led to the tension-filled atmosphere that
unnecessary violence. Geraldo himself helped to build,
Though I blame Geraldo for this sad spectacle could have been
most of what happened on his prevented. If this show is any
show, I think that it was not he insight into the true perception of
who directly caused the incident, equality by our so-called advanced
Up until the point where the fight society, score:
broke out, there were many Papism 1
accusations and racial overtones Kacism.. 1
commented on by several people. Equality 0
we beat them once, and
together with the support of 80
million beer drinkers across
America, we will beat them again
And so my destiny is drawn.
The job search will have to wait.
Things bigger than you and I
require my devotion and time and
blood now. The BDA needs me.
The BDA needs you.
fun in the sun. Presque Isle offers
many activities. Along with a
nice, clean beach comes swimming,
boating, water-skiing, windsufing,
and a handful of other activities that
guarantees a fun filled and rather
inexpensive afternoon. Erie's
Presque Isle Beaches are a real
treasure. The seven miles of sand
and surf represent the longest free
stretch of sandy beach in the entire
For the winter person, one of
the main attractions of Erie is the
long winter and accessibility to
some pretty good ski resorts.
That’s right skiing!!! Get your
boots, hats, skis, and season passes
ready!!! Peak and Peak is only 20-
30 minutes from campus, and
Seven Springs, Hidden Valley, and
Holiday Valley are only two or
three hour drives.
For the beginner or budget
minded skier. Mount Pleasant in
Edinboro is 20 minutes away. It
doesn't have chair lifts, though, just
a small ski area for beginners to try
their luck and learn the basics
before hitting the more advanced
slopes. I have heard that the skiing (CPS)-It's the final touch for
does get exciting on cold nights, the well-dressed college student:
The trails are dimly lit and the ice condoms in school colors,
buildups make for some of the Students at most schools will be
most challenging skiing you will able to get them soon, says
ever do. Nicholas Fogel, Jr., president of
In the interim between the beach College Condoms, the San Diego
and ski seasons Behrend students firm that's selling the devices to
don’t have to wait for the first selected campuses in California,
snowfall, they can go .outside and Arizona, Florida, lowa and Kansas,
enjoy the beautiful sights and "is the market is there."
smells of autumn we are having ' The condoms are sold in packets
right now. If the rain stops, a walk of six for a suggested retail price of
through the gorge is a great way to 52.99. "At USC, the packets are
enjoy all of this. The paths are three red and three yellow. At the
wide and safe but most importantly University of California, it’s three
the walk can be beautiful and blue and three yellow. For schools
invigorating. Nothing gets the with three colors it’s two, two, and
mind off of school and other two,” Fogel explained.
Red, yellow, dark and light blue,
black, green and pink condoms now
are available, but students soon will
be able to buy them in brown,
emerald, white, "every color,"
Fogel promises.
The inspiration for the product
came when Fogel attended a
basketball game with an alum of
the University of North Carolina.
The friend wore Tar Heel
sportswear, prompting Fogel to
tease that he probably also wore a
Tar Heel condom.
The idea stayed with Fogel. His
first consignment os 14,000
packets went on sale four months
ago. A second batch of 240,000
boxes is almost ready for the
marketplace.
While some campus stores cany
the product and some choose not
too, Fogel says he's had ”100
Beer Drinkers of America is
comprised solely of hard
working Americans like yourself,
who have invested a small
amount to fight the wealthy and
powerful forces who want to
raise your taxes and take your
rights away
As my eyes frantically
scanned the letter in my
hand, I thought:
did I get on Karl Marx's
mailing list? Did he
trade address books with
the Christian Anti-
Communist League?
And so I pass along to you,
dear reader, this urgent message
from Beer Drinkers of America.
Their recent letter to me tells of
the conspiracy in Washington
against all of us "hard working
men and women who are
discriminated against just because
we have made beer our beverage
of choice.” Well, I don't drink
beer, and I don't work hard
either, but apparently a proposed
300 percent tax increase on beer
problems better than a hike in the
gorge
On lazy Saturday afternoons the
most popular activity is to hop the
Blue Bus to the Millcreek Mall and
spend the day shopping in the
almost endless stream of stores and
enjoying lunch at one of the many
restaurants.
The Blue Bus also provides
services to and from the mall in the
evenings. Students can take
advantage of the movie theater or
have dinner at Chi Chi's, The Red
Lobster, The Ground Round,
Ponderosa. That is, you can eat
there if you have just gotten an
extra S5O from some'kin'd relative.'
If that isn’t the case you may want
to try somewhere less expensive
like McDonalds, Taco Bell, Arbys,
or Rax are within most peoples
budgets. If you haven't fulfilled
your weekly grease quota these are
the places to go.
I advise all students to take
advantage of the Blue Bus. The fair
is .60 cents to and from campus.
This is definitely a small price to
pay for a little good clean fun.
Behrcnd also has a number of
pre-scheduled campus activities to
Be True to Your School
Condoms in
School Colors?
November 22, 1988
is too important to go unnoticed
by anyone.
You know, you never really
understand the suffering that
oppressed minorities like beer
drinkers undergo until you get a
mailing from them. I had no idea
that wealthy and powerful forces
were hard at work in Washington
trying to subjugate the noble beer
drinker by economically
infiltrating his backyard
barbeques. Alas. Life -can be
cruel.
And I thought smokers had it
bad. Just this week I read about
a controversial new movie
beginning production here in
town. It stars Behrend's own
Love Rob as a man who
discovers that people who smoke
are actually aliens from other
galaxies. It seemes they have
secretly landed on to Earth to
adapt our atmosphere for
colonization by their own
species. They accomplish this
feat by smoking several packs of
cigarettes every day. The
working title was changed to
They Smoke , after The Last
Tempting Cigarette of Christ’s
Women Today proved to be too
controversial.
