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Brown nosing your way to
It may be a bit late in the school year
to write a welcome back article, but I
am Kevin Fallon and I can do what ever
I want. So, welcome back.
If you are here it means you survived
a summer of killer mosquitoes, raging
forest fires, and worst of all
horrible "Star Wars" movie
viving summer vacation was
the easy part, now we have to
survive the fall semester. For
all you freshmen, listen up,
because I am about to give
you the secrets on how to get
through college. I should
know, I've been here long
enough.
The best advice I can give
on how to survive college can
be summed up in two words:
brown nose. That's right.
Maybe in high school it
wasn't cool to be the teacher's pet
Well, in college it's no different. But,
unlike high school, in college no one
really cares if you are cool. So be a
dork and make a friend with a teacher.
See, professors have these things
called "office hours." This means that
the school requires them to sit in their
little cave-like offices for hours. And
Abercrombie? The American dream?
Dear Editor,
This letter is in reaction to "I think
somebody needs a nap," by Guy
Reschenthaler, editorial columnist. I
think that the columnist was out of line
in his way expressing himself on the
topic of a guest editorialist. The motto
of the Beacon puts it best, "Profession
alism with a Personality." The aforemen
tioned article seemed a little personal
ity-heavy.
Having read the article that he chose
to write about, I can understand where
is he is coming from in some of his ar
guments. That is also not the purpose of
this letter. The aspect of his column that
irritated me the most was the delivery of
his point of view. He may have disagreed
with Ms. Prischak's arguments on the
topic of mainstream American/College
cultures, but this is no reason to begin
taunting the writer in a less-than mature
fashion.
Mr. Reschenthaler began by describ
ing her whole article as "a piece of edi
torial junk food." This comment may
have been intended to be humorous, but
it simply is not the way to start off a per
suasive column.
After the introduction, he got into the
body of the column, which posed good
arguments, but seemed to bleed imma
turity throughout Its devices. A few ex
amples include, "Amanda's whiny as
sault on American culture," and "Wow,
Amanda you sound a tad bitter." One of
his arguments was that Ms. Prischak was
being ironically judgmental. It appears
she is not the only one to appear this way
• h . 1 ma r • xec din th
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The Beacon encourages
letters to the editor. Letters
should include the address,
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standing, and major of the
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must be received no later than
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that week's issue
what is the point of this? Is it a cruel
form of solitary confinement designed
to make college professors even weirder
than they already are? No, they do it to
benefit the students by providing a time
when they can meet one on one
with their teachers.
So what Behrend has
done is create a situation
where the teachers are
forced to spend hours a
day in a cramped little
room that used to be a
janitor's closet (and in
some cases still is) to
benefit their students
who never come see
,t , ilo r dering, what
then, do the
professors , do with all these free
hours? They become bitter.
But Behrend does not want to pay
teachers to sit around waiting for stu
dents and becoming bitter, so they make
them fill up those office hours with busy
work. You know those little pencils
they give you to take tests? Well, that's
what they do, they make those. They
column made his argument that not all
frat boys are "dumb drunks" fall flat in
irony. Immediately after this argument,
he challenges her to call and get to know
him, but from the way the article was
written, insultingly and condescendingly,
Ms. Prischak may very well have already
learned more than she wanted to know
about Mr. Reschenthaler.
The problem with these methods of
persuasion, are that the ideas are lost
amidst the taunts. It is truly distracting
to have to read, "Do yourself a favor and
accept it," during a serious debate. An
adept writer would know that it is his/
her job to show the person why they
should be accepting a point, not an "I'm
right, you're wrong; there's nothing you
can do about it."
Lastly, we come to the conclusion of
the column, which may have been the
most offensive portion. In this section,
the writer threw out all reservations and
"stuck it to her." The insults can be
quoted as, "Look, here's how it is,
Amanda. You need a nap. You remind
me of a small child who is tired and
cranky." True, this is an editorial, so
some of the formalities can be ignored,
but this is just plain condescension. I
don't think it furthers the argument and
I think the Sophists would agree with me.
It is once again, ironic. In calling Ms.
Prischak a child, the columnist is mak
ing himself appear to be a child. I found
it most amusing that the title of the col
umn came from this section. Perhaps it
grabs the attention of the reader, but it
also portraits the very nature of the ar
ticle which in this case is not som thi
' MP
• A '
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1
4 P ii
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mil - „ .
