Page 6
The Behrend Beacon
O'Reilly, Matthews spar at Southern
Methodist university
by Ed Bark
The Dallas Morning News
Bill O’Reilly, Chris Matthews and their well-muscled
mouths drew a jam-packed house of listeners this week
to the Southern Methodist University campus.
Together for the first time onstage, the verbose cable
news personalities clearly deserved each other. That s
intended as a compliment. Two bright guys who love
to hear themselves talk met their matches in SMU's
McFarlin Auditorium.
The hosts of Fox News Channel's "The O'Reilly
Factor" and MSNBC's "Hardball With Chris Matthews
otherwise are more accustomed to pummcling a hap
less university professor or dominating a think-tank
politico on their respective shows. This time, when
O'Reilly derisively referred to "Chris' pals" (namely,
Democrats), Matthews shot back, "At least I got pals."
Braving snowstorms that nearly left them stranded
back East, the combatants exercised decorum, as well.
This was, after all, the latest installment in the Willis
M. Tate Distinguished Lecture Series, which later this
year is scheduled to welcome Vice President Dick
Cheney, novelist John Irving and former CIA director
Bob Gates, who now is president of Texas A&M Uni
versity.
The O'Reilly/Matthews appearance, billed as "War
of the Words," may have been the comparative equiva
lent of the circus coming to town. But both men wore
suits and ties, and generally stifled themselves while
the other talked.
Late in the game, though, Matthews couldn't help
himself. This was after O'Reilly said that a high-level
intelligence official told him that most of Saddam
Hussein's generals already had cut secret "deals" with
the Bush administration. If the United States invades
Iraq, they've agreed to surrender rather than be hunted
down as "warcriminals," O'Reilly told an audience that
included former Texas Gov. Bill Clements in a front-
row seat.
If O'Reilly is a political "independent" as he claims,
then why do so many Bush administration officials
confide in him, Matthews jabbed.
"You know why they talk to me? Because we’ve got
a lot higher ratings than him," O'Reilly told an approv
ing crowd.
His Factor indeed is the most-watched program on
any cable news network. And O'Reilly also has authored
two No. 1 bestsellers, "The O'Reilly Factor" and "The
No Spin Zone."
Matthews immediately sought to put himself in a
lion's den by asking how many Republicans and Demo
crats were in the crowd. "Three to one" in favor of the
Republicans, he deduced before the two adversaries
took poles-apart positions on the advisability of war in
Iraq.
"I look forward to, in four weeks, celebrating the
demise of Saddam Hussein," O'Reilly said.
Matthews said the Bush administration should find
Osama bin Laden first.
"The world was behind us on that plan. And we blew
that posse.... We're going to be stuck in Iraq when we
should have killed bin Laden." Matthews argued.
President Bush, whom he referred to as "the young
kid," instead has fallen under the influence of the
"damned ideologues" who also advised his lather,
Matthews said. "We will be seen as the bloodthirsty
people - white guys from the West."
Ideologues in the Middle East will "hate us whether
we move him (Saddam Hussein) out or not." O'Reilly
countered.
But many in that region \ lew the Iraqi dictator as
r —————
"simply bad for business." O'Reilly said, estimating that said O'Reilly, who also had the night s last words betoie wa\-
the United States could prevail in two weeks' time while ing goodbye.
the Iraqis rally around their liberators. "These tire people who are evil." he said. "We're not. We
No one should trust "little Hans Blix." the chief U.N. must defeat them."
weapons inspector, to cany the day in Iraq. O'Reilly said. Dare it be said that their "War of the Words" resulted in a
Both men also admitted that the other could be right. split decision, with O'Reilly talking longer and Matthews talk
"My guess against his guess." said Matthews. ing taster ?
"Of course, you never know what's going to happen," Whatever your verdict, let's have a rematch.
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| HE NEEDED SOME TIME
I FOR HIMSELF
When the mayor of Ipatinga. Brazil,
suddenly disappeared, police feared
he was the victim of one of the
' nation's many political kidnappings
' and began a frantic search.
I It turns out that the man had gone to
I a brothel, where he engaged the
| services of two ladies of the evening
| and then went on a three-day
drinking binge. He was finally
spotted at the swimming pool of a
nearby hotel. Police contacted his
wife, who came and took him home
BE WITH YOU IN
A MINUTE. OFFICER
The principal of a New York school
was arrested for drunken driving
while she was supposed to be at
work.
Police came upon the woman after
she had pulled over to the side of the
road and was urinating beside her
car.
ANYONE FEEL LIKE SOME
LAMB KEBOB?
A shepherd in southern Germany
watched in horror as a flock of
ravens - frantic from starvation
because of an unusually harsh winter
- attacked his sheep with such
ferocity that they killed 19 of them.
BUT THEY SEEMED MUCH
vLT~i r~~
YOUNGER
After schoolgirls in Lanciano, Italy,
spotted a rocking car with fogged-up
windows, they alerted authorities,
who arrested the couple inside for
making love in public and charged
them with indecency.
The man was 85 and the woman, 74.
SHOT? NO, WE DIDN'T
' •>
*gp
■siii
Three young men were about to
begin an evening of burglarizing
cars in Merced, Calif. To make sure
their handgun was in good working
order, one of them fired a shot in the
air. But that caught the attention of a
nearby policeman, who arrested
them.
I A KIND OF BARNYARD
I REVENGE
I A German circus trapeze artist,
| jealous that his belly dancer ex
| girlfriend was seeing another man,
I tried to emasculate him with a pair
| of hull castration tongs. He failed.
| But he was sent to jail for seven
A Colorado woman went on
vacation to Italy with her boyfriend,
leaving her 14-year-old daughter in
charge of her other five children.
County Social Services found out
about this a day after she left, and
put the kids in foster homes. The
authorities were awaiting the
mother's return, expected in about
j RISE AND SHINE, SLEEPYHEAD
I A burglar broke into a shop in Fort
I Worth, Texas, late at night, and,
I instead of collecting his loot and
I leaving, he took a nap.
j He was still sleeping when an
| employee opened for business the
| next morning. She called the police,
I who woke him up.
A NATURAL
MISUNDERSTANDING
A woman in Niteroi, Brazil, a city
notorious for its tough traffic
enforcement, appealed her fine for
driving without a motorcycle helmet
on the grounds that she was in a car,
not a motorcycle, when she was
stopped. The fine was ultimately
THE LORD IS MY ATTORNEY,
I SHALL NOT WANT
A man on trial in Missouri for
making hostile comments to a judge
has asked that Jesus Christ be named
as his legal counsel. The man
believes that lawyers are devils."
Request denied.
Theory tbs
by Mike Pingree
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