Page 6 - The Behrend College Beacon - Thursday. March 18. 1V99
Cruel Intentions:
and Buffy the Vampire Slayer
by Will Jordan
editor in chief
Cruel Intentions is an entertaining,
seductive tale about upper class teen
agers on summer break. It is a screen
adaptation of Les Liaisons
Dangereuses, the classic novel by
Pierre Laclos. The novel as well as
the movie portray sexual manipula
tion and romantic war games. The
main characters Kathryn (Sarah
Michelle Gellar) and Sebastian (Ryan
Phillippe) are two wealthy and ma
nipulative teenage stepsiblings. They
are from the upper class district in
Manhattan.
There is a basic yet sinister plot in
the movie Cruel Intentions. Sebastian
has slept with every girl that he has
Thinking about seeing Analyze Tfe?...Fuggeddaboudit!
by Deanna Symoski
staff writer
Take one legendary wise guy and
one lovable comedian and what do
you gel? Ripped ott. It's a combina
tion that isn't always a marriage made
in Hollywood Heaven and Analyze
This proves it.
Robert DeNiro stars as (w-hat else)
an infamous Malioso crime boss
named Paul Vitti whose violent child
hood memories resurlace alter he wit
nesses his best friend's murder. Keep
ing all those teelings bottled up can t
be good lor anyone —even a gang
ster —so when the panic attacks start.
Vitti goes looking tor a quick tix.
Ben. played by Billy Crystal, is the
psychiatrist who. through a
ACROSS
I Strip on the
highway
7 Trodden track
II Saloon
14 Nevertheless
15 Opera song
16 Baseball stat.
17 Florida city
18 Molly of‘The
Breakfast Club”
20 Full of foliage
22 Temperature
increments
23 Glaswegian
25 Musical gift
27 _ Paulo
28 Pipe buildup
29 Latticework for
vines
31 Bring upon
oneself
35 End of an __
36 Paint brush
display
38 Removed
39 Diminish
40 Adler and
Benson
42 Fat farm
43 1996 candidate
45 Beariike
46 Chum
47 Golfer Sam
49 Inasmuch as
50 Lubricate
51 Deity
53 Trawling device
54 Singer Williams
55 Massachusetts
peninsula
59 Gauges
61 Small wind
instruments
63 Baltimore pro
66 Thurman of “Pulp
Fiction”
67 Hit by the Kinks
68 Closer
69 According to
70 Poet’s Ireland
71 One prone to
back talk
DOWN
1 Fellows
2 LeGallienneor
set out to get up until this point. His
next conquest arises when he and his
stepsister place a little wager between
each other. To win the bet he must
have sex with the new headmaster’s
daughter, Annette (Reese
Witherspoon). An added bonus to this
little game is that he gets to corrupt
the naive girlfriend Ceeile (Selma
Blair) of Kathryn’s ex-boyfriend
Court Reynolds. The added bonus is
Kathryn’s way of getting back at her
ex for dumping her and hooking up
with a completely clueless girl in
Ceeile.
The stipulations of the bet are that
if Sebastian loses, Kathryn will get his
mint 1956 Jaguar and the shame of
defeat. However, if Sebastian wins,
he will receive unbridled pleasures
from the one girl that he could not
misfortunate fender-bender, becomes
Vitti’s saving grace. He’s got two
weeks to cure Pauly for a big meet
ing. avoid getting shot and/or arrested,
deal with his own family's dysfunc
tion and marry his pretty liancee
played by FriendAy Lisa Kudrow.
That's all fine and good, but would
somebody please explain the word
aenre to Harold Ramis, who co-wrote
and directed this film, because I don’t
think he gets it. 1 couldn't tell if Ana
lyze This was trying to be an action
movie starring a couple ol comedians,
or a comedy about violent criminal.
I don't even think the cast knew be
cause it seemed like DeNiro and Crys
tal were acting in two different mov
ies: Goodfellas and What About Bob '.’
© 1999 Tribune Media Services, Inc
All rights reserved.