Humor Page Editor
Ross Lockwood
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Jen Henderson
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Cathy Roan
"Professionalism
with a Personality"
them anyhow.
So, by now, you
must be won-
Letters to the Editor
Friday, September 20, 2002
A paradox in Iraq
I've been thinking about war. It seems
like we may very well be on our way to
declaring war with Saddam Hussein. As
of now, for those that did not know, Iraq
has agreed to allow U.N.
weapons inspectors
into the country.
me to believe one
things: either the U
States' threats of deck
war scared some sei
into Hussein, or perh,
this is merely another
ploy in their ultimate Dere
goal to simply baffle
the United Nations. I really do not think
that Saddam would stoop to anything
so low as to fear the United States.
People of this nature have no fear; they
simply convert it to rage.
This brings to mind another question
that I was planning to bring up had Iraq
not had a change of heart. Do we, the
United States, consider Saddam a ter
rorist or a dictator? This is something
that we as a nation need to decide, and
perhaps the UN needs to decide this, as
well. If he is a dictator, then we take
into account the fact that he has millions
of people under his whim; that he blinds
them with propaganda and completely
brainwashes them into believing what
he wants so that he can continue his anti-
U.S. campaign. If he is a terrorist, then
we recognize him as simply a madman
sit in their offices for hours taking nor
mal pencils, cutting them in half, and
sharpening them. All professors must
fill a certain quota set by Penn State
University. This is all very hush-hush
information and I only know it because
of my investigative reporting for the
Beacon. This is why whenever you ac
tually do stop by a teacher's office he
looks up at you as if he is in the middle
of some big important work. Nope, he's
just busy making miniature pencils like
a sweat shop worker.
By the way, the conspiracy grows;
they sell the excess pencils to golf
courses. The miniature pencil business
is a very lucrative and secret business
controlled by college campuses. How
do you think this school makes its
money?
Anyhow, how does all this help you
survive the fall semester? Simple. The
only break teachers are allowed to have
is when a student comes to the office.
This brightens their day. I know you
are thinking, "I don't even like spend
ing three hours a week with this per
son. Why would I want to go visit
them?"
I understand, it is a valid point. But
teachers make great friends. They have
you'd want to raise.
In the latter half of the conclusion, the
writer starts comparing the American
dream to all of the things that Ms.
Prischak wrote out against. This section
was insulting to the reader. "If Amanda
and others don't like this, they can move
to France..." Isn't it true that dreams are
different from person to person? It would
then follow that the American dream
would differ from person to person. Now,
I never said I was completely mature so
allow me this: to state that everyone must
like his idea of the American dream is
simply laughable. I honestly have never
shopped at Abercrombie; does this mean
I am refusing to take part in the Ameri
can dream? In the end, Americans are
just people and they all have their own
dreams. Some dream of Abercrombie,
and some dream of the individual. Who
is to say that the American dream is about
the white picket fence and a big house,
and not simply about having a dream?
The tragedy is that the American
dream had to be brought up in such deep
ironies as, "While you run off for 'quiet
time,' I'll address our audience in a seri
ous, logical, and practical manner."
Michael Oey
DUS
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Bledsoe
the top
Outdoors Fest and SAF
Despite it being Friday the thirteenth,
despite there only being two teams signed
up, despite the fact that it was planned in
four weeks, the Outdoors Festival went ex
tremely well.
The Festival was held to benefit the
Make-a-Wish Foundation, and helped a
little girl realize her dream to go to
Disneyland. Commuter Council and the
Behrend Outdoors Club raised approxi
mately $3OO to go towards this girls dream.
I would like to personally thank all of those
Behrend students and others that contrib
uted to this cause.
There were a total of five teams that par
ticipated in the event which consisted of a
tent building competition, a bridge cross
ing exercise, a car wash, and a race through
the Gorge. We had a very diverse group
of people attending, with participants from
groups such as ABC, Alpha Phi Omega,
Delta Chi, MCC, OLAS, and Delta Sigma
Pi. It was a very successful event, in my
eyes, and I believe that those involved en
joyed participating very much.