If you would like to make a
contribution to the BDA (yes, it
really does exist), send a hefty
wad of cash to me in care of the
Collegian Only you can save
the oppressed masses of beer
drinkers from unfair
discrimination. Thanks,
comrade.
God, it's great to feel needed.
keep the students occupied. The
different clubs and associations
sponsor dances and other activities
to provide entertainment on the
weekends.
For the health conscious or
athletic student Behrend has tennis
courts, basketball courts, and if you
take a little initiative it wouldn't be
very hard to arrange a pick-up
football or softball game. By
observing the fields and courts on
any given weekend it is very easy
to see the resident students are
always ready to get out and be
rowdy with one another for a few
hours.
"" The Party scene at Behrend is
only as good as each individual
makes it for himself. A party is
always around the comer, alcohol or
no alcohol. The students at Behrend
throw some parties, but more often
you find little get-togethers in the
dorms, apartments, or various off
campus locations.
Once again, weekends at Behrend
are not boring if you don't want
them to be and everyone needs to
take a break from the pressures of
school and really go out and enjoy
themselves every once in awhile.
percent acceptance” from all the
campuses he's contacted.
The school colors, Fogel
claims, "have relieved the stigma of
buying a condom. (Students) don't
feel like they’re really buying
condoms. They can joke about it."
So far, at least one outlet reports
sales of the condoms are slow.
Mort Spiegel, manager of
Campus Drug near Arizona State
University, says, "People have to
become aware that it is here. We've
sold a couple, though, I think it
will catch on."
Fogel says typical reactions are
like those of two doctors he
contracted. One wanted to buy
several packets to give as presents
at his class reunion. The second
doctor said, "Those are great! I can
use them as stocking stuffers."
VIDEO USA # 30
474 BUFFALO RD
ERIE, PA 16510
814-899-5225
FREE LIFETIME
MEMBERSHIP
Proper I.D. Required
18 Years of Age
Home Phone
Valid License
Major Charge or
Current Utility Bill
Epic Dillinger
by Rob Prindle
Feature Editor
This stuff is strange. No, really; this stuff is so strangely good that I
cannot imagine how it got published. Apparently Kangaroo court
Publishing is truly a publishing house with vision.
Do I have your interest? I am talking about Mr. Todd Moore. A
poet, a fan of the famous gangster John Dillinger, and an all around
weird guy if his poetry is any indication.
Todd Moore is coming to Behrend to read his lyric/epic
poetry on Thursday December 1. He will be speaking in
the friendly confines of the Studio Theater at 7:30 pm.
The reading is free and open to the public.
Moore, who has been called "The greatest poet of the American
Plains since Sandburgh" by the Los Angeles Times.will read from his
multi-volume Dillinger series. He has been writing his lyric study of
John Dillinger since 1974 and has recently had three of the projected 21
volumes printed by the Erie based Kangaroo Court Press. Moore now
teaches English in Belvidere Illinois and some of his poetry has
appeared in small press journals like "Glitch" and "Wormwood
Review."
I have the privilege of having a copy of volume 1, The Name is
Dillinger. This particular volume has just been designated as a
required text in an Honors course at the University of Toledo. Moore
writes in the voice of Dillinger and really makes it work.
I decided that I would look for an interesting section to use in this
article, but I ran into a problem. The entire book would have made a
good out take. I decided on this:
dillinger / am throwing clocks at water
dillinger I am watching a woman undress
soon we'll be doing it
cowboy dillinger
dillinger of the 1000 faces
dillinger / am driving a car out of control
or I can control it & don't want to
dillinger /am watching a gangster movie
& know I am better
crashout john
After reading The Name is Dillinger my mouth watered for the
the other volumes. Volumes with names like: Dillinger's Face,
Dillinger & the Color Red, The Taste of Blood and A
Hideout Where.
The advertisement for the series told me that the Dillinger Series
is rated Tt' for strong language, sex and violence. I cannot help but
admire strong violence and sex in poetry.
Don't take my word for it, though. The critics are falling in love
with this man and his Epic poem on Dillinger.
Aurthur Winfield Knight of "Small Press Magazine" said of the
Dillinger Series "Incredibly intense...l can't think of another long
narrative poem as important since Ginsberg's "Howl" and "Kaddish,"
and I think (Dillinger) may well address things that are more germane
to what it means to be alive in our time than Ginsberg's work."
Dillinger
by Todd Moore
Another critic, Robert Peters said "Dillinger may just turn out to
be one of the few important long poems in the lyric-epic mode written
by a contemporary poet. Moore comes as close as any poet I know to
the primary nerves of our time."
If you have read this far, you are obviously interested in Todd
Moore's work, so here's one more-out take.
dillinger
the johnnie come lately
the johnnie full of come full of shit
the long warwhoop johnnie
the johnnie in my pants
the johnnie in yours
bullseye johnnie
& the john o guns john
Ok, here is the last excerpt If I do anymore, this guy's lawyer will
be looking for royalties.
I have danced wl a stick in a field
I have danced on wood and behind steel
I have danced under the dumb moon
I have danced rubber
I have danced shoe leather
I have danced barefoot
1 have danced on my father's snow
& tried to thaw it
NEED EXTRA CASH
"SPECIAL FOR NEW DONORS"
FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY
Learn how to earn an additional $5.00 on top
of our already high donor fees
Please call for further information and
PLASMA-TEC, LTD.
11l WEST 9th ST.
ERIE, PA 16501
814-454-0070
Bring this coupon in for an additional $2.00
bonus on first donation
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
appointment