Gabor
3 Wretched
4 Small harbor
5 On a cruise
6 1922 vampire film
7 Golfer’s norm
8 Very dry
9 Fork prongs
10 Old Testament
book
11 Scottish hillside
12 Competent
13 Eliminates
19 Incorrect
21 Gabs
23 Knights’ chargers
24 Diamond,
basically
26 Arrives like the tide
29 Silly billy
30 Put in new
padding
32 Joint supporters
33 Still owing
34 In actual truth
37 Endorsements
41 Comprehend
Sex, lies,
have, Kathryn.
The plot is very misleading at
times, alluding to hot passionate sex
scenes and leaving the viewer hang
ing. Even though there is one real sex
scene, the only nudity in the entire
film is Sebastian’s bare behind. I am
sure that all of the women who go to
see this film will enjoy seeing this but
it wasn’t exactly the high point for the
men in the audience.
The film is directed by Roger
Kumble. Kumble also wrote the
screenplay. He puts several twists in
the plot which add to the entertain
ment of the film. Comedy is present
in almost every scene that Selma Blair
is in. Although the ending of the film
is an unexpected one, all in all the film
is very entertaining. I give this film
two and a half stars.
However, this really isn’t anyone’s and together he and DeNiro are go
fault but tne casting director’s, ing to start wailing on this guy with a
DeNiro is a great wise guy —even a baseball bat.
good stalker on occasion—but when And 1 would tell you more about
he’s playing a mobster don’t try to t | le p| o[ except I’m still “analyzing”
make him be funny, because, guess j ts multiple personalities. Had this
what, he’s not. He’s dangerous and fj| m j U st picked a story line and gone
sometimes that’s kind of fun, but this w j t h it. Analyze might have made
film is begging for a softer thug to better sense. But so many subplots
play along side Crystal’s straight man. are hinted at then abandoned, I wasn’t
DeNiro’s ruthlessness is what we love sure w hy i wa s supposed to be watch
in movies like Casino, but here it ac- j n g th c film at all. For example, Ben
tually makes me atraid lor poor Crys- has some unresolved issues ol his
tal, who appears as though he really own —with his father, his ex-wife,
has been kidnapped by the Matia. The even hjs own son it seems—and yet
fear in his eyes looks real and appears nonc 0 f those things are fully realized,
real and becomes sort of unsettling for And if Ramis wanted to run with the
the viewer. You can t help but think
Joe Pesci’s going to come walking in
Champing at the
bit
Easily led
Philanthropist
John Smith,
perhaps
d’etat
48
52
54
Features
Kathryn (Sarah Michelle Cellar) and Sebastian (Ryan Phillippe) are conniving stepsiblings who
make a bet that lands them in an entangled diabolical web in the Columbia Pictures presentation,
Cruel Intentions.
humor, he could have more fully ex
plored the fact that the FBI started
3/18199
High point
Jack of talk-shows
Spanish painter
Square measure
__ Clemente, CA
Actor Marvin
Mess up
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11 am -4 pm
at the
Reed Commons
It’s easy to save lives!
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Please eat well before you sign in.
Please Give Blood!
Questions? Call Community Blood Bank, 456-4206
watchine Ben. Who wouldn t like to
see the zany antics of a bunch of
bumbling agents and an unsuspecting
family man? Instead the film goes
from funny to sad to violent so cjuickly
it pushes you to laugh during scenes
that would have given DeNiro an
Oscar for dramatic acting in any other
film. The audience is forced to ride a
high-speed rollercoaster ot emotions
so that they don’t feel anything long
enough to get to know the characters
and are left feeling rather dizzy.
And that’s really too bad since the
first ten minutes of the film had such
promise. Vitti tells the story of how
all the bosses around the country got
together at a farm house in the 1950 s
and how the Feds raided the meeting
before it even eot started. The final
scene depicts his father and one of the
Ganibinos getting away on a tractor
that they commandeered from a lo
cal. 1 wish the whole film had been
about that.
Analyze This did have some funny
moments and would be worth seeing
for a dollar. But when you consider
the talent loaded into this film: Billy
Crystal, Robert DeNiro, Lisa
Kudrow —even a cameo appearance
by Tony Bennett —the film simply
should have been better. Despite fea
turing actors who are all fantastic on
their own. Analyze This manages to
come up a few good fellas short of
good.