The reason I am writing is based on a
rumor, and I apologize preemptively for
basing an argument on a rumor.
The Outdoors Club and Commuter
Council requested $2OO for food to be
served at the dance after the festival.
It was brought to my attention that the
money we had requested from the SAF
fund was not granted, and that the logic
behind the turndown was that only two
teams had signed up for the event. It was
also brought to my attention that Tau
Kappa Epsilon and Theta Phi Alpha were
granted approximately $lO,OOO to have the
Clarks conic to campus. Don't get me
wrong, I am a Clarks fan, and am glad to
hear the will be at Behrend.
who aims his crosshairs with no goal of
peace, just the desire for destruction to
make a point.
Both points of view could be pinned
on Saddam, however each
rents itself with a very
erent approach as to ex
ly how we deal with him.
he is a dictator, then I
ink we need United Na
tons. support. I worry that
sometimes, in our arro
gance, the United States
takes upon itself to al
, ,
• " ways know what the
right thing is, and to be able to take
the undeniable power that we have and
use it to get things done. If we do de
clare war on Iraq, we need our U.N. al
lies. War is a terrible thing, and to my
knowledge, no war has been won with
out the help of allies. We need to real
ize that in starting a war with Saddam
Hussein, we are taking on a power to
the likes of which we can not fully com
prehend.
Taking direct action may eliminate
Iraq's threat for now, but is that worth
undermining a board of nations that we
have come to rely on and trust for sup
port? I do not mean to imply that I do
not think declaring war is necessarily
the wrong decision, just that I think we
need diplomatic support around the
world if we want to continue our image
the power to make your life much
easier, plus give you good grades. Tell
them things like, "Wow, have you been
working out?" or "Gee, is that a new
pocket protector? It really brings out
your eyes." Then ask them for answers
to the test. Works like a charm.
But don't make friends with a teacher
The Behrend Beacon
as a father nation
However, the flip side of that coin is
if we view Saddam Hussein as a terror
ist, then that is a different story. In this
case, I think there is no contest as to
what we should do- to he blunt, bomb
the hell out of him. We stated in a creed
shortly after the 9/11 attacks that we will
not tolerate, negotiate, nor associate
with terrorists or anyone who aids or
tolerates them. I think it is sad how poli
tics can cloud such a simple article of
faith. The lines begin to blur and then
the exceptions come into play.
I realize that my two opinions may
seem to conflict, however if you look
closely, they are one and the same. 13a
sically, we need to decide how we are
approaching this situation in Iraq. Is it
a global fight that we are trying to head
in the hope of peace? Or, is it a personal
threat that we are trying to eliminate?
We can not play both sides of this argu
ment, we must chose either one or the
other. Then, while perhaps people may
not agree with our actions, they will he
able to understand them as our time sim
ply becomes a chapter in a history hook.
Bledsoe's column
appears every three weeks
to use them. Do it because college pro
fessors are the most noble, kind, and
wise people on this earth. I personally
love all of my professors and am hon
ored to he in their classes.
Fallon's column
appears every three weeks
I would just like to go over the logistics
of the money allotted. If 200 people go to
the Clarks, SAF will have provided about
$5O per student. Even if only two teams
had participated in the Outdoors Festival,
SAF would have only spent $l7 per per
son.
Personally, I feel that those who make
the decisions for SAF should take into ac
count that this large sum of money should
be distributed more evenly amongst stu
dent organizations who are making and
honest effort to provide programming that
a wide variety of students can enjoy.
Perhaps I am in error. Perhaps there was
some other logic behind not funding us,
and if that is the case then, once again, I
apologize.
If we (SAF) are going to not distribute
money on the account of people not being
signed up, then maybe we should have a
sign up sheet for every event on campus.
How many people were signed up to go
see the Clarks?
SAF's goal in providing funding is to
"promote diversity among students from a
variety of backgrounds and belief sys
tems", and they expect the program to he
marketed to all students. The Outdoors
Festival fulfilled both of those qualifica
tions, so my question is: What more does
a club have to do to get funding'?
I guess that from now on, our on-cam
pus groups should include a petition of
people interested in the event, and maybe
in doing so they will convince the SAF
board that the event is worthwhile.
Keenan Hansen
President of Behrend Outdoors Club
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