THE BEHREND BEACON
Scream 3 is too corny for its own good
by Katie Galley
editorial editor
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far
away...oh wait, wrong trilogy! Al
though I would have rather been
watching that one, as opposed to the
final installment of the Scream tril
ogy.
For those of you who have not yet
seen the last act of Screws, I'll give
you a little advice, don't go see it! It
was horrible! I cannot believe that I
wasted my last seven dollars to go see
this. And to think that I was initially
pretty excited to see it, only to he bru
tally rebuffed by this hack job of a
horror movie.
I rea:ly don't want to bore you with
all the details of the movie, and be
lieve me; they are boring, so all you
A fast, quick, and clear Peyote Connection
by Leanne Acklin
staff write!
The rhythm that filled Forward Hall
last Saturday night was definitive vet
resilient, gripping yet moving. The
people that filled the hall were also
definitive, resilient, gripping and un
doubtedly moving (although some
were doing more of a C(H) ‘ ulsve mo
tion, but moving nonetheless). The
band that packed all this diverse ex-
citement into one place brings all
, these into their music. fans, and as
k suredly their name: Intergalactic
Peyote Connection.
IPC, commonly referred to simply:
as "the hand," consists of six local
Erieites, including Brian Mistro \ ich,
Matt Hudson, Mike Boegter, Vinny
Auditori, Paul Rennie, and Miah
Sutton. Saturda y 's show also pre
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Academy Awards Preview
Below: Denzel Washington
stars in "The Hurricane." (KRT
photo by George Kraychyk)
need to know is this. The same three
people that survive every time,
Sidney, Gale and Dewey are hack
again, along with a plethora of point
less, mundane actors that are only
there to get their lives cut short, for
our viewing pleasure.
If the actors aren't enough to make
you fall asleep in your seats, then the
plot surely will he. Wait, did I say
plot? I should have said, sorry excuse
for a plot. Apparently, since the only
rule in the third part of trilogies is that
there are no rules, screenwriter Ehren
Kruger just pulled the whole script out
of his butt! I spent half the time go
ing, "Why did that guy just do that'?"
or "Who is that?" or the best question
yet, ''WHY is Sidney's mom walking
around dead wearing a white sheet?"
The plot really was crap.
seated a mysterious new member to
the group that common IPC follow
ers were surprised to see. and who
remained unidentified for the entire
show.
The talented seven pulled off a
: jam session that lasted nearly 90 min
utes, ending close to 1:00 a.m. And
most at the performance didn't seem
to mind as a herd of artsy teens
flowed as hest they could with the
hanging of the bongos and moving
rhythm of the hays. Enter two elec
tric guitars, a trap set, and a keyboard
shortly after, and we've got ourselves
one nicking hall, packed with pushy
teen chickies fighting for the front
of the stage and overgrown finites
ho selfishli, and cruelly make it a
point to Nock the view of a music
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13ut frustration set aside, this hand
possessed a mellow quality coin-
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FEATURES
And that leads me into another
point that just irritated the hell out of
me, the vulgar language. Note to self:
remind Mr. Kruger that potty mouth
jokes are darn funny...when you are
10! That being said, let me tell you
the percentage of 14-year-olds in the
theater with me, a NON-14 year-old.
I think the final tally was about 85%,
to the lowly 15% of people old
enough to not need their mom to
drive them there and pick them up
after the show. So, if Mr. Kruger
wanted to capture his audience with
his brilliant screenwriting then he
failed miserably, but if he wanted to
suck in the under 15 crowd with his
witty vernacular then he hit the nail
on the head! Good job sir, you know
how to write more four letter words
than anyone else in Hollywood, that's
hined with the same exciting rhythm
evident in bands such as Rusted Root.
IPC also featured two skillful guitar
ists who never failed to impress with
their quick fingers and cute glances
at the crowd.
' The band has cut a CD composed
of four tracks which average 17 min
utes of similar innovations that I
would expect to find showcased
among the more upbeat categories of
elevator music. Nevertheless, I look
for more than just the usual high
school groupies appearing in their
enthralled audiences at upcoming
shows.
Keep a lookout for future IPC
shows. Forward Hall plans to
house them again in April.
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Left: Kevin Spacey and
Annette Benning star in
"American Beauty." (KRT
photo by Lorey Sebastian)
Below: Charlize Theron, left,
and Tobey Maguire in a scene
from Lasse Hallstrom's "The
Cider House Rules." (KRT
photo)
FEBRUARY 18, 2000
something to be proud of!
I digress about the language though
because compared to the ending that
they tried to feed me. it was actually
a moot point! The ending might have
been the worst part of the whole
movie. You know, I actually left the
first Scream feeling good with the clo
sure and the killer was actually be
lievable. The second one, now that
was kinda stretching it, but the conti
nuity was still good. When I left the
theater this time, I was completely
disgusted that I was supposed to be
lieve that crap! Was I really supposed
to go along with the malarkey that was
being dished out? How low-budget
did they want to go? I blame it on Mr.
Kruger and his butt-pulling fourth
grade scripts.
There were only two parts that
IPC members play the bon.o and • uitar at Forward Hall
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mildly redeemed this film. One, the
cameo appearance of Jay and Silent
Bob, of Mallrats fame. And they were
only in the movie for about 10 sec
onds and I got more enjoyment in
those 10 brief seconds than the entire
2 hours I was watching the movie. The
other part that was good...urn, I for
get. No wait, I remember, it was the
end! So I don't have to be subjected
to anymore of these psuedo-Genera
tion-X horror films. Thank God!
So what was the final thing that
made this film so horrible? The only
explanation that I can find is the ab
sence of the former screenwriter,
Kevin Williamson. I guess he was too
busy paddling down Dawson's Creek
to worry about the last part of the
legacy that started out wonderful.
Not to worry though, we have been
Aries (March 21-April 19). Watch out for
people's elbows.
Taurus (April 20-May 20). Clean up your
room. You never know when someone
important will show up.
Gemini (May 21-June 21). Spring break is
right around the corner, so smile for once.
Cancer (June 22-July 22). Dress lighter,
then tell people you're not stupid, just
optimistic.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22). Make some time
for a Behrend basketball playoff game.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Avoid sudden
urges to drive when Jordan Road is cov
ered with snow.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Surf the web for
job information instead of hamster dances.
Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Cranberry, it's
the key to regularity in all facets of life.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Everything
is real, believe me.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Don't let
Valentine's Day be the only day for show-
ing caring and generosity
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb 18). Change your
appearance for once. Dye your hair or
something.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20). Deep thought
—keep your head up because it will make
people know just what you represent.
by
Bongo the three legged
monkey
promised that this is the last Screwp
movie we will ever see. But if for
some reason the muses of horror film
past dredge up another installment
just make sure they get Kevii;
Williamson to write it. And tell him
to bring along the cast of the Creek,
might actually pay to see them gc
slaughtered by the masked killer.
This concludes our tribute to the tril
ogy of our time, the Scream series
of movies created by Kevin
Williamson. We would love to hear
your opinion on his series of films.
so send a letter to the editor to be
heard.
Y.
, (j)
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