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The Behrend Beacon
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PEATURIES
FUNNIES
Friday, April 18, 2003
THIS BELONG TO YOU, BUDDY?
A man robbed a gas station in Canonsburg, Pa., and left his cell phone
behind. It didn't take long for the police to catch him.
BUT WE HAVE YOUR FINGERPRINTS
After having a few drinks, a 41-year-old man in Yokohama, Japan,
grabbed the buttocks of a woman who bent over to get a soda out
of a vending machine.
She called police who rushed in and arrested him. He says he does not
OK, THEN, DOWN WITH AGRICULTURE, TOO
A man decided to chain himself to a branch office of the U.S. Department
of Energy in Olympia, Wash., to protest the U.S.-led war on Iraq. He pad
locked one end of a chain to a door handle and the locked the other end
around his neck before discovering he was at the wrong building.
Workers informed him that he was chained to the Washington State Grange,
which promotes the interests of farmers.
DITHERED TW 1 TS
The National Weather Service apologizes For mistaking
Sal the Weather Gal's ultra-sound for a Doppler Radar
readout The severe fetus alert has been canceled.
Crossword
ACROSS
1 Doc's org.
4 Vow
8 Elflike person
14 Wager
15 Entreaty
16 Longshoreman,
at limes
17 Occupied a
chair
18 Sassy
19 Pierce
20 Mythical horned
beast
22 Tide type
23 Disavow
24 Fine leather
28 Hang in loose
folds
29 Fam. member
30 Rub out
31 Understanding
between nations
34 Connections
35 Kind
38 Bars
40 Journalist
Hentoff
41 Wander about
43 Muddles
45 Grinding tooth
47 Flock leader
48 Union branch
52 Western
Hemisphere
54 On fire
55 Sacred image
56 Christmastide
burner
57 Order of
business
60 Theater box
61 Anger
62 Makes merry
63 Particular
periods
64 Fire
65 Red tablewine
66 Golf standards
67 Advanced in
years
DOWN
1 Nonsensical
2 More malicious
3 Region around
Athens
4 Adversary
5 Wide-awake
Through the looking glass
by Mike Pingree, KRT Campus
remember doing it
UMM==l
6 Gull relative Solutions
7 Derby or
Homburg
8 More crafty
9 Scented hair
dressing
10 Harmonious
relationship
11 Actress Lupino
12 Aviv-Jaffa
13 Bard's before
21 Cod or Hatteras
22 Quack medicine
24 Movie houses
25 Conceited
26 On the bounding
main
27 Snug retreat
29 More than two
32 Actor Hunter
33 Printer's
measures 44 Lone 53 Seaside
35 "My Friend
_____" 46 Conundrum 54 Boring tool
36 Weaver's 49 Parti-colored 56 Exercise system
machine cat 57 Circle segment
37 Leafy vegetable 50 Without 58 Solidify
39 Altruistic principles 59
___ Marie Saint
42 Seafarer 51 Map key 60 Track circuit
Karl Benacci, Features Editor
Sh3n Waling